Sometimes, we have to be serious.
Life is uncompromising in its demands, and we cannot just sit by, swill wine and ignore them.
As I have posted in previous articles here, here, and here (please read them for important background information), the Japanese are in grave danger of becoming extinct.
Yes, you read correctly, extinct.
We're talking dodo extinct.
Finally some people seem to be listening, and the issue is popping up in the news more frequently. The airwaves and newspaper columns are rampant with serious discussions about the causes of – and solutions to – this desperate problem.
There are grave worries:
Men and women basically live separate lives, young women don't want to marry Japanese men, and even those who ARE married can't handle becoming moms. What becomes of your youthful image after all?
If nothing is done, what happens? This is not the US House of Representatives we are talking about here, there are serious ramifications to Japan sitting on its butt and doing nothing; the people of Japan could disappear!
Even Japanese academics, long noted for myopic research into whatever seems most clearly unrelated to reality, are starting to weigh in with opinions on this matter. One such academic at Sofia University in Tokyo is recommending that the national government establish birth quotas to enable Japan to pull itself out of this death spiral and restore the nation to its future of high-flying grandeur.
Curious about how this view was being regarded by the national government, I pulled some strings and got an interview with Vice Sub-Assistant Secretary Chikan of the National Policy Unit. His secretary, a very attractive, young woman, showed me into his office.
Secretary: Mr. Chikan? This is Mr. Pterosaurish to interview you about Japan's population problem. Mr. Pterosaurish? This is Vice Sub-Assistant Secretary Chikan. (she bowed politely and backed out of the room, closing the heavy door as she backed away.)
Mr. Chikan: (in Japanese) They didn't say anything about a foreigner. Do you speak Japanese?
Me: Some.
Mr. C: Oh! Your Japanese is excellent. I am surprised! Very good, indeed! You must have a Japanese wife!
Me: Um... no...
Mr. C: Excellent! Excellent! Your pronunciation is very good! Wonderful!
What are you interested in asking me?
Me: The reason I am here is to ask you what you think about the recommendations of some academics to establish national birth rate quotas to prevent the decline of the Japanese population.
Mr. C: Yes, I am familiar with them and we, here at the National Policy Unit, are studying the problem. You see, we have a difficult issue with young Japanese men (he fidgeted uncomfortably). I am sure you are familiar with the – so called – "herbivore men" problem? (he looked at me as if he hoped I might not be familiar with it)
Me: Yes, I have read about that in the papers.
Mr. C: Oh! You have? Very good! Very good! (he spoke as if to a child who used the toilet for the first time)
Yes, these men – can you BELIEVE it? – refuse to have any dealings with women. Do you realize that as much as 70% of the male population in these prime, child-producing age groups are herbivores? They have no interest in having girlfriends at all!
Me: What do you plan to do about this problem? Bring in foreign carnivores?
Mr. C: (explosively) Are you out of your mind?! Foreigners?!! (spittle began to collect in the corners of his mouth) Did you know that 10% of marriages in the Tokyo area are already international connections; we don't need any more of that!
No offense, but I just can't see what benefit OUR gene pool would get
out of encouraging foreigners to come in and reproduce with our women! (he looked at me as if I might have been thinking about reproducing with their women)
Me: Well, it might increase the number of children.
Mr. C: Nonsense! We Japanese must save ourselves on our own; we cannot allow any more mixing than has already taken place. What would Japan BE, if everyone looked like a mix?
Me: Still here at the end of the century?
Mr. C: Ha! Very funny Mr. Pterosaurish. No! That is not what we in Prime Minister Abe's new government are thinking about as a counter strategy.
Me: What do you have in mind then?
Mr. C: Well, as I just mentioned, almost all of your herbivore types are in their 20s and 30s. They're young. So this means that there is a vast pool of young women whose ... how shall I put this?.... whose "needs" are going unmet! Heh heh heh.... (a blotchy blush spread across his cheeks)
Me: I see...
Mr. C: On the other hand (he continued breezily), there are a lot of civil servants in their 40s and 50s who are most assuredly NOT herbivores, like ME for example! (he puffed out his chest and smoothed his "bar code" comb-over hair with his finger tips) Plus, men in this group tend to be fairly well off and able to take on additional responsibilities for their country.
