In this day of increasingly aging populations and demographic downturns, societies look for ways to enhance the lives of their citizens, hoping to make them longer and healthier. We have discussed senior mental health in these posts on a number of occasions, and I want to post helpful links to all of them here, but I think I deleted my list or maybe left it in the freezer or somewhere*.
While I have discussed how to deal with temporary memory loss and what to avoid in your daily life that makes you appear to be senile or even dead, I have not really talked much about the cutting edge research that is going on with slime molds.
Now, I know what you are thinking. "What does slime mold have to do with our aging minds and memory loss?!"
That is an excellent thought, and I suggest for starters that you write it down before you forget it. Write it on something large like a coffee table, so that you will not inadvertently put it through the wash or leave it in the oven.
While you are jotting that down, let me continue to explain about this cutting edge research. Humans have big brains and in addition to being highly intelligent as shown by results of the Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale (WAIS), they also have excellent abilities to think about the future and dwell on the past. In other words, our temporal awareness is very advanced. Cats, on the other hand, while having brains very similar to our own, score very low on the WAIS test mostly due to lack of interest and general lethargy. Holding the pencil also proved challenging. But through persistent research, scientists have come to the conclusion that cats have only about a 16-hour working memory. This seems to indicate that brain size itself may correlate well with memory.
Imagine the shock then amongst scientists when they discovered that something that does not actually HAVE a brain nevertheless still has memory. Slime molds are very low on the evolutionary ladder and do not actually have a brain. But they CAN remember where they have been! This may seem like a pathetically simple process, but when you consider how many people you have seen wandering around in mall parking lots looking for their cars, you can see that remembering where you have been is indeed an important mental skill.
So how do the slime molds do it? Apparently they leave a trail of slime, their slime, behind them as they move, marking the routes they have taken. The trail of slime allows them to determine what – if anything – is at its end. If there is the sugar placed there by the scientists, they will "remember" that and follow the trail back to their reward.
How does this apply to us?
It is a well-known fact that human tissues can be cultivated on animals, so the ability to manipulate genetic material is already well established. What needs to be done to solve senior memory problems is the reverse. Genetic material from creatures who remember without brains needs to be transferred to humans to enable us to "get around" our mental problems and access other ways of remembering where our car is, for example. The ability to leave a slime trail back to your car would be incredibly beneficial to many seniors who go to great lengths to make their cars conspicuous (think flags, ribbons and even small teddy bears on the aerial) but then exit the mall on the wrong side and wander around for hours in the hot sun.
I know what you are thinking again. "But humans don't make slime, silly!"
Except for the "silly" part, your point is well taken. Indeed, humans do not make slime. However, we often DO carry around a lot of excess weight in the form of blubber. Through the wonder of genetic engineering, this blubber could easily be converted to slime which could ooze from – say – the pores in our lower legs, leaving a trail back to the car in the parking lot. This would not only empower us to "remember" important things even though our brains were aging, but it would also enable us to "burn off" those excess calories – truly a win-win situation.
- - - - - - - - - -
*I found the list in my hand!
Mental-Health Tips for Seniors
Five Ways Not to be Dead
Forever Young
Across the Event Boundary Backwards
Dieting Made Easy
Voice-Activate Your Memory Chips
Your Second Wind
Pussies Riot and Seniors Snooze
The Brain Bane of Memory
Monday, October 29, 2012
Monday, October 22, 2012
Families of Biblical Proportion
I want to extend to all you Earthlings a special greeting on the founding of your planet. According to the best researched creationist "science", October 22 at 6 AM (GMT) in the year 4004 BC, the world was created in all its glory. So, Happy Birthday Earth! For being only 6016 years old, you don't look a day over 5000!
. . . . . . . . . .
And, while we are on the topic of the Bible (where, for you laypeople, the creationist theory comes from), I would like to say that an old friend told me that I should read the Bible more! So, I did. And this is what I stumbled upon.
. . . . . . . . . .
We are all delighted to know that the CEO of the Chick-Fil-A restaurant chain supports "Biblical families." Naturally, when a civic and business leader such as Dan Cathy speaks out, simple laypeople such as myself have to find out what he is talking about, so that we too can come to an understanding of what Biblical "family values" he is promoting.
