In an earlier pixelation, I described how the yakuza, Japan's mafia, has been getting involved in the marriage racket. I attributed this unexpected development to the loss of income from traditional criminal activities, because of the weakening of the overall economy.
Since then, thanks to a concerned reader's response, I have learned that I was mislead. The reason the yakuza are doing so poorly these days is because of competition!
That's correct. There is a powerful organization out there which is trying to usurp the traditional role of the yakuza in Japanese society. That organization is the National Police Agency (NPA). The NPA has been encroaching on traditional sources of yakuza income such as pachinko (pinball gambling) while at the same time, working to keep their other sources of revenue under control. The poor yakuza members are pushed to the periphery, having to work in nuclear plant cleanup operations and other dangerous occupations.
I needed to find out what the plan was behind this move on the part of the NPA into the underworld, so I arranged an interview with Assistant Vice-Director of Vice Control Lieutenant Wairo.
Lt. Wairo: (sporting a short, curly hair-style and sunglasses) Come in and have a seat. What can I do for you?
Pterosaurish: Thank you. I would like to interview you about the NPA's involvement in traditional gang-related activities.
Lt. Wairo: Sure! (leaning back in his chair) What would you like to know.
P: Well.. what is the crime-fighting policy behind this?
Lt. Wairo: Well... as you know we have been cracking down on organized crime now for several hundred years! Our policy has been one of zero tolerance!
P: But what about the pachinko parlors and soapland or hostess-club prostitution that pretty much operate openly around the country?
Lt. Wairo: Oh that! Of course they function openly! If we suppressed them, they would only go underground and we wouldn't be able to see what was going on.
P: But I have read that the NPA's members are involved in receiving money from pachinko gambling and from other organized crime actitivities.
Lt. Wairo: Naturally! This is part of our new strategy, don't you see? In the old days we relied on simple suppression of gangland operations, but now we are doing things smarter! If WE can get the money from these illegal activities, that is less money that flows into the coffers of organized crime! Similarly, we try to get retired NPA officials into top positions in gambling and other similar organizations so that we can deprive organized criminals of this control! This enables us to really push them to the edges, to the fringe work in society like cleaning up the mess at the damaged nuclear power plants or hauling garbage and so on.
P: So in effect, the NPA has taken on the role of another big gang?
Lt. Wairo: Ha ha ha! Not only BIG! We are far and away the biggest! All of the OTHER criminal organizations... No, I mean... if you add all the members of criminal organizations in Japan together, it only comes to 102,400 members! We have 280,500 police officers all across the country! Each is ready to take on serious responsibilities in our efforts to displace organized crime in our society.
P: I see. So what is the NPA's final goal in dealing with organized crime?
Lt. Wairo: We understand that organized crime has a traditional role in Japanese society, and we don't want to change that. We would like the gangsters to stick to running the food booths at festivals and getting their elaborate tattoos, simple harmless operations, and leave the hard-core stuff to us.
P: And this will bring a more peaceful society?
Lt. Wairo: You understand perfectly. If we at the NPA run all of the so called criminal activities, many benefits will accrue to the nation. Taxes will be paid properly, NPA officials will have something to do after they retire, and the average citizen will know that they don't have to worry about dangerous gangsters anymore!
P: Thank you so much for you time today.
Lt. Wairo: Absolutely a pleasure! Here, let me give you this ad for the new soapland that opened up around the corner; no gangsters there at all!
P: Er... thank you, but I have to be getting back.
Lt. Wairo: No problem! Let me know if you have any other questions!
Monday, February 27, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
Confusion in the Ranks 2012
It's time ONCE AGAIN to look in on the Presidential election campaign in the United States.
In my last couple of related posts, we considered how the call from God – that many of the candidates claimed – affected their performance in the primaries and caucuses.
Clearly with the leader-board changing so often, we have to realize that the process is much more complex than can be explained by calls from God or Mormon underwear.
My favorite candidate, Donald Trump (what's not to like about him, eh?!), whom I endorsed many months ago, has not only dropped out of the race but has come out in favor of another candidate, Mitt Romney.
The Donald... how could you DO this to me!
THAT blindsided me!
I was sure he would endorse Newt, or Ron Paul (why does he have two first names?), or even Goofy, but no ... it's Mitt.
Now as we all know, Mitt is a Mormon and is alleged to wear the religious underwear of the devout. Of course, it's possible to make too much of this and be accused of religious bias (heaven forbid). After all, Jews wear the yarmulke, Sikh men wear the turban, and the Pope wears a large, stylized mussel on his head. Why Mormons didn't stick to some sort of headgear is difficult to say, but the underwear goes a long way towards making them special.
