It's been a couple of weeks of awful news and disaster after calamity, but we cannot forget the problems that have been put aside by the press. Of course, I am referring to the declining population in Japan.
I have mentioned this before – the herbivores and other men who are not interested in sex. But let's face it, those were top-of-the-news attractions with only weak data to support them.
A Hard Hitting News Hound does not stop with the superficial, the trivial explanations of social ills. No. A Hard Hitting News Hound digs and digs, deeper and deeper until the truth is excavated and everyone can see what is REALLY going on.
I am afraid that (despite the awful news of nuclear problems etc. etc.... yawn) I have discovered some really important developments in Japan's population crisis.
First, please check out this map. All of the links I put in here are meant to be looked at, so go ahead... don't be shy... check it out.
Yes, this does mean you.
Now what does this map show us? It shows us (in blueish tinges) where there are very low numbers of children.
What does this mean, you ask?
It means that there are not many children in those areas.
Duh?
(Some people are SO stupid... not you, of course.)
No... what you really want to know is why am I showing you this. Right?
OK. Take a look at this map.
On this map the reddish areas highlight the number of senior citizens. If you toggle back and forth, you can see immediately what I am talking about!
The more the seniors, the fewer the children!
Can you believe this? In a country that is SUFFERING from depopulation in many areas and as a nation too, some people are not living up to their national responsibilities.
Yes, I hate to be explicit, but sometimes an investigative reporter simply has to lay it all out and let the chips fall where they may.
Seniors are not having children!
Japan is a nation that survives on community effort. Look at the recovery going on right now! It is a nation where everyone knows his/her place and works to make that place the best ever. Everyone pulls his or her own weight.
But, look at these seniors. Data does not lie!
There they are, living in the comfort of their pensions, probably playing golf everyday and sitting around watching mind-numbing programs on TV while the population of Japan is decreasing.
Especially in their prefectures!
And what are THEY doing about it?
Nothing!
This is not an easy problem to solve. It will require a national effort. But seniors in their decrepitude need to be reminded that even though they are "retired", they still have responsibilities to the nation. The government needs to take steps immediately to encourage them to have more children and bring their prefectures up to national averages (at least!).
As a news watcher, I know that it is not easy for the government to take its eye off the important balls (har) that seem to be out of control right now, but over the long term, it still needs to address critical problems that will have long-range implications.
It might take serious investigative reporting like mine to provide a stimulus for the government to begin to take steps to resolve this critical problem.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
FaceBook Brings Us Together
As the crisis of earthquake and tsunami plays out in the news, we can see it reflected in the touching human contact on Facebook. I would like to quote a thread (with some editing and name deletion) to show you how warm these exchanges can be.
We start with one person's post about the safety of another.
M: My friend, W, is safe! I just heard from him!
R: That's good news! Calls for a celebration. Let's drink!!!
M: Yes, a big beer!
C: I am so glad to hear this news! I am opening a bottle of wine right now!
D: I contacted my friend too!
M: This calls for more beer!
C: And another bottle of wine!
J: If there ever was a day for beer, it's today...
K: Woo hoo! Cheers all!
M: I think I will switch to wine!
C: That's great, M! I will open another wine!
J: dhissh for go out? Mped beer...
D: I am definitely celebrating tonight. Opening a bottle of champagne right now!
C: OMG! If ever there was a time to party, this is it! I am opening another wine for sure – as soon as I finish the last of this bottle!!!
F: Sounds like a party! I am joining in. Shaking the martinis right now!!
J: goch foosh... cheshing frish for beer...
M: Hey, this shiraz is really good! You guys should try this one! It's ___ Shiraz!
C: I found a bottle under my bed!!! I am opening it right now!!
K: Woo hoo!! Hoot! Hoot! Cheersh!
D: My friend is coming over!! She was in Tokyo all this time! She's bringing some wine!
C: That is so great, D!! OMG!! This shiraz IS good!
J: yoush guysh high? plff.... shnaxs... mior beer....
And so on, sharing the warmth of human contact across the wide distances that separate us.