Take Abraham, for example. He is a central figure in the Bible. What were his family values like?
First of all, Abraham makes his wife, Sarai, tell a lie, claiming she is his sister, so that when the Pharaoh takes her into his harem he won't kill Abraham as a side effect (she was really hot). The Pharaoh discovers the lie, however, and gives her back and sends the two of them on their way. (Genesis 12) – no punishment from God. In other words, it's OK to prostitute out your wife if you are afraid of the consequences of not doing so.
But that's not all.
In Genesis 16, Abraham "goes into" Hagar, his wife's maid, and she conceived. Sarai was not pleased and expelled the maid from the house.
I bet you are thinking, "Naughty, naughty Abraham", aren't you?
Don't be silly!
This is one of those Biblical "family values" the restaurant CEO is supporting!
Of course, Abraham was not the only one.
In Genesis 19, Lot's daughters conspired to "lie with" their father in the cave where they had escaped to. They got him drunk the first night and the older daughter "lay with" him, and then the second night, they got him drunk again and the younger daughter "lay with" him.
Both conceived from this "laying".
Right!
Any man on the planet will tell you that if you are so drunk you don't have ANY idea who is "laying" with you (especially if she is your daughter), you are also "laying-impaired", if you get my drift.
This story shows more Biblical family values that provide important guidelines for us to take home and ponder in our hearts.
Apparently, Abraham was not the only one with a "maid-thing". In Genesis 29, Jacob (another prominent Biblical icon) is deceived by his father-in-law Laban. Wanting Laban's daughter Rachel, he agrees to marry her and "goes into her" on their wedding night. But the morning after, he discovers it is not Rachel at all, but her sister, Leah!
How bad is THAT?! He "went into her" and all but didn't know it was somebody else. The Biblical figures obviously were vision impaired at key moments.
Complaining to his father-in-law about the deception, Laban asks that Jacob continue his efforts with Leah for one week, after which Laban will give him Rachel too. But alas, Rachel was barren, so she told Jacob (lucky guy) to "go into" her maid, Bilhah, who later bore him a son.
Leah – not to be outdone by her sister, Rachel – decided to step up to the plate in the competition and invited Jacob to "go into" HER maid, Zilpah, as well.
The lesson in Biblical family values we can learn here is that hiring a maid is an important first step towards true holiness. You need to go to your wife and say, "Hi Honey! You know, I was just thinking that you work too hard around the house here. Why don't we hire a maid?!" I am sure, supporting Biblical values as you do, your wife will be delighted and even touched by your considerate approach.
Or how about the story of Judah and Tamar, his daughter-in-law, in Genesis 38. Judah insisted that Tamar remain a widow after her husband was killed (by God). But Tamar took off her widow's garments and covered her face with a veil. Apparently this was enough to convince her father-in-law that she was a "harlot", and he had no alternative but to "go into her" in exchange for a "kid from his flock" and his "signet, bracelets and staff".
Naturally, she conceived as a result.
This case and Lot's case above clearly show that for men, being easily deceived is a key Biblical value. There is nothing like a veil to make it impossible to tell who someone is. Getting drunk is also a good excuse.
The Bible provides us with other important social information about values as well. In Deuteronomy 21, for example, the Israelites are advised that if they have two wives who each bear a son, husbands should not favor the son of the second-born even if they hate the wife who gave birth to the first-born.
The moral here is that having two wives is OK, but don't take out your hostilities towards one of them on the children they bear you.
It truly is a vital and personally meaningful exercise to find out what the Biblical values are in "Biblical families". Reading these passages makes me realize just how un-Biblical I have been! I need to reform my ways and get right with God! The maid thing sounds like a good place to begin.
. . . . . . . . . .
And, while we are on the topic of the Bible (where, for you laypeople, the creationist theory comes from), I would like to say that an old friend told me that I should read the Bible more! So, I did. And this is what I stumbled upon.
. . . . . . . . . .
We are all delighted to know that the CEO of the Chick-Fil-A restaurant chain supports "Biblical families." Naturally, when a civic and business leader such as Dan Cathy speaks out, simple laypeople such as myself have to find out what he is talking about, so that we too can come to an understanding of what Biblical "family values" he is promoting.