Me: Um... so what are you planning exactly?
Mr. C: Numerical targets tend to take on a life of their own, so we need to be prepared and establish reliable guidelines and policies now. We think that we can offer either tax advantages, cash-grant incentives or a combination of both to men in public service to take on mistresses. Many politicians have also been eager to be included in this program, displaying their dedication to the nation and their concern for its survival.
Me: What makes you think this will work out?
Mr. C: Well, we already know that unmarried couples in Japan have more children than married couples, so we will simply be building on an existing trend! All we need are the proper inducements.
Me: And the consequences of failure?
Mr. C: Failure?! Have you not heard of Viagra? We can include free prescriptions as a part of the incentive package.
Me: No... I meant the failure of the policy.
Mr. C: Oh! Yes... well... if we fail in this policy, we will no longer be able to support our senior citizens and will face a rapidly declining population. Even Finance Minister Aso's proposal that old people just "hurry up and die", while helpful over the short term, won't make for a growing population full of vitality. We cannot allow our policy to fail.
Me: Well... I certainly wish you well and hope for all the best. I wouldn't want my pension fund to run out due to a lack of young people, paying into it!
Mr. C: We and all the male members of the civil service and many politicians as well will do our best (he bowed his head dramatically, showing his sincerity and dedication to the cause).
Me: Thank you for your time.
Mr. C: Thank you for coming. And I would like to remind you once again that we are not looking for foreign participation in this program.
Me: I understand.
- - - - - - - - - -
And now the moment you have all been waiting for, the answer to last week's Bonus Questions!!
1. Aerial
a. chips (crisps, if you're British)
b. car
c. deodorant spray
d. laundry detergent
2. Aha
a. chocolate cookie
b. face soap
c. car
d. tampon
3. ACUO (all caps)
a. car
b. body thermometer
c. gum
d. vitality drink
4. Noah
a. laundry detergent
b. furniture polish
c. kitty litter
d. car
5. Speedy
a. car
b. deodorant
c. gum
d. instant soup
Showing posts with label sex in Japan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex in Japan. Show all posts
Monday, February 4, 2013
Monday, March 5, 2012
Save the Japanese Part 3
There is a movement here in Japan to nominate Japanese cuisine to the UNESCO World Heritage list. A noble effort indeed, but perhaps a more pressing agenda might be to place the Japanese themselves on the IUCN Red List of Threatened Species! As I have posted in previous articles here and here, the Japanese are in grave danger of becoming extinct.
All of the signs are bad and looking worse.
What can be done to turn these trends around and save the Japanese from extinction? It's a desperate situation. If nothing is done, someone will be turning out the lights in vast areas of Japan in as little as 40 years.
Some agencies and individuals are trying to reverse this decline.
As I posted recently, the Yakuza (Japanese mafia) are doing their bit to encourage marriage. Baseball teams, private businesses, and even local governments have tried to get involved in konkatsu, promoting marriage. Of course, yours truly has tried to do his part, as you can read in the links above.
Despite these efforts the trend is bleak.
And then I read that the National Police Agency (NPA) is cracking down on marriages with foreigners, calling some of them "bogus" and suggesting that they may be "creating the infrastructure for a host of other criminal activities". "Other" criminal activities!
Are they kidding me?
This is no time to be cracking down on marriage! It's like poaching pandas! They should be encouraging this. These marriages could set a good example for other Japanese. A Japanese is getting married in these connections after all; how bad can that be?
Other steps must be taken to reverse these discouraging trends. While I have been active in promoting ideas in this regard (see links above), this is no time to rest on my laurels. I need to keep pushing for new and cutting edge concepts to reverse this course.
Fortunately, I keep abreast of scientific discoveries and happened upon this important information about women's eggs.
You CAN make tiny omelets out of them after all!
Ha! Ha! Just kidding ladies.
No, the research being done reveals that contrary to popular belief, women are not born with a finite number of eggs, but retain the stem cells to produce them throughout their lives. Men also can continue to produce viable sperm until a very advanced age, but the problem seems to be in the "housing" for these reproductive cells. You know... their bodies.