Hmm... maybe I should open something too... cheers all! Love ya!
We start with one person's post about the safety of another.
M: My friend, W, is safe! I just heard from him!
R: That's good news! Calls for a celebration. Let's drink!!!
M: Yes, a big beer!
C: I am so glad to hear this news! I am opening a bottle of wine right now!
D: I contacted my friend too!
M: This calls for more beer!
C: And another bottle of wine!
J: If there ever was a day for beer, it's today...
K: Woo hoo! Cheers all!
M: I think I will switch to wine!
C: That's great, M! I will open another wine!
J: dhissh for go out? Mped beer...
D: I am definitely celebrating tonight. Opening a bottle of champagne right now!
C: OMG! If ever there was a time to party, this is it! I am opening another wine for sure – as soon as I finish the last of this bottle!!!
F: Sounds like a party! I am joining in. Shaking the martinis right now!!
J: goch foosh... cheshing frish for beer...
M: Hey, this shiraz is really good! You guys should try this one! It's ___ Shiraz!
C: I found a bottle under my bed!!! I am opening it right now!!
K: Woo hoo!! Hoot! Hoot! Cheersh!
D: My friend is coming over!! She was in Tokyo all this time! She's bringing some wine!
C: That is so great, D!! OMG!! This shiraz IS good!
J: yoush guysh high? plff.... shnaxs... mior beer....
And so on, sharing the warmth of human contact across the wide distances that separate us.
Hmm... maybe I should open something too... cheers all! Love ya!
Monday, March 14, 2011
The Earthquake and Tsunami
It's impossible to generate any levity with the constant stream of horrific video and news from the east coast of Japan. The death toll will almost certainly rise to the many thousands.
We are reminded of how precious a secure house, hot food, and clean drinking water are, and of our personal luck of not now living in Sendai where we lived for 8 years not so long ago. The area where we rented an old house, Wakabayashi, was the hardest hit by the tsunami. Friends are still there and we anxiously wait for word of their safety.
We are also reminded of how the luxury of life's essentials that we enjoy today hang by a thread and remain at the constant mercy of our unsettled and often unsettling planet.
I will post donation access points on FaceBook as soon as possible. Right now all the trustworthy sites (Japan Red Cross etc.) are still not set up to receive donations from English-speaking sources and others (Yahoo!, Goo, etc.) require registration in Japanese. If you read Japanese, I encourage you to search on your own and let me know if you find an easy-to-access point for foreign donations.
Take care everyone.
We are reminded of how precious a secure house, hot food, and clean drinking water are, and of our personal luck of not now living in Sendai where we lived for 8 years not so long ago. The area where we rented an old house, Wakabayashi, was the hardest hit by the tsunami. Friends are still there and we anxiously wait for word of their safety.
We are also reminded of how the luxury of life's essentials that we enjoy today hang by a thread and remain at the constant mercy of our unsettled and often unsettling planet.
I will post donation access points on FaceBook as soon as possible. Right now all the trustworthy sites (Japan Red Cross etc.) are still not set up to receive donations from English-speaking sources and others (Yahoo!, Goo, etc.) require registration in Japanese. If you read Japanese, I encourage you to search on your own and let me know if you find an easy-to-access point for foreign donations.
Take care everyone.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Japan's Earthquake and Tsunami
I think I would trust this donation path:
http://www.tuaw.com/2011/03/13/apple-now-accepts-donations-to-red-cross-japan-relief-fund-via-i/
More later
http://www.tuaw.com/2011/03/13/apple-now-accepts-donations-to-red-cross-japan-relief-fund-via-i/
More later
Monday, March 7, 2011
Let's English the Diet!
Once again another Japanese Prime Minister hangs by a thread. Prime Minister Kan is the 5th Prime Minister to grace the national political summit in the last 4 and a half years. His party does not have an outright majority and thus depends on the participation of small but irritatingly picky, lesser parties for its survival.
