Comments from an alert reader and a link to the Creation Museum (Motto: Prepare to Believe) tempt me into another rant, but breaking developments on the missing seniors in Japan (National Motto: We live longer than you do; neener neener neener!) require my attention there.
The news is not encouraging. The Japanese government had previously listed around 45,000 Japanese citizens as being over 100 years old, but the recent push to discover missing seniors has revealed that over 200,000 centenarians have gone missing. Some would be over 150 years old.
Scenario
Scene opens in town office where public pensions are administered.
Watanabe Aho (Director of Records): OK, it's time for our annual review of pension recipients. Let's see... we have 123 people on record here as being over 100 years old! Amazing.
Tanaka Manuke (Assistant Record Keeper) Yes, it truly is amazing. Did you know that once again Japan leads the world in longevity amongst developed nations, according to international reports?
Watanabe: Yes! It fills me with pride. Say...(looking at a chart)... what about this person? His name is Kourei Toshiyori. He was born in 1873! That means that this December, he will be 137 years old!
Tanaka: Yes, he is the only person on our lists who is still receiving military retirement benefits from the Russo-Japanese War. He was in the Imperial Navy, you know.
Watanabe: That is so amazing. And look at this one! Ojii Shinisou. Our records show that he was born in 1890.
Tanaka: (checking the computer) Yes, I visited his family only last month to wish him a happy 120th birthday, but – wouldn't you know it – he was napping and couldn't receive any guests.
Watanabe: (chuckling) Yeah, well seniors that old deserve their naps! My data shows that he was around during the occupation of Korea in 1910! It says here that he was on Vice Admiral Chuichi Nagumo's staff during the Pearl Harbor attack! Imagine all that he has seen and done in his long life!
Tanaka: Yes, it is truly astounding.
Watanabe: He has been receiving his government pension now for 55 years. It is the least our society can do for someone who has given so much to our country over these many years.
Tanaka: Truly. Look at this one! Oh my god! I knew that women lived longer than men in general, but this one is remarkable. Her name is Koukourei Miira. She was born in – get this – 1855! She is 155 years old this year!
Watanabe: Yes, I went to her house last – let me see – last January to give her our special award for longevity. She is the oldest person in our district you know! Unfortunately, her family said she was napping and could not be disturbed, but they accepted the award on her behalf.
Tanaka: (looking at the computer again) Awww... that is so sweet. Did you know that she was a witness to the Meiji Restoration! Remarkable.
Watanabe: (putting the files back into their cabinets) OK, it looks like all these people check out. Let's look at the 90-year-olds now, OK?
Tanaka: Good idea, we can't be too careful with the public's money, can we.
Showing posts with label centenarians. Show all posts
Showing posts with label centenarians. Show all posts
Monday, September 13, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Let's Senior
Japan has had loads of problems lately with tracking where their seniors have gone. The issue of how to provide for the aging population has simply consumed the nation for years, and now... suddenly... the seniors seem not to have been there all along. Blessings come when least expected.
Electronics giant, Sony (Motto: Let us implant something in you), has decided that having seniors (centenarians in particular) running loose is not the Japanese Way, so they have come up with an IC chip that can help the nation keep track of its elders.
How sweet.
Scenario
Scene opens with obviously demented senior shuffling down the street. She passes a detection device which immediately relays the location of the senior to her family. Her oldest son is watching the J-League soccer game on TV at home.
Oldest Son: (not taking his eyes off of the TV) Hey! Have you looked at the STD today? (SDT = Senior Tracking Device).
Wife: No! And listen... Ichitaro (their son) had his soccer practice this morning and I had to take him out to the field. Then Nihime (their daughter) had her piano lessons after that, so I had to rush back and pick her up and take her over to Hetakuso Piano School for that. What have YOU been doing? It's YOUR mom after all.
Oldest Son: Don't fly into a snit every time we talk about my mom! I was just asking. I thought MAYBE you might have checked the STD to see where she was! I woke up this morning and didn't see her around and just wondered where she might have gone.
Wife: You woke up this morning at 10! I have been up since 5:30. Do you know that Ichitaro (their son... in case you might have forgotten) has his soccer practices during the summer from 8?
Oldest Son: Eight o'clock in the morning? Wow. When I was in school we had soccer practice from 9 o'clock. He must really been getting in some good practice!
Wife: (speaking over the last sentence of Oldest son's comment) What I am saying is, I had to get up at 5:30 and make a lunch for Ichitaro and also Nihime -- and you KNOW how she hates her bento if it isn't cute; I just HATE having to cut the sausages into little octopusses with the eyes and everything? -- and then I had to get Ichitaro's uniform out and get him dressed and so on while you were down here on the floor, wallowing around recovering from your night out with your "colleagues" last night! Why were you out so late anyway?!