Putting this in easy-to-understand, layman's terms, imagine you are an egg stem cell. At first the up-market neighborhood where you live is lively, growing and full of energy. Naturally, you want to send new eggs out into this welcoming world to find their way and blossom to a better tomorrow. The new sperm models are out too!
But then, as time passes, the old neighborhood starts to fall into decline. Most of the neighbors are cranky, old coots and even some of the nearby houses turn into crack dens. Leering, geezer sperms prowl the streets looking for trouble. Would you want to send your innocent eggs out into a world like this? Of course not. So you plop down on the sofa with the windows barred and watch TV all day in your night gown.
What you don't realize, however, is that withdrawing like this is the very reason for the general decline in the neighborhood!
The same applies to sperm stem cells. After a period of feeling young, dapper and full of oats, they suddenly wake up from their priapic fantasies and see how much their neighborhood has gone downhill. Even the eggs they see hanging around are past their best-by dates. Depressed, they simply give up and wallow in binge drinking and sleeping on the floor with dogs. With dogs!
So scientists want to provide "incentives" for you – the egg or sperm stem cell – to get up off your fat butt, clean up and start sending eggs or sperm out into the world to unite against the challenges you may experience there!
This could reverse many of the symptoms of menopause or – since the experiments are done in mice – "mouseopause" as those forever funny scientists call it. Similar work can be done on men as well. Aging mice have basically been made young again with this cutting edge technology!
The Japanese government needs to get cracking. Along with developing housing for the evacuees from the tsunami and nuclear power plant accident, it also must work on stimulating the "housing" for the poor, reproductive stem cells. Certain proteins have proven to be successful in this effort, so Japan needs to take dramatic steps in these cutting-edge fields. Let's face it, the percentage of people over the age of 65 in Japan is already close to one in four! These people are just farting around, soaking up national resources, and playing golf. Golf! They cannot be allowed to simply go to pasture. No! They need to do their part to help save the Japanese as well. Only by recruiting the "housing challenged" and "stimulating" them to do their part, can Japan expect to see a reversal in its inexorable population decline.
All of the signs are bad and looking worse.
- Japan's population is in decline, likely to fall to 1950s levels in only 40 years, never mind 90 years from now.
- Japanese young people don't want to get married. (complete report from the Japanese government here – in Japanese)
- Japanese young people are not even that interested in sex.
What can be done to turn these trends around and save the Japanese from extinction? It's a desperate situation. If nothing is done, someone will be turning out the lights in vast areas of Japan in as little as 40 years.
Some agencies and individuals are trying to reverse this decline.
As I posted recently, the Yakuza (Japanese mafia) are doing their bit to encourage marriage. Baseball teams, private businesses, and even local governments have tried to get involved in konkatsu, promoting marriage. Of course, yours truly has tried to do his part, as you can read in the links above.
Despite these efforts the trend is bleak.
And then I read that the National Police Agency (NPA) is cracking down on marriages with foreigners, calling some of them "bogus" and suggesting that they may be "creating the infrastructure for a host of other criminal activities". "Other" criminal activities!
Are they kidding me?
This is no time to be cracking down on marriage! It's like poaching pandas! They should be encouraging this. These marriages could set a good example for other Japanese. A Japanese is getting married in these connections after all; how bad can that be?
Other steps must be taken to reverse these discouraging trends. While I have been active in promoting ideas in this regard (see links above), this is no time to rest on my laurels. I need to keep pushing for new and cutting edge concepts to reverse this course.
Fortunately, I keep abreast of scientific discoveries and happened upon this important information about women's eggs.
You CAN make tiny omelets out of them after all!
Ha! Ha! Just kidding ladies.
No, the research being done reveals that contrary to popular belief, women are not born with a finite number of eggs, but retain the stem cells to produce them throughout their lives. Men also can continue to produce viable sperm until a very advanced age, but the problem seems to be in the "housing" for these reproductive cells. You know... their bodies.
Putting this in easy-to-understand, layman's terms, imagine you are an egg stem cell. At first the up-market neighborhood where you live is lively, growing and full of energy. Naturally, you want to send new eggs out into this welcoming world to find their way and blossom to a better tomorrow. The new sperm models are out too!