Critical issues of national importance, such as the US bases in Okinawa, the huge national debt, declining birthrates, and whether the pandas brought from China will mate, have tied his brief administration in knots. He flounders, looking for salvation from the heated questioning and challenges to the smooth and decisive leadership he wishes to portray.
What can he do?
The answer is so obvious, one can only wonder why he hasn't implemented it already.
He should change the language of the Japanese Parliament (the Diet) to English!
There is ample precedent for such a move. Starting with Nissan Motors under Carlos Ghosn who insisted that management meetings be conducted in English as early as 2001, other firms such as online sales company Rakuten and the major clothing retailer, Uniqlo, have followed suit, requiring all their meetings to be conducted in English. Tough love; but those who cannot learn the language adequately can simply pack their bags and leave.
Switching to English in the Diet would be a win-win situation! As anyone who has taught English in Japan can tell you, there is no faster way to reduce the buzz of conversation and the asking of questions than to require that it be done in English. Debate in the Diet would be reduced to a trickle and all the background shouting would fade to a Zen-like calm.
In addition, the Prime Minister's commitment to the use of English would demonstrate real support for the English language programs his Ministry of Education (and a bunch of other departments, so that it's acronym is MEXT) is foisting off on the nation's elementary schools. The relatively new layer of entrance exam testing it has imposed on the nation's high school grads would also assume a novel luster.
Of course there would be the naysayers, those simpletons who would stand up and make the specious argument that Japanese politics should be discussed in Japanese. But the Prime Minister could demonstrate his charisma by walking to the mike and saying, "Sit down and shut up!" Now that would put those pesky upstarts from the other parties in their places! Let's weaponize the English!
The Prime Minister IS in dire need of some image burnishing, unfortunately. Video of his visit with President Obama last September made him look like he needed a new diaper, what with all the nervous out-of-sync smiling and wiggle-butting in the chair. A dramatic, new endeavor such as this would drag his approval ratings out of the cellar where they are now and into living rooms across the nation where everyone could watch the debates on NHK (Japanese public broadcasting). At least with the discussions in English, the public would have an excuse not to understand what is going on.
Critical issues of national importance, such as the US bases in Okinawa, the huge national debt, declining birthrates, and whether the pandas brought from China will mate, have tied his brief administration in knots. He flounders, looking for salvation from the heated questioning and challenges to the smooth and decisive leadership he wishes to portray.
What can he do?
The answer is so obvious, one can only wonder why he hasn't implemented it already.
He should change the language of the Japanese Parliament (the Diet) to English!
There is ample precedent for such a move. Starting with Nissan Motors under Carlos Ghosn who insisted that management meetings be conducted in English as early as 2001, other firms such as online sales company Rakuten and the major clothing retailer, Uniqlo, have followed suit, requiring all their meetings to be conducted in English. Tough love; but those who cannot learn the language adequately can simply pack their bags and leave.
Switching to English in the Diet would be a win-win situation! As anyone who has taught English in Japan can tell you, there is no faster way to reduce the buzz of conversation and the asking of questions than to require that it be done in English. Debate in the Diet would be reduced to a trickle and all the background shouting would fade to a Zen-like calm.
In addition, the Prime Minister's commitment to the use of English would demonstrate real support for the English language programs his Ministry of Education (and a bunch of other departments, so that it's acronym is MEXT) is foisting off on the nation's elementary schools. The relatively new layer of entrance exam testing it has imposed on the nation's high school grads would also assume a novel luster.
Of course there would be the naysayers, those simpletons who would stand up and make the specious argument that Japanese politics should be discussed in Japanese. But the Prime Minister could demonstrate his charisma by walking to the mike and saying, "Sit down and shut up!" Now that would put those pesky upstarts from the other parties in their places! Let's weaponize the English!
