Today we need to confront a serious issue. Now and then we have to quit with the yuck-yucks and face the fact that life is a weighty business and requires a sober attitude.
What could be more serious than suicide?
In a 2010 compilation of international data, Japan ranked number 7 on the world list of national suicide rates with 24.75 suicides per 100,000 people, right up there with clearly depressed countries like Russia. The US (with many more obvious problems), on the other hand, had less than half that many and was ranked 35th – behind even gently peaceful New Zealand! What could possibly account for this huge discrepancy? In the US, guns are widely available and for those who want to kill themselves, no other method is as effective. Japan, on the other hand, prohibits most of the "easy" ways of killing oneself, leaving only the throwing one's body off of things (high buildings, train platforms, etc.) as one of the popular options.
A Hard Hitting News Hound does not simply read news reports and then pour another cup of coffee and turn to the funnies. No! A Hard Hitting News Hound needs to get to the bottom of the important issues of the day to report on them, revealing the truth, no matter where the truth may lie. Intensely curious, I pondered the issue of Japanese suicides and wondered what might be the breakdown by prefecture. Perhaps some pattern would reveal itself, and we could use the information to take steps to cure this social ill. As it turns out, the top 5 prefectures for suicide in Japan are: in the number 5 position, Niigata (where I live), at number 4, Shimane, 3 is Iwate Prefecture, the runner up prize goes to Aomori, and claiming the top spot is Akita.
What do these prefectures have in common?
Some reporters would undoubtedly stop with the obvious and draw glib conclusions based on inadequate research. "Their weather is uniformly bad." Or, "they all have depressed, rural economies with rapidly declining and aging populations".
That's easy to say.
But a Hard Hitting News Hound is not satisfied with the superficial analysis that so often takes top billing in the papers and on the internet. That's what Fox News is for.
Far from it. The trivial poses no distraction to the inveterate researcher. I dug deeper. What about the other end of the spectrum? What about the prefectures with the fewest self-inflicted fatalities? Kanagawa prefecture and others right around the Tokyo area are the lowest in suicide rates.
What could account for this phenomenon? Is it the excitement of city life that makes people want to hang around longer? If so, how could you explain Hokkaido which is also relatively low in suicides? Further probing revealed the answer. These prefectures have the most Kentucky Fried Chicken outlets! The prefectures with the highest suicide rates generally have very few KFC restaurants. The US, by comparison probably has more KFC outlets per population than any developed country, helping to keep our suicide rates under control. There is something in the spices or in the chomping of crispy fried chicken that dispels black thoughts. Speaking personally, I know that MY spirits go up whenever I make fried chicken. Clearly national health policy should focus on reducing the rates of suicide in these areas by encouraging the Colonel to spread his influence to every depressed neighborhood and area. And now that I am thinking about it... maybe I will make some fried chicken for dinner tonight.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Sex and the Single Homo sapiens
Caught up in the social networking of the 21st century, we forget how different dating and meeting potential partners was in earlier years. 600 years ago, for example, children of nobility were offered as marriage partners in order to cement diplomatic and political relations despite the fact that they were still toddlers. Marriages were made across cultural and language barriers all the time. No regard was paid to the trouble the newly weds would have with communication or vastly different customs.
In even earlier times, it must have been much harder. In fact, we now know that early humans crossed the species barrier in their search for mates. When you consider how strongly some people insist on their children marrying someone of the same race or creed today, it must have been remarkable to have to go so far to find a mate for your child.
Scenario
Mom (to son): So Bobo (I don't know any prehistoric names; they are prehistoric, after all, so you will need to use your imagination here and bear with me.), who are you taking to the prom this year?
Bobo: I can't get anyone to go to the prom with me. Everyone says I am ugly and stupid.
Mom: Oh, Bobo. You're not ugly! All you need to do is comb your hair so that it covers your eyebrows. Nobody will notice that you don't have much of a forehead. Here... let me do it for you... there! See? It completely covers that narrow gap!