Oldest Son: Huh? I was at work... and.... and... then we all went out drinking... it was Friday after all.
Wife: Mmhm.... and where did you go drinking?
Oldest Son: The usual places downtown... I forget... the Bar Licky? I think it was the Bar Licky.
Wife: Yeah? Well, Hiroshi (Oldest son's colleague from work) just called a little while ago -- while you were still unconscious here on the living room floor -- asking why you didn't come out with the company group last night! He wanted to know if you were sick or what?!!
Oldest Son: Oh... Hiroshi called? Oh.... well... what does HE know.
Narrator: Meanwhile, Grandma has walked off the edge of the bridge and fallen into a huge culvert where she has been swept away.)
Oldest Son: I didn't know Hiroshi was going out last night... he told me he had to go home!
Wife: (hands on hips, with eyes staring daggers) So... Where DID you go last evening?!
Oldest Son: Um.. I went drinking like always.... to the Bar Licky... with the others... Hiroshi wasn't there.
Wife: I hate to say this because it makes me seem like an awful person, but I called the Bar Licky and they said no group from Saitei Kaisha (Oldest son's company) had come in last night. (she looks at him meaningfully)
Narrator: Grandma is carried by the unusually high water (this season) and flowed out into Tokyo Bay.
Oldest Son: Hmm... maybe it wasn't the Bar Licky that we went to.... I was drunk! How am I supposed to remember?! Don't you know that in Japanese culture when someone is drunk we forgive and forget all about it?!
Wife: What the fuck are you talking about? You were out with your colleague alright... what's her name... Aiko.
Oldest Son: I WAS not... she was only there for a little while and then she had to go back to her apartment in Roppongi.
Wife: Right... Roppongi...
Oldest Son: Yes... she had to go home to... to... take care of her aging mother.
Narrator: Grandma has been flowed along with a large styrofoam box (used for shipping chilled fish) and managed to stay on top of it as she is swept out beyond Tokyo Bay.
Wife: Crap. Her mother died 20 years ago. Don't you read the papers? Aiko is under suspicion for pension fraud.
Oldest Son: What? Really? Oh... I didn't know that? Wow.... I wondered why she always seemed to be able to pay for all the .....
Wife: The WHAT?!!!
Oldest Son: Oops...
Narrator: Grandma on her styrofoam shipping box has been swept out into the Pacific Ocean.
Wife: I HATE YOU!! You have NEVER cared for me or the kids... I am so TIRED of doing everything around here, waiting on you and your mom hand and.... YOUR MOM!!
Oldest Son: Oh my god... where IS she?!!
Wife: Let me check the STD (Senior Tracking Device, for those of you who have not been paying attention). She is not on the screen! The last blip shows her around the river!!!
Oldest Son: Oh my god! What if she fell in?!! Let's go look for her.
October 17th, 2010
San Francisco (Reuters) Japanese Woman Sets Record
This morning at 08:17 Coast Guard Cutter WAGL-305 Mesquite recovered Ms. Furuko Tanaka from the sea outside of San Francisco bay. She had sailed across the Pacific Ocean on a large, styrofoam shipping box. At 91 years old, she has been recognized by the Guiness Book Of World Records as the oldest person to single-handedly sail across the Pacific Ocean.
When asked about her achievement, Furuko responded, "I love raw fish, and the Pacific Ocean is still full of it!"
She has been taken to a local hotel where she awaits contact from her family in Japan.
Electronics giant, Sony (Motto: Let us implant something in you), has decided that having seniors (centenarians in particular) running loose is not the Japanese Way, so they have come up with an IC chip that can help the nation keep track of its elders.
How sweet.
Scenario
Scene opens with obviously demented senior shuffling down the street. She passes a detection device which immediately relays the location of the senior to her family. Her oldest son is watching the J-League soccer game on TV at home.
Oldest Son: (not taking his eyes off of the TV) Hey! Have you looked at the STD today? (SDT = Senior Tracking Device).
Wife: No! And listen... Ichitaro (their son) had his soccer practice this morning and I had to take him out to the field. Then Nihime (their daughter) had her piano lessons after that, so I had to rush back and pick her up and take her over to Hetakuso Piano School for that. What have YOU been doing? It's YOUR mom after all.
Oldest Son: Don't fly into a snit every time we talk about my mom! I was just asking. I thought MAYBE you might have checked the STD to see where she was! I woke up this morning and didn't see her around and just wondered where she might have gone.
Wife: You woke up this morning at 10! I have been up since 5:30. Do you know that Ichitaro (their son... in case you might have forgotten) has his soccer practices during the summer from 8?
Oldest Son: Eight o'clock in the morning? Wow. When I was in school we had soccer practice from 9 o'clock. He must really been getting in some good practice!