The Prime Minister IS in dire need of some image burnishing, unfortunately. Video of his visit with President Obama last September made him look like he needed a new diaper, what with all the nervous out-of-sync smiling and wiggle-butting in the chair. A dramatic, new endeavor such as this would drag his approval ratings out of the cellar where they are now and into living rooms across the nation where everyone could watch the debates on NHK (Japanese public broadcasting). At least with the discussions in English, the public would have an excuse not to understand what is going on.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Wailing Whalers
Japanese research whalers have been chased from the Antarctic by the radical whale-protection group Sea Shepherd. They did not make their planned quota of whales and return with a bare 172 of the planned 900 whales aboard. Giving up on whaling this year has been big news in Japan, so – of course – a Hard Hitting News Hound like me needed to go out and get some "on the scene" material to report to you.
I was able to get an interview with a former captain of one of the whaling ships, a person who keeps in close contact with his crew and their new captain and who remains in a position of influence in the Japanese whaling community.
HHNH (Hard Hitting News Hound): Thank you for meeting with me Capt. Chinbotsu.
Capt. Chinbotsu: My pleasure. I am always happy to explain the importance of Japanese whaling to the foreign media.
HHNH: Well... to start, what do you think about these recent developments that are bringing the Japanese whaling fleet home early.
CC: I think it's a travesty. We were planning to harvest 900 whales and now they are on their way home with only 172. What are the restaurants around here to do?!
HHNH: I thought the whaling was for research purposes not to serve in restaurants.
CC: Yes... yes, of course. Research is the main goal.
HHNH: Just out of curiosity, what are some of the results of this research?
CC: It has been very productive! We now know, for example, that whales eat krill and fish!
HHNH: No way! Now that is news that I think everyone will be interested to hear. Who would have guessed that whales would be eating fish? I mean... in the sea? Truly an amazing finding!
CC: (beaming) Yes, we have definitely pushed back the frontiers of knowledge when it comes to whales.
HHNH: What about the harvested whales? Can you tell me a little about what happens to them?
CC: Of course we eat them.
HHNH: You personally?
CC: Oh no... not me. I grew up on beef, and I have to say that whale meat tastes a little fishy on account of their diet. But we try to serve it in specialty restaurants and to school children for lunches.
HHNH: And how was that received?
CC: Well... unfortunately the restaurants are not doing so well, and the kids didn't really care for it. We have a large frozen stockpile and the price has fallen. My dog loves it, though!
HHNH: Then why is the whaling necessary?
CC: It is a part of traditional Japanese culture! We Japanese have always been whalers and losing this important aspect of our culture would be just another step down the slippery slope of cultural decline.
HHNH: But... er... the traditional whaling was done to feed the people, but now it seems the people don't want to eat whales anymore. And aren't there really only four small communities that are involved in whaling?
CC: That's exactly my point! If we do not catch whales and feed them to the Japanese people, we will lose touch with this important part of Japanese culture! It is absolutely vital that we continue whaling! The four whaling communities are all that is left of this wonderful tradition. It's critical that we persist in whaling to keep this valuable cultural asset alive.
HHNH: So now that the whaling fleet is coming back to Japan with a greatly reduced catch, what will Japanese whalers do to keep up this important tradition?
CC: Yes, as it turns out, we have found that the southern Gulf coast of the United States may have a large number of whales. We will be sending our whaling fleet there next summer to continue our important research.
HHNH: That is exciting news! Well... all the best in your next hunt!
CC: It was a pleasure talking to you.
I was able to get an interview with a former captain of one of the whaling ships, a person who keeps in close contact with his crew and their new captain and who remains in a position of influence in the Japanese whaling community.
HHNH (Hard Hitting News Hound): Thank you for meeting with me Capt. Chinbotsu.
Capt. Chinbotsu: My pleasure. I am always happy to explain the importance of Japanese whaling to the foreign media.
HHNH: Well... to start, what do you think about these recent developments that are bringing the Japanese whaling fleet home early.
CC: I think it's a travesty. We were planning to harvest 900 whales and now they are on their way home with only 172. What are the restaurants around here to do?!
HHNH: I thought the whaling was for research purposes not to serve in restaurants.
CC: Yes... yes, of course. Research is the main goal.
HHNH: Just out of curiosity, what are some of the results of this research?