Special as it may be, Jon Huntsman is also a Mormon, but his underwear did not protect him from the disdain of the Tea Partiers and the Evangelicals in Republican ranks – the ones who set the bottom lines for the campaign. Uncommonly brave, Huntsman actually came out and said, “I believe in evolution and trust scientists on global warming. Call me crazy.” Which in a way proved that he was, since only a crazy person would say something like that to Republicans this year. Speaking a foreign language didn't help.
The Republican race is a roller coaster ride though, full of ups and downs. Newt Gingrich (Slogan: Let me show the Mormons how to do polygamy!) claimed as late as December that he couldn't see how he wouldn't be the nominee. Alas, his vision was a little undernourished and the Michelin Man candidate has been on a serious delegate diet since South Carolina.
Then Mitt took off in Florida only to crater out in Missouri, Minnesota and Colorado where Santorum soared!
Santorum has serious cred with the conservative "Christians*" of the Republican right, coming out as he does for teaching creation science in the schools. Also boosting his appeal, he equates being gay with bestiality and opposes unregulated consensual sex. Clearly, unlike with Jon Huntsman, the Bottom Liners of the Republican party are not going to call HIM crazy! No way!
Next up is the excitement of the Michigan primary and – down the line – Super Tuesday.
It's called that because you get an extra order of fries AND a jumbo serving of whatever is on the Republican menu on Tuesday! How can that be bad? As we all know, the Republicans like a good meal (no socialist health insurance to cover that health issue, of course)!
Because of the Tea Partiers and the Evangelicals, each candidate is forced to prove how conservative he is, so we have been witness to a kind of one-upmanship among the contenders.
On science?
"You believe in intelligent design? Oh yeah? Well! I believe in creationism!
"Creationism? Ha! I believe that the world is flat!"
"Flat?! What a liberal! I believe the sun orbits around the earth! So there!"
On women?
"I think women should not be getting birth control pills; it encourages a deviant lifestyle!"
"Ha! Is THAT all?! I also think a woman should stay at home, submitting to a man as her leader!"
"Pathetic! You guys are left of Castro! I believe a woman should stay at home and wear a burka AND hold an aspirin between her knees for birth control!"
One of them will be the nominee! Stay tuned.
- - - - - - - - - -
*They are Old Testamentarians, not Christians. It's similar to the Reagan phenomenon; they hearken back to his "glory days" but heaven forbid he were actually here! No way could Reagan be a candidate today (he raised taxes) and no way would Jesus tolerate right-wing Republicans.
In my last couple of related posts, we considered how the call from God – that many of the candidates claimed – affected their performance in the primaries and caucuses.
Clearly with the leader-board changing so often, we have to realize that the process is much more complex than can be explained by calls from God or Mormon underwear.
My favorite candidate, Donald Trump (what's not to like about him, eh?!), whom I endorsed many months ago, has not only dropped out of the race but has come out in favor of another candidate, Mitt Romney.
The Donald... how could you DO this to me!
THAT blindsided me!
I was sure he would endorse Newt, or Ron Paul (why does he have two first names?), or even Goofy, but no ... it's Mitt.
Now as we all know, Mitt is a Mormon and is alleged to wear the religious underwear of the devout. Of course, it's possible to make too much of this and be accused of religious bias (heaven forbid). After all, Jews wear the yarmulke, Sikh men wear the turban, and the Pope wears a large, stylized mussel on his head. Why Mormons didn't stick to some sort of headgear is difficult to say, but the underwear goes a long way towards making them special.
Special as it may be, Jon Huntsman is also a Mormon, but his underwear did not protect him from the disdain of the Tea Partiers and the Evangelicals in Republican ranks – the ones who set the bottom lines for the campaign. Uncommonly brave, Huntsman actually came out and said, “I believe in evolution and trust scientists on global warming. Call me crazy.” Which in a way proved that he was, since only a crazy person would say something like that to Republicans this year. Speaking a foreign language didn't help.
The Republican race is a roller coaster ride though, full of ups and downs. Newt Gingrich (Slogan: Let me show the Mormons how to do polygamy!) claimed as late as December that he couldn't see how he wouldn't be the nominee. Alas, his vision was a little undernourished and the Michelin Man candidate has been on a serious delegate diet since South Carolina.
Then Mitt took off in Florida only to crater out in Missouri, Minnesota and Colorado where Santorum soared!