Take Abraham, for example. He is a central figure in the Bible. What were his family values like?
First of all, Abraham makes his wife, Sarai, tell a lie, claiming she is his sister, so that when the Pharaoh takes her into his harem he won't kill Abraham as a side effect (she was really hot). The Pharaoh discovers the lie, however, and gives her back and sends the two of them on their way. (Genesis 12) – no punishment from God. In other words, it's OK to prostitute out your wife if you are afraid of the consequences of not doing so.
But that's not all.
In Genesis 16, Abraham "goes into" Hagar, his wife's maid, and she conceived. Sarai was not pleased and expelled the maid from the house.
I bet you are thinking, "Naughty, naughty Abraham", aren't you?
Don't be silly!
This is one of those Biblical "family values" the restaurant CEO is supporting!
Of course, Abraham was not the only one.
In Genesis 19, Lot's daughters conspired to "lie with" their father in the cave where they had escaped to. They got him drunk the first night and the older daughter "lay with" him, and then the second night, they got him drunk again and the younger daughter "lay with" him.
Both conceived from this "laying".
Right!
Any man on the planet will tell you that if you are so drunk you don't have ANY idea who is "laying" with you (especially if she is your daughter), you are also "laying-impaired", if you get my drift.
This story shows more Biblical family values that provide important guidelines for us to take home and ponder in our hearts.
Apparently, Abraham was not the only one with a "maid-thing". In Genesis 29, Jacob (another prominent Biblical icon) is deceived by his father-in-law Laban. Wanting Laban's daughter Rachel, he agrees to marry her and "goes into her" on their wedding night. But the morning after, he discovers it is not Rachel at all, but her sister, Leah!
How bad is THAT?! He "went into her" and all but didn't know it was somebody else. The Biblical figures obviously were vision impaired at key moments.
Complaining to his father-in-law about the deception, Laban asks that Jacob continue his efforts with Leah for one week, after which Laban will give him Rachel too. But alas, Rachel was barren, so she told Jacob (lucky guy) to "go into" her maid, Bilhah, who later bore him a son.
Leah – not to be outdone by her sister, Rachel – decided to step up to the plate in the competition and invited Jacob to "go into" HER maid, Zilpah, as well.
The lesson in Biblical family values we can learn here is that hiring a maid is an important first step towards true holiness. You need to go to your wife and say, "Hi Honey! You know, I was just thinking that you work too hard around the house here. Why don't we hire a maid?!" I am sure, supporting Biblical values as you do, your wife will be delighted and even touched by your considerate approach.
Or how about the story of Judah and Tamar, his daughter-in-law, in Genesis 38. Judah insisted that Tamar remain a widow after her husband was killed (by God). But Tamar took off her widow's garments and covered her face with a veil. Apparently this was enough to convince her father-in-law that she was a "harlot", and he had no alternative but to "go into her" in exchange for a "kid from his flock" and his "signet, bracelets and staff".
Naturally, she conceived as a result.
This case and Lot's case above clearly show that for men, being easily deceived is a key Biblical value. There is nothing like a veil to make it impossible to tell who someone is. Getting drunk is also a good excuse.
The Bible provides us with other important social information about values as well. In Deuteronomy 21, for example, the Israelites are advised that if they have two wives who each bear a son, husbands should not favor the son of the second-born even if they hate the wife who gave birth to the first-born.
The moral here is that having two wives is OK, but don't take out your hostilities towards one of them on the children they bear you.
It truly is a vital and personally meaningful exercise to find out what the Biblical values are in "Biblical families". Reading these passages makes me realize just how un-Biblical I have been! I need to reform my ways and get right with God! The maid thing sounds like a good place to begin.
Monday, October 15, 2012
The Brain Bane of Memory
One of the predicaments that plagues us seniors is memory failure. I have written about this in previous posts, offering advice and palliative solutions to this difficult problem. But what we really need is an all-out effort to deal with this condition once and for all – to go for a cure.
