As everyone knows, according to the Mayan calendar and many other beliefs, the world will come to an end on December 21st of this year. Wouldn't you just know that the world would choose THAT day to end. It's my birthday! What this means is that I won't be getting any gifts, cake, or ANYthing at all. What a drag. But all self-centered whining aside, the end of the world is not likely to be a good present for anyone, even if your birthday happens to be at some other time of the year.
One thing that the Mayan calendar does not specifically tell us is just HOW the world will come to an end. Some say the magnetic poles will reverse; others insist that zombies will come and take over the planet. No one presents any convincing evidence that either of these admittedly likely phenomena will end the world as we know it.
New data has been released, however, that – thanks to a reader – has been brought to my attention and which suggests very clearly how the world will end.
In my last posting here, I talked about the weight problem that the United States is suffering from. We tend to think of this as just so much blubber, waddling through the shopping centers, but in fact it is much more dangerous than that.
According to the data recently released, while the United States accounts for only 6 percent of the world's population, it accounts for over 30% of the weight problem.
So what is wrong with that, you ask?
The world is a ball, so let us begin by examining basic ball dynamics. As any follower of baseball will tell you, the spitball was banned because of the effect it had on the flight of the ball. Adding some saliva or lubricant to one spot on the ball's surface causes it to rotate eccentrically, thus making it hard to hit.
If you look at a map, you will see that the United States occupies a relatively small part of the northern hemisphere. Increasing the weight in such a small area has the potential for throwing the whole planet off its normal rotation. We can call this the "Spitball Effect". The more weight Americans gain, the more likely it is that the Earth's smooth rotation will go wobbly on us. A small deviation from the norm might escalate on its own, causing the whole planet to spin out of control.
This is happening in the here and now, even as I write. As you can see from Chart 101 on this page, the number of earthquakes has been increasing year-by-year due to escalating wobble in our planet's rotation. By December, our planet may no longer be able to sustain its rotation, and all of us will be flung off into space.
The world will end not with a bang or a whimper but with a massive TILT.
Game over.
So, to all of my friends out there, if you wouldn't mind, could you give me the birthday presents and parties – say – on December 10th or so? Just to be safe? Thank you.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Monday, June 18, 2012
Our Big Fat Fuel Future
Before I get started here, I should say that I grew up in a foreign country and have missed out on a lot of popular culture in the US. Imagine my surprise then to discover that Beaver Cleaver was a child actor in a late 1950s comedy show and not a porn star!
Who could have guessed?
Anyway, according to the Center for Disease Control, 35.7% of Americans are obese. The news media is awash in articles and reports about how serious a health problem this presents to us as a nation and wrings its hands over what steps we can take to solve it.
It's easy to get sucked into this debate about health concerns, while ignoring the fact that there may be pluses to the growing waistlines of the American population. In an article last year, I promoted green energy through the mining of America's rich, untapped fuel-resource, fat.
There is no question that with rising gasoline prices and increasing dependence for oil on an unstable region of the world, this sort of forward-thinking is necessary to our future security and progress as a nation.
But that is not enough.
Scientists at Stanford University have developed a technique for turning fat into stem cells. Working with donated fat ("an abundant natural resource and a renewable one," according to surgeon Michael Longaker) scientists have used cutting-edge medical techniques to transform fat cells into stem cells. Stem cells are primitive cells which can be triggered to develop into any type of cell in the body. If your heart is failing, for example, in theory a stem-cell could be prodded into providing new heart muscle tissue which could be used to replace damaged parts of your heart, giving you a new lease on life. This means that the so-called moral issues of using embryonic stem cells from unused human embryos can be dodged. Moreover anyone can provide the "resources" for one's own stem-cell therapy, thereby avoiding tissue rejection problems.
Do you realize what this means?
As I explained in another article, the United States is collectively carrying around the total body weight of two Swedens in extra fat. While 5.28 billion pounds or 2.4 billion kilograms overweight may seem like a lot, in terms of total consumption, it doesn't go very far. The US daily consumption of oil is 18,690,000 barrels per day. Each barrel weighs in at 305 lbs (138.8 kg), so the total weight of oil consumed each day is around 5.7 billion lbs or 2.6 billion kilograms. Though I am not good at math, even I can tell that if we pumped all the fat that America has to spare, we would not have enough to cover even one day of our total oil consumption. People would be thinner, but houses would be cold; cars would run out of gas on the roads.
Clearly, simple extraction will not solve our fuel crisis or bring us closer to energy independence. If these fat-derived stem cells can be turned into any kind of human cell, it means that they can also be turned into more fat cells! Using this new breakthrough technology developed at Stanford University, we can use fat cells to grow more fat cells! According to the National Institutes of Health, one stem cell can be grown into millions – yes millions – of other cells which are themselves self-proliferating. If our total fat resources today can almost provide one day of oil consumption, having the ability to increase this amount by – say – even a thousand fold will insure that America can limit its reliance on fossil fuels, thereby reducing its carbon footprint with green energy, and finally achieving energy independence for a better tomorrow.