But then, as time passes, the old neighborhood starts to fall into decline. Most of the neighbors are cranky, old coots and even some of the nearby houses turn into crack dens. Leering, geezer sperms prowl the streets looking for trouble. Would you want to send your innocent eggs out into a world like this? Of course not. So you plop down on the sofa with the windows barred and watch TV all day in your night gown.
What you don't realize, however, is that withdrawing like this is the very reason for the general decline in the neighborhood!
The same applies to sperm stem cells. After a period of feeling young, dapper and full of oats, they suddenly wake up from their priapic fantasies and see how much their neighborhood has gone downhill. Even the eggs they see hanging around are past their best-by dates. Depressed, they simply give up and wallow in binge drinking and sleeping on the floor with dogs. With dogs!
So scientists want to provide "incentives" for you – the egg or sperm stem cell – to get up off your fat butt, clean up and start sending eggs or sperm out into the world to unite against the challenges you may experience there!
This could reverse many of the symptoms of menopause or – since the experiments are done in mice – "mouseopause" as those forever funny scientists call it. Similar work can be done on men as well. Aging mice have basically been made young again with this cutting edge technology!
The Japanese government needs to get cracking. Along with developing housing for the evacuees from the tsunami and nuclear power plant accident, it also must work on stimulating the "housing" for the poor, reproductive stem cells. Certain proteins have proven to be successful in this effort, so Japan needs to take dramatic steps in these cutting-edge fields. Let's face it, the percentage of people over the age of 65 in Japan is already close to one in four! These people are just farting around, soaking up national resources, and playing golf. Golf! They cannot be allowed to simply go to pasture. No! They need to do their part to help save the Japanese as well. Only by recruiting the "housing challenged" and "stimulating" them to do their part, can Japan expect to see a reversal in its inexorable population decline.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Let's Make Babies!
It's been a couple of weeks of awful news and disaster after calamity, but we cannot forget the problems that have been put aside by the press. Of course, I am referring to the declining population in Japan.
I have mentioned this before – the herbivores and other men who are not interested in sex. But let's face it, those were top-of-the-news attractions with only weak data to support them.
A Hard Hitting News Hound does not stop with the superficial, the trivial explanations of social ills. No. A Hard Hitting News Hound digs and digs, deeper and deeper until the truth is excavated and everyone can see what is REALLY going on.
I am afraid that (despite the awful news of nuclear problems etc. etc.... yawn) I have discovered some really important developments in Japan's population crisis.
First, please check out this map. All of the links I put in here are meant to be looked at, so go ahead... don't be shy... check it out.
Yes, this does mean you.
Now what does this map show us? It shows us (in blueish tinges) where there are very low numbers of children.
What does this mean, you ask?
It means that there are not many children in those areas.
Duh?
(Some people are SO stupid... not you, of course.)
No... what you really want to know is why am I showing you this. Right?
OK. Take a look at this map.
On this map the reddish areas highlight the number of senior citizens. If you toggle back and forth, you can see immediately what I am talking about!
The more the seniors, the fewer the children!
Can you believe this? In a country that is SUFFERING from depopulation in many areas and as a nation too, some people are not living up to their national responsibilities.
Yes, I hate to be explicit, but sometimes an investigative reporter simply has to lay it all out and let the chips fall where they may.
Seniors are not having children!
Japan is a nation that survives on community effort. Look at the recovery going on right now! It is a nation where everyone knows his/her place and works to make that place the best ever. Everyone pulls his or her own weight.
But, look at these seniors. Data does not lie!
There they are, living in the comfort of their pensions, probably playing golf everyday and sitting around watching mind-numbing programs on TV while the population of Japan is decreasing.
Especially in their prefectures!
And what are THEY doing about it?
Nothing!
This is not an easy problem to solve. It will require a national effort. But seniors in their decrepitude need to be reminded that even though they are "retired", they still have responsibilities to the nation. The government needs to take steps immediately to encourage them to have more children and bring their prefectures up to national averages (at least!).
As a news watcher, I know that it is not easy for the government to take its eye off the important balls (har) that seem to be out of control right now, but over the long term, it still needs to address critical problems that will have long-range implications.
It might take serious investigative reporting like mine to provide a stimulus for the government to begin to take steps to resolve this critical problem.