We tend to think of sleep as a time of rest. Our bodies relax and our minds dream randomly, maybe making some interesting associations that we can discuss with our therapist. So I was surprised to read recently that our brains try to remember things not only when we are wide awake, but also while we are sleeping. Important research done at UCLA has demonstrated that one of the activities our brains engage in while sleeping is trying to remember stuff (in addition to wondering whether we should get up to pee even though the floor is cold or just try to hold it until morning). It's like our brains don't get enough of this during our waking hours. They need to sort memories out and file them away in their proper niches without us being around to confuse them with worries about where we left the car keys (in the fridge, duh?).
What I am concerned about here is that as we age, obviously our brains get less able to handle new information or even process the material that is already in there. So while you are sleeping, your brain is busy at work picking up memories, looking at the zip codes, and because they forgot their reading glasses, filing them in the wrong slot. When you are awake, these little glitches have a bad enough effect, but during the day, your brain is engaged in many other activities, such as driving the car, making you scream at the slow-motion moron in front of you, and then later, helping you spend an hour trying to find your car in the mall parking lot. It just does not have much time to devote to this memory-sorting process.
When you are sleeping, however, it has about eight hours of uninterrupted time to make a complete mess of things in there!
Think about this.
Remember Governor Perry of Texas during the Republican primary debates and his famous inability to remember the third item on his list of three government agencies he would close? Apparently he had a sleep disorder that caused this lapse. The Governor is only 62 years old; it's probably unlikely that he is suffering from early-onset dementia. What really happened was that after he fell asleep at night, his brain would get active in there and start remembering stuff and filing things in their proper places, but he interrupted the process.
It went something like this:
Perry Brain: OK... gotta sort things out here... lessee... three departments of government... need to put them in the GONE slot... Commerce... ok! ... Education... ok! ... and...
The governor woke up suddenly due to his sleep disorder, and his poor brain put the Energy Department into the fridge.
When we get even older, the brain might confuse these things on its own, so a clear solution to the problem is to train your brain while you sleep. You need to keep it on its toes or it might doze off at the wheel in there. This can be done through carefully implemented aroma therapy. Smells are well-known for their ability to stimulate memories. Stimulating your brain while you sleep by making it register nice smells and bad odors will not only help it to sort your memories properly but also give you a mechanism for triggering them again once you are awake!
It's a win-win solution.
Forget where you left your car keys? Just sniff that herbal shampoo and bingo, you will know immediately to look in the fridge. Can't remember that song that you loved when you were in college? Smell that rotten fish and presto, you will have it stuck in your head all day.
Only by taking active steps to keep our brains awake and functioning properly in our sleeping heads can we be assured that our active hours won't be plagued by forgetfulness. To paraphrase an old proverb, For the want of a memory, a Presidency was lost.
We tend to think of sleep as a time of rest. Our bodies relax and our minds dream randomly, maybe making some interesting associations that we can discuss with our therapist. So I was surprised to read recently that our brains try to remember things not only when we are wide awake, but also while we are sleeping. Important research done at UCLA has demonstrated that one of the activities our brains engage in while sleeping is trying to remember stuff (in addition to wondering whether we should get up to pee even though the floor is cold or just try to hold it until morning). It's like our brains don't get enough of this during our waking hours. They need to sort memories out and file them away in their proper niches without us being around to confuse them with worries about where we left the car keys (in the fridge, duh?).
What I am concerned about here is that as we age, obviously our brains get less able to handle new information or even process the material that is already in there. So while you are sleeping, your brain is busy at work picking up memories, looking at the zip codes, and because they forgot their reading glasses, filing them in the wrong slot. When you are awake, these little glitches have a bad enough effect, but during the day, your brain is engaged in many other activities, such as driving the car, making you scream at the slow-motion moron in front of you, and then later, helping you spend an hour trying to find your car in the mall parking lot. It just does not have much time to devote to this memory-sorting process.
When you are sleeping, however, it has about eight hours of uninterrupted time to make a complete mess of things in there!
Think about this.
Remember Governor Perry of Texas during the Republican primary debates and his famous inability to remember the third item on his list of three government agencies he would close? Apparently he had a sleep disorder that caused this lapse. The Governor is only 62 years old; it's probably unlikely that he is suffering from early-onset dementia. What really happened was that after he fell asleep at night, his brain would get active in there and start remembering stuff and filing things in their proper places, but he interrupted the process.