Who could have guessed?
Anyway, according to the Center for Disease Control, 35.7% of Americans are obese. The news media is awash in articles and reports about how serious a health problem this presents to us as a nation and wrings its hands over what steps we can take to solve it.
It's easy to get sucked into this debate about health concerns, while ignoring the fact that there may be pluses to the growing waistlines of the American population. In an article last year, I promoted green energy through the mining of America's rich, untapped fuel-resource, fat.
There is no question that with rising gasoline prices and increasing dependence for oil on an unstable region of the world, this sort of forward-thinking is necessary to our future security and progress as a nation.
But that is not enough.
Scientists at Stanford University have developed a technique for turning fat into stem cells. Working with donated fat ("an abundant natural resource and a renewable one," according to surgeon Michael Longaker) scientists have used cutting-edge medical techniques to transform fat cells into stem cells. Stem cells are primitive cells which can be triggered to develop into any type of cell in the body. If your heart is failing, for example, in theory a stem-cell could be prodded into providing new heart muscle tissue which could be used to replace damaged parts of your heart, giving you a new lease on life. This means that the so-called moral issues of using embryonic stem cells from unused human embryos can be dodged. Moreover anyone can provide the "resources" for one's own stem-cell therapy, thereby avoiding tissue rejection problems.
Do you realize what this means?
As I explained in another article, the United States is collectively carrying around the total body weight of two Swedens in extra fat. While 5.28 billion pounds or 2.4 billion kilograms overweight may seem like a lot, in terms of total consumption, it doesn't go very far. The US daily consumption of oil is 18,690,000 barrels per day. Each barrel weighs in at 305 lbs (138.8 kg), so the total weight of oil consumed each day is around 5.7 billion lbs or 2.6 billion kilograms. Though I am not good at math, even I can tell that if we pumped all the fat that America has to spare, we would not have enough to cover even one day of our total oil consumption. People would be thinner, but houses would be cold; cars would run out of gas on the roads.
Clearly, simple extraction will not solve our fuel crisis or bring us closer to energy independence. If these fat-derived stem cells can be turned into any kind of human cell, it means that they can also be turned into more fat cells! Using this new breakthrough technology developed at Stanford University, we can use fat cells to grow more fat cells! According to the National Institutes of Health, one stem cell can be grown into millions – yes millions – of other cells which are themselves self-proliferating. If our total fat resources today can almost provide one day of oil consumption, having the ability to increase this amount by – say – even a thousand fold will insure that America can limit its reliance on fossil fuels, thereby reducing its carbon footprint with green energy, and finally achieving energy independence for a better tomorrow.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Quantum Zen
One thing that is absolutely essential for us seniors is to keep our brains active and engaged. The drooly nodding off in the easy chair after ingesting an enormous dinner is not only bad for your waistline but also does not do your brain much good either. Like our muscles, the brain needs a workout and the more energetic the better.
Anyone can make words with scrabble tiles or sit soporific in front of the TV, doing a jigsaw puzzle, but these are simply not going to keep your mind young and involved in the day-to-day hurly-burly around you.
So what SHOULD you direct the beams of your mental processes at these days?
Politics? No. This is even worse for your health than consuming a whole bag of marshmallows.
Art? Let's face it. If art were so great, the famous painters would not all be dead now, would they.
No. The sophisticated buzz these days is quantum physics! It's totally new, however, and like anything new – the remote control, for example – we seniors often have trouble getting our heads around it.
So today, I will explain quantum physics for you in an easy-to-understand, casual style for the layman.
First of all, I am sure you are asking, what exactly does "quantum" mean. This is an excellent question and shows that you are taking the first steps to engaging your brain in higher activity. In fact, there is some debate about the meaning of the word. Some have said that it is the name of a famous Native American tribal leader who posited that things could be both here and there at the same time.
Obviously this is confusing and while his idea was correct, it has come to light that he was eating WAY too much peyote, and since that is illegal, there is no way an important branch of physics would be named after him.
Actually, the word "quantum" (I am not making this up) is Latin for "how much". So if quantum physics helps us develop time machines, and you are transported back to ancient Rome, you already know an important tourist question!
"Quantum for this slave girl?"
So why are we asking "how much" about physics?
This is a question that has puzzled scientists for eons and it is only recently that answers are being revealed. You see, while "quantum" is Latin, "physics" finds its origins in Greek!
In ancient times scientists would go to a Roman store and ask "how much" for the physics, but the poor store keeper could only understand the "how much" part.
Scenario
Scientist: How much for physics.
Store Keeper: You wan slave girl?
Scientist: How much for physics?!
Store Keeper: Yes! Yes! We have... you musta come arounde in back!
Scientist (getting frustrated and shouting): Physics! Physics!
Store Keeper: I donno whata you wan!
And so on.
Nowadays however, scientists understand the two expressions better and realize the depths of their relationship.
Which brings us to the meat of this discussion. (Scientists think that the "meat" is the most important part.)