I have mentioned this before – the herbivores and other men who are not interested in sex. But let's face it, those were top-of-the-news attractions with only weak data to support them.
A Hard Hitting News Hound does not stop with the superficial, the trivial explanations of social ills. No. A Hard Hitting News Hound digs and digs, deeper and deeper until the truth is excavated and everyone can see what is REALLY going on.
I am afraid that (despite the awful news of nuclear problems etc. etc.... yawn) I have discovered some really important developments in Japan's population crisis.
First, please check out this map. All of the links I put in here are meant to be looked at, so go ahead... don't be shy... check it out.
Yes, this does mean you.
Now what does this map show us? It shows us (in blueish tinges) where there are very low numbers of children.
What does this mean, you ask?
It means that there are not many children in those areas.
Duh?
(Some people are SO stupid... not you, of course.)
No... what you really want to know is why am I showing you this. Right?
OK. Take a look at this map.
On this map the reddish areas highlight the number of senior citizens. If you toggle back and forth, you can see immediately what I am talking about!
The more the seniors, the fewer the children!
Can you believe this? In a country that is SUFFERING from depopulation in many areas and as a nation too, some people are not living up to their national responsibilities.
Yes, I hate to be explicit, but sometimes an investigative reporter simply has to lay it all out and let the chips fall where they may.
Seniors are not having children!
Japan is a nation that survives on community effort. Look at the recovery going on right now! It is a nation where everyone knows his/her place and works to make that place the best ever. Everyone pulls his or her own weight.
But, look at these seniors. Data does not lie!
There they are, living in the comfort of their pensions, probably playing golf everyday and sitting around watching mind-numbing programs on TV while the population of Japan is decreasing.
Especially in their prefectures!
And what are THEY doing about it?
Nothing!
This is not an easy problem to solve. It will require a national effort. But seniors in their decrepitude need to be reminded that even though they are "retired", they still have responsibilities to the nation. The government needs to take steps immediately to encourage them to have more children and bring their prefectures up to national averages (at least!).
As a news watcher, I know that it is not easy for the government to take its eye off the important balls (har) that seem to be out of control right now, but over the long term, it still needs to address critical problems that will have long-range implications.
It might take serious investigative reporting like mine to provide a stimulus for the government to begin to take steps to resolve this critical problem.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Save The Japanese Part 2
Do you remember the angst that swept Japan several years ago when it was discovered that Japanese elementary school children were unable to sharpen their pencils with knives? That precious tradition had been lost, and parents (especially fathers who should get off their butts from in front of the TV and actually interact with their children once in a while!) should spend the time to teach their little ones this valuable cultural lesson. Well... not many fathers got around to it, and now the chickens have come home to roost.
Kyodo News
Friday, January 14
OMG! 1/3 of male teens averse or indifferent to sex
(actual headline in The Daily Yomiuri)
As reported here in an August post, time is running out on our chances to save the Japanese from extinction.
A recent survey done by the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare (no less!) has revealed that over 36% of boys between the ages of 16 and 19 are averse or indifferent to sex, more than double the results shown in a similar survey conducted in 2008. That's not all. The same survey revealed that 59% of girls shared their feelings, an uptick of 25%.
"So, what's the connection between pencil sharpening and sex," you ask?
A very pertinent question! In fact, I was preparing to answer it even before you asked.
Remember World War 2? Probably not. OK, let me rephrase that question. Have you read about WW 2 and how brave and tough Japanese were in fighting against the Americans in the Pacific? Does anyone think that your average Japanese – say – high school or college kid could behave like that today? Not in a million years. Why? It is because of the herbivore education that they receive! Of course they learn math and science, reading and writing, and always outscore Americans on any international tests on these subjects, but they miss out on the blood-and-guts, carnivorous parts of education, those parts that get Americans to say things like, "Shoot first, ask questions later," or post signs on their properties that say, "Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again." Why, 99.99% of Japanese have never even touched a gun, much less fired one.
Never mind guns; they have not even been taught to sharpen a pencil with a knife!
Such is the sad state of Japanese education – cranking out herbivores who have no interest in keeping the Japanese nation viable into the future. It has become even worse than the pandas who at least have zoos and other institutions, watching over them and forcing them to breed in captivity (by showing them panda porn and so on).