It went something like this:
Perry Brain: OK... gotta sort things out here... lessee... three departments of government... need to put them in the GONE slot... Commerce... ok! ... Education... ok! ... and...
The governor woke up suddenly due to his sleep disorder, and his poor brain put the Energy Department into the fridge.
When we get even older, the brain might confuse these things on its own, so a clear solution to the problem is to train your brain while you sleep. You need to keep it on its toes or it might doze off at the wheel in there. This can be done through carefully implemented aroma therapy. Smells are well-known for their ability to stimulate memories. Stimulating your brain while you sleep by making it register nice smells and bad odors will not only help it to sort your memories properly but also give you a mechanism for triggering them again once you are awake!
It's a win-win solution.
Forget where you left your car keys? Just sniff that herbal shampoo and bingo, you will know immediately to look in the fridge. Can't remember that song that you loved when you were in college? Smell that rotten fish and presto, you will have it stuck in your head all day.
Only by taking active steps to keep our brains awake and functioning properly in our sleeping heads can we be assured that our active hours won't be plagued by forgetfulness. To paraphrase an old proverb, For the want of a memory, a Presidency was lost.
Monday, October 8, 2012
China Wants More Pie
I am sure that most of you have been following the back-and-forth over the Senkaku or Diaoyu Islands that are claimed by Japan, Taiwan and China. In addition, the Chinese have been having disputes with Southeast Asian nations over the South China Sea. Vietnam and the Philippines claim islands and territorial limits at sea in those areas which are close to their lands, but China says the whole of the sea is an inherent territory of China.
Of course this position by a Great Power wannabe is intriguing, so yours truly – Hard Hitting News Hound – obtained an interview with a representative of the Chinese government.
Due to the interview ground rules, I am not able to reveal his name, except to say that he is a "high ranking cadre" in the State Council of the People's Republic of China.
I will call him Zhang.
HHNH (me): Thank you so much for agreeing to this interview, Mr. Zhang.
Zhang: It is my pleasure.
HHNH: I am interested in China's claims to islands south of Japan. What is your country's position about those islands.
Z: They are an inalienable part of Chinese territory.
HHNH: Taiwan also claims them; how do you feel about that?
Z: Taiwan is also an integral part of China, so its claim is merely an extension of our own. In any case, the whole Ryukyu Island archipelago was a part of the great Ming Dynasty, so Japan's claim even to Okinawa is dubious.
HHNH: What about the South China Sea? How can China claim areas that are clearly much closer to neighboring Southeast Asian nations such as Vietnam, Malaysia, or the Philippines.
Z: These areas have been part of China for hundreds of years. Our legitimate claim is based on historical fact.
HHNH: But the James Shoal, for example, is only 80 km from Malaysia but 1800 km from the nearest Chinese mainland.
Z: What are you talking about? That IS Chinese territory. Our claims are based on historical reality! They don't call it the South Malaysia Sea, do they? (He pulls a cigarette out of a package on his desk and furiously taps it on the arm of his chair.)
HHNH: But what about those islands that are so close to Vietnam? Surely they would be part of Vietnam, wouldn't they?
Z: Nonsense! Complete nonsense. Those islands belong to the People's Republic of China. In fact, Vietnam itself was once part of China during the Ming Dynasty, so we claim it too.
HHNH: I suppose the same applies to Tibet?
Z: Of course! Tibet was never an independent country. It has ALWAYS been an integral part of China from time immemorial! (He lights his cigarette and waves it around.)
HHNH: What other claims does China make to adjacent territories?
Z: You Westerners don't know much about history, do you? China traditionally ruled over what is now Korea as well.
HHNH: Korea?! But that is an independent country.
Z: Well, due to American imperialism, half of Korea has remained separated from us, but we Chinese can never forget that during the Yuen Dynasty it was a contiguous part of China.
HHNH: But wait a minute, wasn't the Yuen Dynasty a Mongolian dynasty?
Z: They became Chinese. And so we also claim Mongolia and parts of Russia that traditionally were included in the Yuen Empire.
HHNH: But the Mongolians controlled most of Central Asia at one time....