CC: It has been very productive! We now know, for example, that whales eat krill and fish!
HHNH: No way! Now that is news that I think everyone will be interested to hear. Who would have guessed that whales would be eating fish? I mean... in the sea? Truly an amazing finding!
CC: (beaming) Yes, we have definitely pushed back the frontiers of knowledge when it comes to whales.
HHNH: What about the harvested whales? Can you tell me a little about what happens to them?
CC: Of course we eat them.
HHNH: You personally?
CC: Oh no... not me. I grew up on beef, and I have to say that whale meat tastes a little fishy on account of their diet. But we try to serve it in specialty restaurants and to school children for lunches.
HHNH: And how was that received?
CC: Well... unfortunately the restaurants are not doing so well, and the kids didn't really care for it. We have a large frozen stockpile and the price has fallen. My dog loves it, though!
HHNH: Then why is the whaling necessary?
CC: It is a part of traditional Japanese culture! We Japanese have always been whalers and losing this important aspect of our culture would be just another step down the slippery slope of cultural decline.
HHNH: But... er... the traditional whaling was done to feed the people, but now it seems the people don't want to eat whales anymore. And aren't there really only four small communities that are involved in whaling?
CC: That's exactly my point! If we do not catch whales and feed them to the Japanese people, we will lose touch with this important part of Japanese culture! It is absolutely vital that we continue whaling! The four whaling communities are all that is left of this wonderful tradition. It's critical that we persist in whaling to keep this valuable cultural asset alive.
HHNH: So now that the whaling fleet is coming back to Japan with a greatly reduced catch, what will Japanese whalers do to keep up this important tradition?
CC: Yes, as it turns out, we have found that the southern Gulf coast of the United States may have a large number of whales. We will be sending our whaling fleet there next summer to continue our important research.
HHNH: That is exciting news! Well... all the best in your next hunt!
CC: It was a pleasure talking to you.
Monday, February 21, 2011
The Police Count Their Blessings
The National Police Agency has just released its latest data on the number of motorcycle gang members in Japan. We should all be relieved to hear that the number has fallen below 10,000 for the first time since the NPA started collecting data in 1975. The new low is 9,064 members!
So you can imagine how a Hard Hitting News Hound like me would take that. I needed to get to the bottom of this dramatic change in the number of motorcycle gang members.
There just happens to be a place near here where motorcycle gang members race around a large parking lot. They buzz and up and down local streets on their unmuffled motorcycles and make the whole neighborhood's property values go down. So I went out just the other night to find out what the police were doing to cause this dramatic decline in gang membership. As I arrived at the parking lot, the gang members were racing around in small circles, revving their engines and screeching tire tracks all over the pavement. Other people in the parking lot were clearly intimidated and as cars pulled away, the gang members would weave around them threateningly.
I saw two police officers standing between two orange traffic cones in the corner of the parking lot, so I ambled over (trying to make myself inconspicuous to the motorcycle gangs) and talked with them.
HHNH (Hard Hitting News Hound): Good evening officers.
Officer Senpai: Good evening. Could you stand behind the yellow line please? You are very large and I can't see over you.
HHNH: (noticing the yellow line of tape between the two cones on the pavement for the first time) Oh! Of course, sorry... um... what exactly are you doing, may I ask?
Office Senpai: We are counting the gang members. Officer Yarisugi! Did you get those three? Three of them riding with no helmets on that one bike. Do you see them?
Officer Yarisugi: (clicking his people-counter furiously) Yes, Officer Senpai, I got them!
Officer Senpai: How about that one over there, racing his bike around that elderly couple coming out of the store?
Officer Yarisugi: You mean the one with the orange hair, drinking beer and the girl riding backwards on his bike?
Officer Senpai: No, the other guy over there, riding no hands and doing wheelies.
Officer Yarisugi: Oh! I missed him! Thanks!
HHNH: Um... they seem a little dangerous. Shouldn't you be arresting them for traffic and other violations?