Drastic measures need to be taken if we are to keep the Japanese from going extinct. Already their population is slated to fall to around a third of its present level in less than 100 years!
What can we as concerned world citizens do? Have sex with a Japanese? Nuh uh. This will only dilute their Japanese gene pool and make them go extinct even more quickly. What we need to do is help in education. Write to the Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology in Japan and tell them that you are worried that Japanese are all becoming herbivores and that they should teach more "robust" subjects in schools: Small Animal Butchery in elementary school, for example, or Comparative Porn Around the World in high school classes. "Sports" such as Advanced Petting should be included in the curriculum. Moreover, a more active attitude towards encouraging male–female contact should be promoted. High schools and universities should be required to offer dances and other social events for students. The drinking age should be lowered to 16 as it is in many countries in Europe, and alcohol should be served at these social functions to break down the herbivore inhibitions.
Only through these drastic measures can the Japanese people be saved from going the way of the dinosaur.
Kyodo News
Friday, January 14
OMG! 1/3 of male teens averse or indifferent to sex
(actual headline in The Daily Yomiuri)
As reported here in an August post, time is running out on our chances to save the Japanese from extinction.
A recent survey done by the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare (no less!) has revealed that over 36% of boys between the ages of 16 and 19 are averse or indifferent to sex, more than double the results shown in a similar survey conducted in 2008. That's not all. The same survey revealed that 59% of girls shared their feelings, an uptick of 25%.
"So, what's the connection between pencil sharpening and sex," you ask?
A very pertinent question! In fact, I was preparing to answer it even before you asked.
Remember World War 2? Probably not. OK, let me rephrase that question. Have you read about WW 2 and how brave and tough Japanese were in fighting against the Americans in the Pacific? Does anyone think that your average Japanese – say – high school or college kid could behave like that today? Not in a million years. Why? It is because of the herbivore education that they receive! Of course they learn math and science, reading and writing, and always outscore Americans on any international tests on these subjects, but they miss out on the blood-and-guts, carnivorous parts of education, those parts that get Americans to say things like, "Shoot first, ask questions later," or post signs on their properties that say, "Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again." Why, 99.99% of Japanese have never even touched a gun, much less fired one.
Never mind guns; they have not even been taught to sharpen a pencil with a knife!
Such is the sad state of Japanese education – cranking out herbivores who have no interest in keeping the Japanese nation viable into the future. It has become even worse than the pandas who at least have zoos and other institutions, watching over them and forcing them to breed in captivity (by showing them panda porn and so on).
Drastic measures need to be taken if we are to keep the Japanese from going extinct. Already their population is slated to fall to around a third of its present level in less than 100 years!
What can we as concerned world citizens do? Have sex with a Japanese? Nuh uh. This will only dilute their Japanese gene pool and make them go extinct even more quickly. What we need to do is help in education. Write to the Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology in Japan and tell them that you are worried that Japanese are all becoming herbivores and that they should teach more "robust" subjects in schools: Small Animal Butchery in elementary school, for example, or Comparative Porn Around the World in high school classes. "Sports" such as Advanced Petting should be included in the curriculum. Moreover, a more active attitude towards encouraging male–female contact should be promoted. High schools and universities should be required to offer dances and other social events for students. The drinking age should be lowered to 16 as it is in many countries in Europe, and alcohol should be served at these social functions to break down the herbivore inhibitions.
Only through these drastic measures can the Japanese people be saved from going the way of the dinosaur.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Save the Japanese!
Forget the whales and the pandas, a much more urgent extinction is looming. The Japanese might disappear from the planet! Peaking in 2006 at 127,463,611 people (the world's 10th largest population), the Japanese population is "going over the falls" demographically for the foreseeable future.
Immediate steps must be taken to prevent this tragedy from happening and removing one of the more interesting families of humanity from our planet. Think of what might happen should the Japanese disappear forever from the face of the earth.
1. Who would drive the nerdy Otaku culture?
2. Think about anime! What would the world do without this important Japanese cultural contribution?
3. Sushi. (no more needs to be said)
4. What about maid coffee shops? How could we allow these to disappear from our planet?
To escape this desperate situation, the first step is obviously to identify where the actual problems lie. Perhaps some lessons can be learned from the other species that have gone to the edge of elimination?
