North Korea Scoop!

Pterosaurish, living on the edge in the world of international intrigue and conspiracy, has received through clandestine sources the transcript of the meeting in which North Korean leader Kim Jong Il's son was elevated to "Young General", and made successor to Kim Jong Il in the seat of power. Here it is unedited in its entirety.
Jang Song taek (#2 man)
Hyon Chol-hae (top general)
Kim Kyong-hui (Kim Jong Il's sister)
Ri Yong-ho (top general)
Paek Sang-ho (3-Star general)
Kim Jong-Un (Kim Jong Il's son)

Kim Jong Il (KJI): OK... I have brought all of you here today to confirm what we discussed in the last meeting that my son here – Kim Jong-Un – will succeed me in power after I die.
General Hyon: How will we do this? Nobody knows anything about him.
KJI: First we will promote him to 4-Star General and have someone write a song about him.
Jang (#2 man): He has no military experience at all. I wonder what the army will think of this.
Gen. Paek (3-Star Gen): I can tell you that *I don't like the idea of him being promoted ahead of me! Look at all these medals on my uniform! He doesn't even have ONE medal! I should be promoted to 4-Star General and he to 3-Star General.
Gen. Hyon: Yes, I can understand your frustration, but this is only to make a name for the "Young General" so that he can succeed Dear Leader.
KJI: Yes, he would not have actual operational power in the army, Gen. Paek. He would simply be able to sit on the podium with you. Also, we need to give him some medals for his uniform too.
Kim Jong-Un (the son): I want lots of medals! I want a nice uniform too, one that makes me look slimmer. Do they have any uniforms with vertical stripes on the pants and sleeves? Vertical stripes have a slimming effect. And I want my medals to be big and shiny too. Maybe 8 rows of them? Also if the medals could be long and thin, they would...
KJI: Would you shut up! Enough of that stuff already!
Gen. Paek: If he gets more medals than I have, I will not accept his promotion at all!
KJI: Son? Take your thumb out of your mouth and stop that pouting. You cannot be a Young General and do that sort of thing.
Kim Kyong-hui (KJI's sister): All I can think of is how I used to grab Jong-un's chubby little cheeks when he was a boy. My how he has grown up... but I *still want to grab those chubby cheeks!
Jong-un: My cheeks are NOT chubby! Daddy! Tell her to stop saying my cheeks are chubby! I am NOT fat.
KJI: Sis! Will you lay off the boy!
And, Jong-un! I won't tell you again, you need to stop sucking your thumb like that!
Jong-un: But she said I was fat!
Gen. Hyon: This is ridiculous! We cannot make this spoiled, fat blob a 4-Star General in our Army!
Jong-un: I am NOT a fat blob! Stop calling me fat!
KJI: OK! OK! Can we at least decide on one thing? Let's call him "Young General"! We can work out the rank later. I will have him sit on the podium at the up-coming mass games and parade.
Gen. Paek: If he wears a uniform with medals, *I for one am NOT coming!
KJI: Jong-un! Sticking out your tongue at Gen. Paek is not helping at all! (audible sigh) OK... no uniform. Gen. Ri? You will sit between us on the podium.
Jong-un: I want some medals.
KJI: No medals this time, Jong-un. Is all this OK with you, Jang?
Jang: Yes. I think it will be fine to start out this way. We don't want to overdo it at first just in case the "Young General" doesn't work out.
KJI: What do you mean by that? Jong-un! How many times do I have to tell you about the thumb sucking!
Jang: Well, Dear Leader, after you are gone, the Young General might feel that he would rather do other things... you know... like go to Disneyland like his older brother tried to do.
KJI: Enough of that talk! Jong-un WILL succeed me! We will meet again after the mass games and parade to discuss this further. And don't mention Oldest Son to me again!
Jong-un: Next time I want a uniform with vertical stripes and lots of medals!
(audible crying... assumed to be Kim Jong Il.)