Who have you asked?
Bobo: I asked Meemee (Bear with me, OK?!).
Mom: Hmm. And even SHE didn't want to go out with you?
Bobo: No.
Mom: What about one of those girls from the school across the river?
Bobo: But Mommm! They are not even human!
Mom: Well... they're close enough. Some of them even walk upright! And I noticed a couple of them handling tools as well.
Bobo: Aww Mom! I can't go to the prom with one of them! What would my friends say?
Mom: What friends? Surely you can find a cute one to take?
Bobo: I don't know... (he kicks the sand at his feet, raising a small cloud of dust)
Mom: You need to be more aggressive, Bobo. A nice girl is not just going to fall into your lap. Here... while you are thinking about it. Go get some water from the river.
Bobo: Yes, Mom.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the river...
Mom: So Shela (Is that better?), who are you going to go to the prom with this year?
Shela: Aww Mom. I don't want to go to the prom. All the boys are such jerks.
Mom: What about Gugu, that nice boy from the cave in the valley?
Shela: Are you kidding? Nice? Mom! He drools and is the stupidest boy in my flint class.
Mom: Hmm... so what are you planning to do? This is your senior year, so I am sure you don't want to miss out on going to your last prom!
Shela: I don't know. (she kicks the sand around at her feet, raising a small cloud of dust)
Mom: I know! Why don't you go with one of those humans across the river? Some of them are pretty cute and I think they are smart too.
Shela: I wouldn't mind, but how will I get their attention? They are so stuck up over there with their furs across their cave mouths.
Mom: Maybe we could go along the river for a walk and get one of them to notice you.
Shela: You think? When would be a good time?
Mom: Let's go now and see.
So they stroll down to the river and just as they come to the edge of the water, they see Bobo dipping his gourd into the stream. He looks up and his eyes meet Shela's. The species gap is bridged as they see something in each other's look that draws them inexorably together. This is probably how bridges were invented too.
And thus modern humans came to be – made of the connections of thousands and thousands of years and millions upon millions of humans and other species. But for the courage and willingness to cross the species line, we would be diminished today. We can also be happy that our ancestors intermingling was all with other Homo-types. Imagine how different we would be if they had been "doing it" with goats!
Indeed, in some countries, like China, today there are too many males and not enough females. Instead of whining about the problem, the men should take a lesson from our human past and think more broadly about their prospective mates. Some of the Orangutans can be pretty cute. All we need to do is set them up on Facebook and China's marriage-deficit problem is solved!
In even earlier times, it must have been much harder. In fact, we now know that early humans crossed the species barrier in their search for mates. When you consider how strongly some people insist on their children marrying someone of the same race or creed today, it must have been remarkable to have to go so far to find a mate for your child.
Scenario
Mom (to son): So Bobo (I don't know any prehistoric names; they are prehistoric, after all, so you will need to use your imagination here and bear with me.), who are you taking to the prom this year?
Bobo: I can't get anyone to go to the prom with me. Everyone says I am ugly and stupid.
Mom: Oh, Bobo. You're not ugly! All you need to do is comb your hair so that it covers your eyebrows. Nobody will notice that you don't have much of a forehead. Here... let me do it for you... there! See? It completely covers that narrow gap!
Who have you asked?
Bobo: I asked Meemee (Bear with me, OK?!).
Mom: Hmm. And even SHE didn't want to go out with you?
Bobo: No.
Mom: What about one of those girls from the school across the river?
Bobo: But Mommm! They are not even human!
Mom: Well... they're close enough. Some of them even walk upright! And I noticed a couple of them handling tools as well.
Bobo: Aww Mom! I can't go to the prom with one of them! What would my friends say?
Mom: What friends? Surely you can find a cute one to take?
Bobo: I don't know... (he kicks the sand at his feet, raising a small cloud of dust)
Mom: You need to be more aggressive, Bobo. A nice girl is not just going to fall into your lap. Here... while you are thinking about it. Go get some water from the river.