Z: Exactly, and once we resolve these pesky issues with Japan and the Southeast Asian countries, we will turn our attention to Central Asia. After all, all of those lands west of Xinjiang Province were once part of the great Chinese Tang Dynasty! (He emphasizes "Chinese" with a puff of smoke.)
HHNH: Your country doesn't have any claims in North America, does it?
Z: We are exploring evidence that Chinese settlers may have come to the Western Hemisphere before the Europeans. One of your Western authors has written a book about this. Of course, we would not expel all the Europeans who are there now, but I believe we must work out a resource-sharing agreement with them and divide the lands equitably.
HHNH: Is there ANY part of the World that China cannot lay claim to?
Z: We have no historical connection to Chad. (He stubs out his cigarette emphatically.) By the way, I notice that you were born in China, Mr. Pterosaurish.
HHNH: Er... yes? Does China want to claim me too?
Z: (His uproarious laugh ends in a rasping cough.) No... no, Mr. Pterosaurish. Trust me... we don't want you... no way... (cough cough cough).
HHNH: Thank you for your time, Mr. Zhang.
Z: It was my pleasure.
Of course this position by a Great Power wannabe is intriguing, so yours truly – Hard Hitting News Hound – obtained an interview with a representative of the Chinese government.
Due to the interview ground rules, I am not able to reveal his name, except to say that he is a "high ranking cadre" in the State Council of the People's Republic of China.
I will call him Zhang.
HHNH (me): Thank you so much for agreeing to this interview, Mr. Zhang.
Zhang: It is my pleasure.
HHNH: I am interested in China's claims to islands south of Japan. What is your country's position about those islands.
Z: They are an inalienable part of Chinese territory.
HHNH: Taiwan also claims them; how do you feel about that?
Z: Taiwan is also an integral part of China, so its claim is merely an extension of our own. In any case, the whole Ryukyu Island archipelago was a part of the great Ming Dynasty, so Japan's claim even to Okinawa is dubious.
HHNH: What about the South China Sea? How can China claim areas that are clearly much closer to neighboring Southeast Asian nations such as Vietnam, Malaysia, or the Philippines.
Z: These areas have been part of China for hundreds of years. Our legitimate claim is based on historical fact.
HHNH: But the James Shoal, for example, is only 80 km from Malaysia but 1800 km from the nearest Chinese mainland.
Z: What are you talking about? That IS Chinese territory. Our claims are based on historical reality! They don't call it the South Malaysia Sea, do they? (He pulls a cigarette out of a package on his desk and furiously taps it on the arm of his chair.)
HHNH: But what about those islands that are so close to Vietnam? Surely they would be part of Vietnam, wouldn't they?
Z: Nonsense! Complete nonsense. Those islands belong to the People's Republic of China. In fact, Vietnam itself was once part of China during the Ming Dynasty, so we claim it too.
HHNH: I suppose the same applies to Tibet?
Z: Of course! Tibet was never an independent country. It has ALWAYS been an integral part of China from time immemorial! (He lights his cigarette and waves it around.)
HHNH: What other claims does China make to adjacent territories?
Z: You Westerners don't know much about history, do you? China traditionally ruled over what is now Korea as well.
HHNH: Korea?! But that is an independent country.
Z: Well, due to American imperialism, half of Korea has remained separated from us, but we Chinese can never forget that during the Yuen Dynasty it was a contiguous part of China.
HHNH: But wait a minute, wasn't the Yuen Dynasty a Mongolian dynasty?
Z: They became Chinese. And so we also claim Mongolia and parts of Russia that traditionally were included in the Yuen Empire.
HHNH: But the Mongolians controlled most of Central Asia at one time....
Z: Exactly, and once we resolve these pesky issues with Japan and the Southeast Asian countries, we will turn our attention to Central Asia. After all, all of those lands west of Xinjiang Province were once part of the great Chinese Tang Dynasty! (He emphasizes "Chinese" with a puff of smoke.)
HHNH: Your country doesn't have any claims in North America, does it?
Z: We are exploring evidence that Chinese settlers may have come to the Western Hemisphere before the Europeans. One of your Western authors has written a book about this. Of course, we would not expel all the Europeans who are there now, but I believe we must work out a resource-sharing agreement with them and divide the lands equitably.