Santorum has serious cred with the conservative "Christians*" of the Republican right, coming out as he does for teaching creation science in the schools. Also boosting his appeal, he equates being gay with bestiality and opposes unregulated consensual sex. Clearly, unlike with Jon Huntsman, the Bottom Liners of the Republican party are not going to call HIM crazy! No way!
Next up is the excitement of the Michigan primary and – down the line – Super Tuesday.
It's called that because you get an extra order of fries AND a jumbo serving of whatever is on the Republican menu on Tuesday! How can that be bad? As we all know, the Republicans like a good meal (no socialist health insurance to cover that health issue, of course)!
Because of the Tea Partiers and the Evangelicals, each candidate is forced to prove how conservative he is, so we have been witness to a kind of one-upmanship among the contenders.
On science?
"You believe in intelligent design? Oh yeah? Well! I believe in creationism!
"Creationism? Ha! I believe that the world is flat!"
"Flat?! What a liberal! I believe the sun orbits around the earth! So there!"
On women?
"I think women should not be getting birth control pills; it encourages a deviant lifestyle!"
"Ha! Is THAT all?! I also think a woman should stay at home, submitting to a man as her leader!"
"Pathetic! You guys are left of Castro! I believe a woman should stay at home and wear a burka AND hold an aspirin between her knees for birth control!"
One of them will be the nominee! Stay tuned.
- - - - - - - - - -
*They are Old Testamentarians, not Christians. It's similar to the Reagan phenomenon; they hearken back to his "glory days" but heaven forbid he were actually here! No way could Reagan be a candidate today (he raised taxes) and no way would Jesus tolerate right-wing Republicans.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Are Men Large Trash?!
In Japan, many Japanese wives refer to their husbands as SODAI GOMI, or large trash items. Also in an earlier post, I commented on all the articles that have been appearing lately about whether men are really needed or not. In in defense of men, I think I wrote a pretty convincing letter to women everywhere, persuading them that not only are men necessary, but that – like cats – we can even be an asset under the proper circumstances!
Since then, however, I have reluctantly arrived at a different conclusion; we may be what women make of us.
There is growing evidence that the female of the species shapes the males around her. Female frogs, for example, seem to regulate the sound and look of the male frogs that chase after them. In a nutshell, the research appears to show that male calls, "made up of a longer 'whine' followed by one or more short 'chucks'", are controlled by the females. How? The females prefer more chucks than whine (where have we heard THAT before?!), and predatory bats also home in on the whiny crowd, so gradually the "more attractive" chucky group prevails. The males provide more chuck and less whine!
Which brings us to the pressing question, "Why do we call men, named Charles, Chuck?"
No. That was not the question.
In fact, it is not time for the question yet. We need more evidence.
So, consider this.
In a study on moose mating behavior in Alaska, researchers found that the females (called "cows") actually encourage males to fight over them. They obviously want only the best males (called "bulls") to "hang out" with, so they keep less capable males away by "moaning".*
The female moose also employs these moans when "approached" by even a strong bull to encourage others to challenge him for "make out" rights!
"You look good to me, hon, but let's see if you can handle just one more fight, OK?"
Males who fail to win a mate early in the competition often die of starvation in the winter, because they have spent the eating season beating up on each other on account of the female moaning.
"Well!" You say, "Frogs and moose! What does that have to do with me and hubby-poo whom I love dearly!
Well, how about this? In many households, women are the predominant cooks. And from time immemorial it has been thought that what they cook can also control their man's behavior. In Cornish tradition, for example, a man who eats roasted owl will be a slave to his wife's every desire.
Scenario
Man: (looking suspiciously at the roast) Looks good, Dear!! Yum yum! Cornish game hen? (he asks hopefully)
Woman: Yes, Sweetie! Eat it all up!
We males are clearly alert to what females are up to and unquestionably shape our lives around them in many ways. Apparently we can actually even hear their menstrual cycles! So it doesn't come as any surprise then to read that men lose their thinking ability more quickly than women do. Why would they want us thinking too much?
It's all part of a plot! First declare men to be unnecessary. Next, make us lose our thinking ability. And finally let us die off early. All so you women can enjoy your lives without us around to bother you and make demands.
Apparently writing letters is not convincing enough to delay these tactics. Maybe if we learned to chuck more and whine less our situation would improve?
- - - - - - - - - -
*In my personal experience, I have heard human females do this too. They rolled their eyes and moaned, "Omg... not HIM again!" It definitely kept me away.
Since then, however, I have reluctantly arrived at a different conclusion; we may be what women make of us.