Wife: (speaking over the last sentence of Oldest son's comment) What I am saying is, I had to get up at 5:30 and make a lunch for Ichitaro and also Nihime -- and you KNOW how she hates her bento if it isn't cute; I just HATE having to cut the sausages into little octopusses with the eyes and everything? -- and then I had to get Ichitaro's uniform out and get him dressed and so on while you were down here on the floor, wallowing around recovering from your night out with your "colleagues" last night! Why were you out so late anyway?!
Oldest Son: Huh? I was at work... and.... and... then we all went out drinking... it was Friday after all.
Wife: Mmhm.... and where did you go drinking?
Oldest Son: The usual places downtown... I forget... the Bar Licky? I think it was the Bar Licky.
Wife: Yeah? Well, Hiroshi (Oldest son's colleague from work) just called a little while ago -- while you were still unconscious here on the living room floor -- asking why you didn't come out with the company group last night! He wanted to know if you were sick or what?!!
Oldest Son: Oh... Hiroshi called? Oh.... well... what does HE know.
Narrator: Meanwhile, Grandma has walked off the edge of the bridge and fallen into a huge culvert where she has been swept away.)
Oldest Son: I didn't know Hiroshi was going out last night... he told me he had to go home!
Wife: (hands on hips, with eyes staring daggers) So... Where DID you go last evening?!
Oldest Son: Um.. I went drinking like always.... to the Bar Licky... with the others... Hiroshi wasn't there.
Wife: I hate to say this because it makes me seem like an awful person, but I called the Bar Licky and they said no group from Saitei Kaisha (Oldest son's company) had come in last night. (she looks at him meaningfully)
Narrator: Grandma is carried by the unusually high water (this season) and flowed out into Tokyo Bay.
Oldest Son: Hmm... maybe it wasn't the Bar Licky that we went to.... I was drunk! How am I supposed to remember?! Don't you know that in Japanese culture when someone is drunk we forgive and forget all about it?!
Wife: What the fuck are you talking about? You were out with your colleague alright... what's her name... Aiko.
Oldest Son: I WAS not... she was only there for a little while and then she had to go back to her apartment in Roppongi.
Wife: Right... Roppongi...
Oldest Son: Yes... she had to go home to... to... take care of her aging mother.
Narrator: Grandma has been flowed along with a large styrofoam box (used for shipping chilled fish) and managed to stay on top of it as she is swept out beyond Tokyo Bay.
Wife: Crap. Her mother died 20 years ago. Don't you read the papers? Aiko is under suspicion for pension fraud.
Oldest Son: What? Really? Oh... I didn't know that? Wow.... I wondered why she always seemed to be able to pay for all the .....
Wife: The WHAT?!!!
Oldest Son: Oops...
Narrator: Grandma on her styrofoam shipping box has been swept out into the Pacific Ocean.
Wife: I HATE YOU!! You have NEVER cared for me or the kids... I am so TIRED of doing everything around here, waiting on you and your mom hand and.... YOUR MOM!!
Oldest Son: Oh my god... where IS she?!!
Wife: Let me check the STD (Senior Tracking Device, for those of you who have not been paying attention). She is not on the screen! The last blip shows her around the river!!!
Oldest Son: Oh my god! What if she fell in?!! Let's go look for her.
October 17th, 2010
San Francisco (Reuters) Japanese Woman Sets Record
This morning at 08:17 Coast Guard Cutter WAGL-305 Mesquite recovered Ms. Furuko Tanaka from the sea outside of San Francisco bay. She had sailed across the Pacific Ocean on a large, styrofoam shipping box. At 91 years old, she has been recognized by the Guiness Book Of World Records as the oldest person to single-handedly sail across the Pacific Ocean.
When asked about her achievement, Furuko responded, "I love raw fish, and the Pacific Ocean is still full of it!"
She has been taken to a local hotel where she awaits contact from her family in Japan.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Longevity in Japan Part 3
The saga of the missing centenarians continues. Recent investigations discovered one senior's son who was carrying her remains around in a backpack since 2001. He could not afford a proper burial. Clearly her pension payments which continued all the while were not enough to cover the proper disposal of her remains, so what is a son to do? Keeping her close seems warmly filial, considering the suffering he must have endured from losing his beloved mom.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
Longevity in Japan
It's well known that Japanese have one of the longest life expectancies in the world. There are many people around in their 70s and 80s and even 90-year-olds are not that uncommon. People who live to be 100 years old – passing the century mark – are often singled out by their communities for recognition. A social worker or someone from city hall will come around, bringing a small gift to recognize the remarkable achievement in long life.
Of course, often the elderly centenarians cannot come to the door to receive their award. After all, being 100 years old is no picnic. The old people might be napping. They might be ill and bed ridden. They might be dead.
Dead?