HHNH: Is there ANY part of the World that China cannot lay claim to?
Z: We have no historical connection to Chad. (He stubs out his cigarette emphatically.) By the way, I notice that you were born in China, Mr. Pterosaurish.
HHNH: Er... yes? Does China want to claim me too?
Z: (His uproarious laugh ends in a rasping cough.) No... no, Mr. Pterosaurish. Trust me... we don't want you... no way... (cough cough cough).
HHNH: Thank you for your time, Mr. Zhang.
Z: It was my pleasure.
Monday, October 1, 2012
The Romney Repression
I am blab... er... blogging about politics today.
Yeah... yeah, I know. It's not funny, but it's FUN!
You will be delighted to know that both Mitt Romney (now running for President of the United States) and his running mate, Paul Ryan (now running for bucket of warm piss), are in the best of health! Mitt Romney (65) takes a "baby aspirin" everyday and is closely monitored for prostate cancer. Paul Ryan is also in the pink (not TOO red, right?), though his doctors feel that maybe he stretched the truth about his body fat.
Yeah... yeah, I know. It's not funny, but it's FUN!
You will be delighted to know that both Mitt Romney (now running for President of the United States) and his running mate, Paul Ryan (now running for bucket of warm piss), are in the best of health! Mitt Romney (65) takes a "baby aspirin" everyday and is closely monitored for prostate cancer. Paul Ryan is also in the pink (not TOO red, right?), though his doctors feel that maybe he stretched the truth about his body fat.
He said, they said; who you gonna believe, right?
So both of them are healthy specimens physically.
But what about their mental capacity?
What if they were suffering from serious mental illness; how would we know about it?
The doctors who gave them their physicals didn't ask them questions related to mental health.
Scenario
Dr.: "So, Mr. Romney... you are running for President. How do you handle all the pressure and so on; are you OK?
Romney: I am fine... I am very fine! Why do you ask such a question? Running for President is challenging. My wife just said so! I mean... if you don't like what I am doing, why don't YOU step up to the plate and do something?!!
Dr: It's not about me... but why don't you talk about that for a while? Tell us about "stepping up to the plate".....
Romney: Yeah! My father told me, "Mitt, never get involved in politics if you have to win an election to pay a mortgage." So, I am in politics because I feel that the right person needs to come forward and step up to the plate, step up to the plate and DO the job that needs to be done! In the country.... and in Washington and around the World. I am that right person.
Dr: "Stepping up to the plate" seems important to you... why don't you tell me about "stepping up to the plate" in detail. What does that mean to you in your life?
Romney: In my life?
Dr: Yes... what does it mean?
Romney: Well... er ... what does one do at the plate exactly?
Dr: I would like to know how you feel about it. What does "the plate" represent to you in YOUR life?
Romney: OK... I am ready to step up to the plate and eat whatever is on it! Even if it is ethnic or involves small varmints that I shot.
When I was a missionary in France someone gave me this plate of ... never mind... Anyway... I will eat anything.
Dr: It's not about me... but why don't you talk about that for a while? Tell us about "stepping up to the plate".....
Romney: Yeah! My father told me, "Mitt, never get involved in politics if you have to win an election to pay a mortgage." So, I am in politics because I feel that the right person needs to come forward and step up to the plate, step up to the plate and DO the job that needs to be done! In the country.... and in Washington and around the World. I am that right person.
Dr: "Stepping up to the plate" seems important to you... why don't you tell me about "stepping up to the plate" in detail. What does that mean to you in your life?
Romney: In my life?
Dr: Yes... what does it mean?
Romney: Well... er ... what does one do at the plate exactly?
Dr: I would like to know how you feel about it. What does "the plate" represent to you in YOUR life?
Romney: OK... I am ready to step up to the plate and eat whatever is on it! Even if it is ethnic or involves small varmints that I shot.
When I was a missionary in France someone gave me this plate of ... never mind... Anyway... I will eat anything.
Dr: Small varmints? I see... And you were a missionary in France? Can you talk a little more about that?
Romney: Yes... I ... er... I was working out of a Mormon Church and bicycling around with my helmet and necktie and trying to get people to come to my church?