Officer Senpai: Of course not! (he looks at me like I am insane) We need to get a sense of the problem first. Did you know that there are 9,064 motorcycle gang members in the country today? What if there were 9,067 or 9,062?! Arresting them would be out of the question. We wouldn't know things like how many beds to make up or box lunches to buy when they are being held before trial. It's important to find out just how many there are first, and THEN we can consider measures to solve the problems they present.
Officer Yarisugi! Did you see those two? The woman is sitting backwards on the bike and holding the whiskey bottle?
Officer Yarisugi: Over there? Yes, I got them. (he continued clicking)
HHNH: But... look at how they are disturbing the peace and harassing those poor elderly people. Look! They snatched the old woman's purse!
Officer Senpai: You just don't understand, do you!
Foreigners!
Like I said, we need to know how many of them there are in each and every district. This is around the WHOLE country, you know! Of course – as you can see (waving his hand in the direction of several bikes, racing each other in a tight circle around a family car) – they are mobile. Do you realize how HARD that makes it for US?! We spend HOURS each day going out and COUNTING, WRITING up reports, CALLING other districts in this prefecture, TABULATING the results and POSTING them to National Police Headquarters. (sighing) It's a lot of work!
Officer Yarisugi: (sighing heavily too) Officer Senpai? Do you see those three on the motorcycle over there? Is that the same three as before?
Office Senpai: No, none of the first three was wearing a helmet, but you can see that the woman riding on the very back has a helmet looped around her neck.
Officer Yarisugi: I will count them. (click, click, click)
HHNH: So when will you get around to cracking down on them?
Officer Senpai: As soon as we get a clear picture of their numbers. You think this is EASY?! We have been doing this without letup since 1975! I mean, this year there are 9,064 members, but since they drive dangerously and get into accidents, that number could be different even as early as tomorrow!
Officer Yarisugi: (click click)
Officer Senpai: Keeping track of them is a full-time responsibility (he squared his shoulders to assume the grave responsibility).
HHNH: So basically what you are saying is the reason the numbers have declined is because they kill themselves in accidents?
Officer Senpai: Absolutely! This could be a self-solving social problem.
HHNH: But what about the damage they do in the meantime and others who they involve in their accidents?
Officer Senpai: You laymen don't understand police work. As the numbers go down – and they ARE going down EVERY year! – the number of accidents and other problems they cause will also go down!
Officer Yarisugi: (click click click)
HHNH: I see... clearly I am not up on how these social ills progress. Do you think the fewer numbers might have something to do with the reduced numbers of young people in general?
Officer Senpai: What ARE you talking about?! It's due to diligent police work!
Officer Yarisugi: Oh DAMN!
Did you see that?!
Officer Senpai: What?!
That guy doing the wheelie ran at full speed into the retaining wall and flew 20 meters, impaling himself on that lamp post!
Now what do we do?!
Officer Senpai: I will make a note on my pad here to subtract one point from tonight's tally.
HHNH: Thank you for the information.
Officer Senpai: Glad to be of help. Please be careful when walking back to your car and don't forget to use your seatbelt. Safety is a number one priority!
Officer Yarisugi: (click click)
So you can imagine how a Hard Hitting News Hound like me would take that. I needed to get to the bottom of this dramatic change in the number of motorcycle gang members.
There just happens to be a place near here where motorcycle gang members race around a large parking lot. They buzz and up and down local streets on their unmuffled motorcycles and make the whole neighborhood's property values go down. So I went out just the other night to find out what the police were doing to cause this dramatic decline in gang membership. As I arrived at the parking lot, the gang members were racing around in small circles, revving their engines and screeching tire tracks all over the pavement. Other people in the parking lot were clearly intimidated and as cars pulled away, the gang members would weave around them threateningly.
I saw two police officers standing between two orange traffic cones in the corner of the parking lot, so I ambled over (trying to make myself inconspicuous to the motorcycle gangs) and talked with them.
HHNH (Hard Hitting News Hound): Good evening officers.
Officer Senpai: Good evening. Could you stand behind the yellow line please? You are very large and I can't see over you.