In the case of the whales, over-hunting led them to the brink of extinction. Clearly this is not the issue with the Japanese. Very few people on the planet include Japanese as a part of their diets.
What about the pandas? Their problem stemmed from an inability to procreate effectively and a tendency to have too few offspring.
Bingo!
The Japanese also seem to display an aversion to having babies. The birthrate is among the lowest in the world. But is it only the birthrate? Apparently not! They also do not have sex. This is similar to the pandas.
What steps can we take now to prevent an international tragedy?
First we have to pinpoint the source of the problem. Let's be blunt here: the problem is the increasing numbers of "herbivore men". These "men" have little interest in women, seeing them as potential friends but not lovers. Interest in desserts, fashions, make-up and so on dominate their minds, so they have little time or energy to devote to the all important challenge of keeping the Japanese race alive.
What can be done?
The parallels with the giant pandas are uncanny. Like the herbivore men, the giant pandas show little interest in sex and clearly fail to appreciate the risk to their species that this lack of commitment to procreation produces. Pandas were induced to increase their interest in and consummation of sexual activity by showing panda porn to the bears in captivity. The Japanese government should take immediate steps to identify these herbivore men and put them in a controlled environment where they can be shown pornography films. The films need to be chosen with the herbivore mentality in mind: a game-like atmosphere and anime characters would be a good start, maybe a sub-theme involving desserts would be helpful.
This movement the save the Japanese cannot be left to the government alone, however. NGOs must also step in to support a truly global effort. Greenpeace and Sea Shepherd should stop wasting their time and money on whales (sheesh!) and redirect their commitment to this threat to one of the planet's most important attributes: the Japanese. Only with the help and support of everyone around the world can we turn this danger to a better advantage and Save the Japanese.
Immediate steps must be taken to prevent this tragedy from happening and removing one of the more interesting families of humanity from our planet. Think of what might happen should the Japanese disappear forever from the face of the earth.
1. Who would drive the nerdy Otaku culture?
2. Think about anime! What would the world do without this important Japanese cultural contribution?
3. Sushi. (no more needs to be said)
4. What about maid coffee shops? How could we allow these to disappear from our planet?
To escape this desperate situation, the first step is obviously to identify where the actual problems lie. Perhaps some lessons can be learned from the other species that have gone to the edge of elimination?
In the case of the whales, over-hunting led them to the brink of extinction. Clearly this is not the issue with the Japanese. Very few people on the planet include Japanese as a part of their diets.
What about the pandas? Their problem stemmed from an inability to procreate effectively and a tendency to have too few offspring.
Bingo!
The Japanese also seem to display an aversion to having babies. The birthrate is among the lowest in the world. But is it only the birthrate? Apparently not! They also do not have sex. This is similar to the pandas.
What steps can we take now to prevent an international tragedy?
First we have to pinpoint the source of the problem. Let's be blunt here: the problem is the increasing numbers of "herbivore men". These "men" have little interest in women, seeing them as potential friends but not lovers. Interest in desserts, fashions, make-up and so on dominate their minds, so they have little time or energy to devote to the all important challenge of keeping the Japanese race alive.
What can be done?
The parallels with the giant pandas are uncanny. Like the herbivore men, the giant pandas show little interest in sex and clearly fail to appreciate the risk to their species that this lack of commitment to procreation produces. Pandas were induced to increase their interest in and consummation of sexual activity by showing panda porn to the bears in captivity. The Japanese government should take immediate steps to identify these herbivore men and put them in a controlled environment where they can be shown pornography films. The films need to be chosen with the herbivore mentality in mind: a game-like atmosphere and anime characters would be a good start, maybe a sub-theme involving desserts would be helpful.
This movement the save the Japanese cannot be left to the government alone, however. NGOs must also step in to support a truly global effort. Greenpeace and Sea Shepherd should stop wasting their time and money on whales (sheesh!) and redirect their commitment to this threat to one of the planet's most important attributes: the Japanese. Only with the help and support of everyone around the world can we turn this danger to a better advantage and Save the Japanese.
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