There is growing evidence that the female of the species shapes the males around her. Female frogs, for example, seem to regulate the sound and look of the male frogs that chase after them. In a nutshell, the research appears to show that male calls, "made up of a longer 'whine' followed by one or more short 'chucks'", are controlled by the females. How? The females prefer more chucks than whine (where have we heard THAT before?!), and predatory bats also home in on the whiny crowd, so gradually the "more attractive" chucky group prevails. The males provide more chuck and less whine!
Which brings us to the pressing question, "Why do we call men, named Charles, Chuck?"
No. That was not the question.
In fact, it is not time for the question yet. We need more evidence.
So, consider this.
In a study on moose mating behavior in Alaska, researchers found that the females (called "cows") actually encourage males to fight over them. They obviously want only the best males (called "bulls") to "hang out" with, so they keep less capable males away by "moaning".*
The female moose also employs these moans when "approached" by even a strong bull to encourage others to challenge him for "make out" rights!
"You look good to me, hon, but let's see if you can handle just one more fight, OK?"
Males who fail to win a mate early in the competition often die of starvation in the winter, because they have spent the eating season beating up on each other on account of the female moaning.
"Well!" You say, "Frogs and moose! What does that have to do with me and hubby-poo whom I love dearly!
Well, how about this? In many households, women are the predominant cooks. And from time immemorial it has been thought that what they cook can also control their man's behavior. In Cornish tradition, for example, a man who eats roasted owl will be a slave to his wife's every desire.
Scenario
Man: (looking suspiciously at the roast) Looks good, Dear!! Yum yum! Cornish game hen? (he asks hopefully)
Woman: Yes, Sweetie! Eat it all up!
We males are clearly alert to what females are up to and unquestionably shape our lives around them in many ways. Apparently we can actually even hear their menstrual cycles! So it doesn't come as any surprise then to read that men lose their thinking ability more quickly than women do. Why would they want us thinking too much?
It's all part of a plot! First declare men to be unnecessary. Next, make us lose our thinking ability. And finally let us die off early. All so you women can enjoy your lives without us around to bother you and make demands.
Apparently writing letters is not convincing enough to delay these tactics. Maybe if we learned to chuck more and whine less our situation would improve?
- - - - - - - - - -
*In my personal experience, I have heard human females do this too. They rolled their eyes and moaned, "Omg... not HIM again!" It definitely kept me away.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Get Warm or Die!
There has been a modest discussion going on (in Facebook amongst people living in Japan) about the various problems with heating systems in Japan and the general lack of insulation in houses – even in the snowy climes of Japan's back country, Niigata.
To get to the bottom of this issue, Pterosaurish went to the store to look into what modern heating conveniences were on sale this year!
Store Scenario
Salesman: May I help you, sir?
Pt (me): Yes, I am looking for a room heater... what is good this year?
Salesman: Well, because of the nuclear power plant problem and shortage of electricity, we are not recommending electrical air conditioners like we have been over the past 5 years or so.
Pt: What do you recommend instead?
Salesman: Come over here and let me show you. (He leads me to some impressive looking machines) These run on kerosene and are very efficient. You can have the fuel tank put outside your house and ask a kerosene supplier to tank it up for you on a contract basis. You don't need to worry about anything then.
Pt: Wow... they look nice, but the prices! Those cost over 100,000 yen (about $1250)! And that doesn't include the tank for the fuel, does it?
Salesman: (squinting at me as if he has suddenly gotten my "measure") Oh... I see... well, then. Have a look at these. These also run on kerosene, but you have to fill the internal tank yourself. (He pats one of them lovingly)
Pt: Wow... these are only 25,000 yen (about $300). Is the only difference that I would have to refuel it myself?
Salesman: Oh no. Those over there are what we call "clean heaters" while these we call "fan heaters".
Pt: That's a big difference.
Salesman: Ha! Ha! You are SO funny.
Let me explain how they are different. (He begins explaining as if talking to a 4-year old) The clean heaters need to be installed in one position, while the fan heaters can be placed anywhere in the room.
Pt: Hmm... sounds like the fan heater would be more practical. Why is it so much cheaper?
Salesman: Well, one reason is that the clean heaters need to be installed.
Pt: What do you mean?
Salesman: Well... a hole needs to be drilled in the wall for the air and exhaust duct to extend outside. It draws its combustion air through this pipe and also passes exhaust gases outside. That's why it's called a "clean heater".
Pt: (getting a bad feeling) Then what about the air and exhaust of the fan heaters?
Salesman: The fan heaters draw their combustion air from the room and vent exhaust into the living space as well.