HHNH: (noticing the yellow line of tape between the two cones on the pavement for the first time) Oh! Of course, sorry... um... what exactly are you doing, may I ask?
Office Senpai: We are counting the gang members. Officer Yarisugi! Did you get those three? Three of them riding with no helmets on that one bike. Do you see them?
Officer Yarisugi: (clicking his people-counter furiously) Yes, Officer Senpai, I got them!
Officer Senpai: How about that one over there, racing his bike around that elderly couple coming out of the store?
Officer Yarisugi: You mean the one with the orange hair, drinking beer and the girl riding backwards on his bike?
Officer Senpai: No, the other guy over there, riding no hands and doing wheelies.
Officer Yarisugi: Oh! I missed him! Thanks!
HHNH: Um... they seem a little dangerous. Shouldn't you be arresting them for traffic and other violations?
Officer Senpai: Of course not! (he looks at me like I am insane) We need to get a sense of the problem first. Did you know that there are 9,064 motorcycle gang members in the country today? What if there were 9,067 or 9,062?! Arresting them would be out of the question. We wouldn't know things like how many beds to make up or box lunches to buy when they are being held before trial. It's important to find out just how many there are first, and THEN we can consider measures to solve the problems they present.
Officer Yarisugi! Did you see those two? The woman is sitting backwards on the bike and holding the whiskey bottle?
Officer Yarisugi: Over there? Yes, I got them. (he continued clicking)
HHNH: But... look at how they are disturbing the peace and harassing those poor elderly people. Look! They snatched the old woman's purse!
Officer Senpai: You just don't understand, do you!
Foreigners!
Like I said, we need to know how many of them there are in each and every district. This is around the WHOLE country, you know! Of course – as you can see (waving his hand in the direction of several bikes, racing each other in a tight circle around a family car) – they are mobile. Do you realize how HARD that makes it for US?! We spend HOURS each day going out and COUNTING, WRITING up reports, CALLING other districts in this prefecture, TABULATING the results and POSTING them to National Police Headquarters. (sighing) It's a lot of work!
Officer Yarisugi: (sighing heavily too) Officer Senpai? Do you see those three on the motorcycle over there? Is that the same three as before?
Office Senpai: No, none of the first three was wearing a helmet, but you can see that the woman riding on the very back has a helmet looped around her neck.
Officer Yarisugi: I will count them. (click, click, click)
HHNH: So when will you get around to cracking down on them?
Officer Senpai: As soon as we get a clear picture of their numbers. You think this is EASY?! We have been doing this without letup since 1975! I mean, this year there are 9,064 members, but since they drive dangerously and get into accidents, that number could be different even as early as tomorrow!
Officer Yarisugi: (click click)
Officer Senpai: Keeping track of them is a full-time responsibility (he squared his shoulders to assume the grave responsibility).
HHNH: So basically what you are saying is the reason the numbers have declined is because they kill themselves in accidents?
Officer Senpai: Absolutely! This could be a self-solving social problem.
HHNH: But what about the damage they do in the meantime and others who they involve in their accidents?
Officer Senpai: You laymen don't understand police work. As the numbers go down – and they ARE going down EVERY year! – the number of accidents and other problems they cause will also go down!
Officer Yarisugi: (click click click)
HHNH: I see... clearly I am not up on how these social ills progress. Do you think the fewer numbers might have something to do with the reduced numbers of young people in general?
Officer Senpai: What ARE you talking about?! It's due to diligent police work!
Officer Yarisugi: Oh DAMN!
Did you see that?!
Officer Senpai: What?!
That guy doing the wheelie ran at full speed into the retaining wall and flew 20 meters, impaling himself on that lamp post!
Now what do we do?!
Officer Senpai: I will make a note on my pad here to subtract one point from tonight's tally.
HHNH: Thank you for the information.
Officer Senpai: Glad to be of help. Please be careful when walking back to your car and don't forget to use your seatbelt. Safety is a number one priority!
Officer Yarisugi: (click click)
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