Bobo: Yes, Mom.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the river...
Mom: So Shela (Is that better?), who are you going to go to the prom with this year?
Shela: Aww Mom. I don't want to go to the prom. All the boys are such jerks.
Mom: What about Gugu, that nice boy from the cave in the valley?
Shela: Are you kidding? Nice? Mom! He drools and is the stupidest boy in my flint class.
Mom: Hmm... so what are you planning to do? This is your senior year, so I am sure you don't want to miss out on going to your last prom!
Shela: I don't know. (she kicks the sand around at her feet, raising a small cloud of dust)
Mom: I know! Why don't you go with one of those humans across the river? Some of them are pretty cute and I think they are smart too.
Shela: I wouldn't mind, but how will I get their attention? They are so stuck up over there with their furs across their cave mouths.
Mom: Maybe we could go along the river for a walk and get one of them to notice you.
Shela: You think? When would be a good time?
Mom: Let's go now and see.
So they stroll down to the river and just as they come to the edge of the water, they see Bobo dipping his gourd into the stream. He looks up and his eyes meet Shela's. The species gap is bridged as they see something in each other's look that draws them inexorably together. This is probably how bridges were invented too.
And thus modern humans came to be – made of the connections of thousands and thousands of years and millions upon millions of humans and other species. But for the courage and willingness to cross the species line, we would be diminished today. We can also be happy that our ancestors intermingling was all with other Homo-types. Imagine how different we would be if they had been "doing it" with goats!
Indeed, in some countries, like China, today there are too many males and not enough females. Instead of whining about the problem, the men should take a lesson from our human past and think more broadly about their prospective mates. Some of the Orangutans can be pretty cute. All we need to do is set them up on Facebook and China's marriage-deficit problem is solved!
Monday, September 12, 2011
Fossil Flatulence
I know I have been intolerant and ranted here about creationism and the people who believe in that theory, but recently I have come around to thinking that they may have a point. I admit that I might have been hasty in my criticism and also too quick to make fun of them and their ideas. I should be more thoughtful and weigh the evidence carefully before rushing to judgement.
One of the ideas that creationists bandy about in tandem with the "young Earth theory" is that global warming is not due to human activity. Since they believe that dinosaurs and humans occupied our planet at the same time, clearly they might be right.
One of the most potent greenhouse gases is methane, a gas found in flatulence. Humans (with the exception of a few people I know) do not generally produce all that much of this gas. The occasional hiss and squeak in faculty meetings, for example, could not possibly create more than a few cubic centimeters of global warming gases even if the meeting goes on for hours and Prof. K. is in attendance. A jumbo-jet full of gassy seat cushions would not equal the output of even one cow.
It is a well-known fact that flatulence and burps from cows contribute to global warming, but in a world that is only about 6000 years old, this can only be a minor factor. On the other hand, dinosaurs must have been around with humans AND cows for a long time in the early years of our planet, even surviving the flood of Noah's ark fame. A large cow, weighing in at about one ton, is estimated to produce about 1000 liters of heat-trapping methane and other gases per day!
Dinosaurs, on the other hand, could be as large as 50 or even 100 tons!
Tyrannosaurus Rex, for example, weighed in at about 7 tons. It's diet consisted largely of meat which it consumed in large gulps without proper chewing. Not chewing your food thoroughly can result in flatulence and other bowel problems such as Irritable Bowel Syndrome. For T-Rex this ill-mannered way of eating necessarily put a lot of the food-processing responsibility on its digestive tract, resulting in copious amounts of greenhouse gases being vented into the atmosphere. The IBS must also have put it in a cranky mood. The appearance of a cranky and gassy T-Rex must have been a real scare for the people of the time!