Pt: You mean they pump carbon monoxide and carbon dioxide etc. directly into the room?!
Salesman: (laughing) Ha ha ha! I can see by your face that you are concerned. There is no need to worry! Each fan heater comes with a prominent sticker on top, explaining that you need to open the windows to ventilate once or twice an hour.
Pt: Let me get this straight... the fan heater pumps exhaust gases into the room as it heats the living space....
Salesman: (cheerfully) Correct!
Pt: And then just as the room is warming up, you are supposed to go and open a window to ventilate out the dangerous gases....
Salesman: (even more cheerfully) Yes! That's how it works!
Pt: So.. like... what if you fall asleep (or are overcome by poisonous fumes) because it is SO warm and cozy with the new heater..
Salesman: . . . . . . .
Pt: ...and what if you don't open the windows and let all the heat out?
Salesman: Well... as this other sticker on the back warns, you could be overcome by the gases.
Pt: And what...?
Salesman: (not so cheerfully) And ... well... die.
Pt: Do you sell these on credit?
Salesman: (cheerfully again) Of course! We accept all major credit cards! Do you want to buy this one now?
Pt: No, I was just wondering if these were a good credit risk. Thank you for your help.
Salesman: No problem! Please come back again when you decide which one to buy!
To get to the bottom of this issue, Pterosaurish went to the store to look into what modern heating conveniences were on sale this year!
Store Scenario
Salesman: May I help you, sir?
Pt (me): Yes, I am looking for a room heater... what is good this year?
Salesman: Well, because of the nuclear power plant problem and shortage of electricity, we are not recommending electrical air conditioners like we have been over the past 5 years or so.
Pt: What do you recommend instead?
Salesman: Come over here and let me show you. (He leads me to some impressive looking machines) These run on kerosene and are very efficient. You can have the fuel tank put outside your house and ask a kerosene supplier to tank it up for you on a contract basis. You don't need to worry about anything then.
Pt: Wow... they look nice, but the prices! Those cost over 100,000 yen (about $1250)! And that doesn't include the tank for the fuel, does it?
Salesman: (squinting at me as if he has suddenly gotten my "measure") Oh... I see... well, then. Have a look at these. These also run on kerosene, but you have to fill the internal tank yourself. (He pats one of them lovingly)
Pt: Wow... these are only 25,000 yen (about $300). Is the only difference that I would have to refuel it myself?
Salesman: Oh no. Those over there are what we call "clean heaters" while these we call "fan heaters".
Pt: That's a big difference.
Salesman: Ha! Ha! You are SO funny.
Let me explain how they are different. (He begins explaining as if talking to a 4-year old) The clean heaters need to be installed in one position, while the fan heaters can be placed anywhere in the room.
Pt: Hmm... sounds like the fan heater would be more practical. Why is it so much cheaper?
Salesman: Well, one reason is that the clean heaters need to be installed.
Pt: What do you mean?
Salesman: Well... a hole needs to be drilled in the wall for the air and exhaust duct to extend outside. It draws its combustion air through this pipe and also passes exhaust gases outside. That's why it's called a "clean heater".
Pt: (getting a bad feeling) Then what about the air and exhaust of the fan heaters?
Salesman: The fan heaters draw their combustion air from the room and vent exhaust into the living space as well.
Pt: You mean they pump carbon monoxide and carbon dioxide etc. directly into the room?!
Salesman: (laughing) Ha ha ha! I can see by your face that you are concerned. There is no need to worry! Each fan heater comes with a prominent sticker on top, explaining that you need to open the windows to ventilate once or twice an hour.
Pt: Let me get this straight... the fan heater pumps exhaust gases into the room as it heats the living space....
Salesman: (cheerfully) Correct!
Pt: And then just as the room is warming up, you are supposed to go and open a window to ventilate out the dangerous gases....
Salesman: (even more cheerfully) Yes! That's how it works!
Pt: So.. like... what if you fall asleep (or are overcome by poisonous fumes) because it is SO warm and cozy with the new heater..
Salesman: . . . . . . .
Pt: ...and what if you don't open the windows and let all the heat out?
Salesman: Well... as this other sticker on the back warns, you could be overcome by the gases.
Pt: And what...?
Salesman: (not so cheerfully) And ... well... die.
Pt: Do you sell these on credit?
Salesman: (cheerfully again) Of course! We accept all major credit cards! Do you want to buy this one now?
Pt: No, I was just wondering if these were a good credit risk. Thank you for your help.
Salesman: No problem! Please come back again when you decide which one to buy!
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