Dr: I see... and... why were you doing this?
Romeny: Well... it was something we all did... ha ha... like going to dances or ... hanging out together... you know... like norm... er... other people do.... heh heh.
Dr: I see.... and you "stepped up to the plate" in France?
Romney: Oh! Yes.... I ate everything they gave me. I would eat EVERYTHING on the plate and I would not find it offensive even if it were ethnic or French. I mean – after all – my father was raised in Mexico! I am a Latino once removed! You cannot out-ethnic me! Ha Ha!
Dr: I see... So let me prescribe....
Romney: Yes... I ... er... I was working out of a Mormon Church and bicycling around with my helmet and necktie and trying to get people to come to my church?
Dr: I see... and... why were you doing this?
Romeny: Well... it was something we all did... ha ha... like going to dances or ... hanging out together... you know... like norm... er... other people do.... heh heh.
Dr: I see.... and you "stepped up to the plate" in France?
Romney: Oh! Yes.... I ate everything they gave me. I would eat EVERYTHING on the plate and I would not find it offensive even if it were ethnic or French. I mean – after all – my father was raised in Mexico! I am a Latino once removed! You cannot out-ethnic me! Ha Ha!
Dr: I see... So let me prescribe....
So... I know... I know... it's a dirty nasty job, but SOMEbody has to do it, right?
I volunteer to check out their mental health.
WARNING! Pterosaurish is not a mental-health professional.
Notwithstanding... (can you believe that is one word?) let's have a look at their mental health.
First of all, why don't we just eliminate Ryan from this investigation? Since both candidates are in such great health, even IF Romney is elected, he will likely serve out his full term and Ryan will not have to step into his Presidential shoes on account of sudden death.
So back to Mr. Romney.
He made that recently famous statement about the 47% of Americans who "are dependent upon government, who believe that they are
victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for
them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to
housing, to you-name-it. That that’s an entitlement. And the government
should give it to them". And shouldn't they quit being whining, moochers on the "job creators", right?
He is clearly ticked off about people, free-loading off of the rest of us tax-paying citizens.
Who wouldn't be?
Unless it was your own parents.
Oops! We have a problem.
1. Mitt Romney hates people mooching off the "job creators" who obviously pay ALL the taxes and even make government possible.
2. His own parents were mooching off the "job creators" who obviously pay ALL the taxes and even make government possible.
This sounds like a psychological issue to me, simple though I may be.
Especially since he was the youngest child in his family.
Everyone knows the "baby of the family" is coddled relentlessly, so why did he develop these symptoms of hating his parents so much that he would not even allow them to mooch off his largess in the tax scheme of things?
Since I am not a mental health professional, at times like these, I consult the DSM IV (for you laypeople, this is holy scripture for the psychology community).
Apparently, last born children "may be more
likely to experience personality problems later in
life".
Why?
"This is the child who grows up knowing
that he has the least amount of power in the whole
family. He sees his older siblings having more
freedom and more superiority. He also gets
pampered and protected more than any other child
did. This could leave him with a sense that he
cannot take on the world alone and will always be
inferior to others."
Clearly Romney has unresolved issues related to his up-bringing that might impact his ability to function as President, and he is acting out his hostility towards his parents by denying them (psychically) their claim to government largess. He even said he would have a "better shot of winning" if his parents were Latino. By being hostile to the "moochers" in our society, he is finally "coming into his own" relative to his siblings, asserting his superiority over the accomplishments of his parents. He is definitely working through these serious mental symptoms, but at what cost? Even his wife is concerned about his "mental well-being" if he becomes President.
What IS it with Republican Presidential nominees these days?
What IS it with Republican Presidential nominees these days?
George W. did this too, of course, wanting to outdo his father, even starting an unnecessary war over it (remember that?). Fortunately, Mitt is not in a position to start a war (yet), so what we see are these psychological chickens from his past, coming home to roost on his policies today. Mitt only wants to be elected President – very badly. He will say anything at all and adjust his positions 180° if necessary to get elected (and has), truly the etch-a-sketch man.
Compared to him, President Obama with his single-parent, bi-cultural, multi-ethnic background seems simple! Simple is something I can relate to.
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