Consider also a large plant eating dinosaur such as a sauropod which could weigh as much as 100 large cows and probably produce 100 times as much gas! Imagine, one animal spewing out 100,000 liters of gas a day! It would be eligible for membership in OPEC. The sauropods are thought to have traveled in vast herds, much like cattle today, eating enormous amounts of vegetation (probably becoming real pests for people and their farms) and farting up a storm. Clearly their flatulence would have been a much more potent influence on global warming, not to mention the dangers of having them around open campfires where humans were trying to cook their food. A passing herd and its accompanying cloud of gas could result in a phenomenon not unlike a fuel-air explosive. I am surprised we have not found large scorched areas in the sedimentary record, but maybe they remain to be discovered by scientific investigators from the creation science organizations.
As ancient records show, the dinosaurs disappeared from the planet before recorded history. There are pictures of crocodiles in Egyptian art, for example; they were even considered gods, but none of T-Rex. So we know that the dinosaurs were gone before humans learned to write and draw. There are no cave drawings of the dinosaurs either. We can be relieved, therefore, to know that the global warming that was accelerated by their various gases will also drop off in the years ahead. Unless, of course, too many humans like Prof. K. come to inhabit our small, blue world.
One of the ideas that creationists bandy about in tandem with the "young Earth theory" is that global warming is not due to human activity. Since they believe that dinosaurs and humans occupied our planet at the same time, clearly they might be right.
One of the most potent greenhouse gases is methane, a gas found in flatulence. Humans (with the exception of a few people I know) do not generally produce all that much of this gas. The occasional hiss and squeak in faculty meetings, for example, could not possibly create more than a few cubic centimeters of global warming gases even if the meeting goes on for hours and Prof. K. is in attendance. A jumbo-jet full of gassy seat cushions would not equal the output of even one cow.
It is a well-known fact that flatulence and burps from cows contribute to global warming, but in a world that is only about 6000 years old, this can only be a minor factor. On the other hand, dinosaurs must have been around with humans AND cows for a long time in the early years of our planet, even surviving the flood of Noah's ark fame. A large cow, weighing in at about one ton, is estimated to produce about 1000 liters of heat-trapping methane and other gases per day!
Dinosaurs, on the other hand, could be as large as 50 or even 100 tons!
Tyrannosaurus Rex, for example, weighed in at about 7 tons. It's diet consisted largely of meat which it consumed in large gulps without proper chewing. Not chewing your food thoroughly can result in flatulence and other bowel problems such as Irritable Bowel Syndrome. For T-Rex this ill-mannered way of eating necessarily put a lot of the food-processing responsibility on its digestive tract, resulting in copious amounts of greenhouse gases being vented into the atmosphere. The IBS must also have put it in a cranky mood. The appearance of a cranky and gassy T-Rex must have been a real scare for the people of the time!
Consider also a large plant eating dinosaur such as a sauropod which could weigh as much as 100 large cows and probably produce 100 times as much gas! Imagine, one animal spewing out 100,000 liters of gas a day! It would be eligible for membership in OPEC. The sauropods are thought to have traveled in vast herds, much like cattle today, eating enormous amounts of vegetation (probably becoming real pests for people and their farms) and farting up a storm. Clearly their flatulence would have been a much more potent influence on global warming, not to mention the dangers of having them around open campfires where humans were trying to cook their food. A passing herd and its accompanying cloud of gas could result in a phenomenon not unlike a fuel-air explosive. I am surprised we have not found large scorched areas in the sedimentary record, but maybe they remain to be discovered by scientific investigators from the creation science organizations.
As ancient records show, the dinosaurs disappeared from the planet before recorded history. There are pictures of crocodiles in Egyptian art, for example; they were even considered gods, but none of T-Rex. So we know that the dinosaurs were gone before humans learned to write and draw. There are no cave drawings of the dinosaurs either. We can be relieved, therefore, to know that the global warming that was accelerated by their various gases will also drop off in the years ahead. Unless, of course, too many humans like Prof. K. come to inhabit our small, blue world.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Labor Day
Today is Labor Day in the US, so in respect for those who are laboring and/or in labor or even in the Labour Party, I will also take the day off rather than belabor everyone with some quickly whipped up nonsense.
Cheers!
Cheers!
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