Alas, yes. Mr. Kato a resident of Suginami Ward in Tokyo reached the remarkable age of 111 years old this year. Welfare workers from the ward office wanted to visit this amazing man to present him with a small token of their appreciation of his being the oldest man in the entire city of Tokyo. Regrettably, according to his daughter, he was unable to come to the door on account of being bed ridden. They came back another time. Unfortunately, the poor man still could not make it to the door. They returned another time determined to recognize him for being the oldest man in the whole city of Tokyo. Once again, his daughter said he was not up to receiving visitors.
This made the ward officials suspicious, and they went to the police. The police – not bringing an award – forced their way into the house and discovered the reason for Mr. Kato's inability to receive guests. He was dead. Not only dead, but mummified. The police found newspapers scattered about his room with dates from 30 years previous. It seems that Mr. Kato had not lived to be 111, but more like 81. The family is being investigated for pension fraud.
Ah, the bad apples that spoil the barrel. What is to be done about them?
The officials in Suginami Ward (obviously a hotbed of longevity) shook their heads in disbelief. "It's isolated incidents like this that give everyone the wrong impression about longevity in Tokyo!"
Another day. Suginami Ward officials head out to pay their respects and give recognition to Ms. Furuya who, at 113 years old, is the oldest woman in Tokyo. Greeted at the door by her daughter, they discover that Ms. Furuya does not live there anymore. Despite the centenarian being registered at that address, the daughter claims that her elderly mother has not lived there for years, but is living with her brother with whom she has no contact. Upon investigation, authorities find that the house where the brother was supposed to be living had been torn down to make way for a highway. When they catch up with him later, he claims to have no knowledge of his mother either.
Uh oh. Suddenly everyone over 100 is suspect of not being over 100 anymore. Orders have been sent out, and now (even in the rural prefecture where we live, Niigata) social workers are going door-to-door to check on the welfare of the centenarians in their communities. As of tonight, no "missing" 100-year-olds have been discovered here in Niigata, but around the country? Nearly 200 centenarians remain unaccounted for.
Are you thinking what I am thinking?
No, not THAT thought!
The one about the 90-year-olds. That one.
Maybe a lot of them are missing too?
But on another note, Japan has long been concerned about the aging of its population and how the proportion of elderly folks is so high relative to the number of young people who are working to pay the way. Good news for the workers: there may not be so many old people after all!
Of course, often the elderly centenarians cannot come to the door to receive their award. After all, being 100 years old is no picnic. The old people might be napping. They might be ill and bed ridden. They might be dead.
Dead?
Alas, yes. Mr. Kato a resident of Suginami Ward in Tokyo reached the remarkable age of 111 years old this year. Welfare workers from the ward office wanted to visit this amazing man to present him with a small token of their appreciation of his being the oldest man in the entire city of Tokyo. Regrettably, according to his daughter, he was unable to come to the door on account of being bed ridden. They came back another time. Unfortunately, the poor man still could not make it to the door. They returned another time determined to recognize him for being the oldest man in the whole city of Tokyo. Once again, his daughter said he was not up to receiving visitors.
This made the ward officials suspicious, and they went to the police. The police – not bringing an award – forced their way into the house and discovered the reason for Mr. Kato's inability to receive guests. He was dead. Not only dead, but mummified. The police found newspapers scattered about his room with dates from 30 years previous. It seems that Mr. Kato had not lived to be 111, but more like 81. The family is being investigated for pension fraud.
Ah, the bad apples that spoil the barrel. What is to be done about them?
The officials in Suginami Ward (obviously a hotbed of longevity) shook their heads in disbelief. "It's isolated incidents like this that give everyone the wrong impression about longevity in Tokyo!"
Another day. Suginami Ward officials head out to pay their respects and give recognition to Ms. Furuya who, at 113 years old, is the oldest woman in Tokyo. Greeted at the door by her daughter, they discover that Ms. Furuya does not live there anymore. Despite the centenarian being registered at that address, the daughter claims that her elderly mother has not lived there for years, but is living with her brother with whom she has no contact. Upon investigation, authorities find that the house where the brother was supposed to be living had been torn down to make way for a highway. When they catch up with him later, he claims to have no knowledge of his mother either.
Uh oh. Suddenly everyone over 100 is suspect of not being over 100 anymore. Orders have been sent out, and now (even in the rural prefecture where we live, Niigata) social workers are going door-to-door to check on the welfare of the centenarians in their communities. As of tonight, no "missing" 100-year-olds have been discovered here in Niigata, but around the country? Nearly 200 centenarians remain unaccounted for.
Are you thinking what I am thinking?
No, not THAT thought!
The one about the 90-year-olds. That one.
Maybe a lot of them are missing too?
But on another note, Japan has long been concerned about the aging of its population and how the proportion of elderly folks is so high relative to the number of young people who are working to pay the way. Good news for the workers: there may not be so many old people after all!
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