Scientists have come to understand that very tiny particles behave in very strange ways. One interesting point of quantum physics is called Schrödinger's cat which is basically that nothing happens until someone observes it. If nobody hears the tree falling in the forest, does it make a sound? The answer is no. It doesn't do ANYTHING until someone observes it.
What does Schrödinger's cat have to do with this? As any cat "owner" will tell you, cats have their own ideas about rules. You can tell them not to jump up onto the counter and lick the butter, but they might or might not listen to your admonition. So you cannot know whether they are jumping up and licking the butter in a closed room unless you watch them do it or see the results, disgusting track marks all over the butter.
All of this is confusing, and it is that experience that will strengthen your brain muscle – staying up at night and worrying about your cat or the sound of the tree falling in the forest. In fact, if you can imagine the sound of one hand clapping, you are well on your way to understanding quantum physics. Let that thought percolate through your head for one hour a day and your brain will be well exercised, keeping it vigorous and healthy.
Anyone can make words with scrabble tiles or sit soporific in front of the TV, doing a jigsaw puzzle, but these are simply not going to keep your mind young and involved in the day-to-day hurly-burly around you.
So what SHOULD you direct the beams of your mental processes at these days?
Politics? No. This is even worse for your health than consuming a whole bag of marshmallows.
Art? Let's face it. If art were so great, the famous painters would not all be dead now, would they.
No. The sophisticated buzz these days is quantum physics! It's totally new, however, and like anything new – the remote control, for example – we seniors often have trouble getting our heads around it.
So today, I will explain quantum physics for you in an easy-to-understand, casual style for the layman.
First of all, I am sure you are asking, what exactly does "quantum" mean. This is an excellent question and shows that you are taking the first steps to engaging your brain in higher activity. In fact, there is some debate about the meaning of the word. Some have said that it is the name of a famous Native American tribal leader who posited that things could be both here and there at the same time.
Obviously this is confusing and while his idea was correct, it has come to light that he was eating WAY too much peyote, and since that is illegal, there is no way an important branch of physics would be named after him.
Actually, the word "quantum" (I am not making this up) is Latin for "how much". So if quantum physics helps us develop time machines, and you are transported back to ancient Rome, you already know an important tourist question!
"Quantum for this slave girl?"
So why are we asking "how much" about physics?
This is a question that has puzzled scientists for eons and it is only recently that answers are being revealed. You see, while "quantum" is Latin, "physics" finds its origins in Greek!
In ancient times scientists would go to a Roman store and ask "how much" for the physics, but the poor store keeper could only understand the "how much" part.
Scenario
Scientist: How much for physics.
Store Keeper: You wan slave girl?
Scientist: How much for physics?!
Store Keeper: Yes! Yes! We have... you musta come arounde in back!
Scientist (getting frustrated and shouting): Physics! Physics!
Store Keeper: I donno whata you wan!
And so on.
Nowadays however, scientists understand the two expressions better and realize the depths of their relationship.
Which brings us to the meat of this discussion. (Scientists think that the "meat" is the most important part.)
Scientists have come to understand that very tiny particles behave in very strange ways. One interesting point of quantum physics is called Schrödinger's cat which is basically that nothing happens until someone observes it. If nobody hears the tree falling in the forest, does it make a sound? The answer is no. It doesn't do ANYTHING until someone observes it.
What does Schrödinger's cat have to do with this? As any cat "owner" will tell you, cats have their own ideas about rules. You can tell them not to jump up onto the counter and lick the butter, but they might or might not listen to your admonition. So you cannot know whether they are jumping up and licking the butter in a closed room unless you watch them do it or see the results, disgusting track marks all over the butter.
All of this is confusing, and it is that experience that will strengthen your brain muscle – staying up at night and worrying about your cat or the sound of the tree falling in the forest. In fact, if you can imagine the sound of one hand clapping, you are well on your way to understanding quantum physics. Let that thought percolate through your head for one hour a day and your brain will be well exercised, keeping it vigorous and healthy.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Evolyrics
Normally when I run out of stuff to write about, I would rant on and on about how dumb Republicans or members of the religious right are, but today I want to talk about something even more important, Evolution.
No, not evolution of the species, evolution in pop culture.
It may be my imagination, but doesn't it seem like modern "music" lyrics have really gone downhill over the past 50 years or so?
Take hip hop music with its rap sounds. I am sure you have heard them, blasting from cars that slowly cruise down the streets with their windows puffing in and out with the base tones.
Drake and Lil Wayne released their popular hit "Gonorrhea" in 2010. You can tell by the title that the lyrics are going to be a major contribution to world culture.
Drake raps,
"Big Mo, Big Red, two cups made of styrofoam
big cheese big bread call that sh-t a calzone
I will break your f-cking collar bone"
To which Lil Wayne responds in part,
"uh, you keep talkin’ that sh-t I’mma see ya
kill ya senorita and and f-ck ya mama mia!"
Call me old fashioned, but what ARE they talking about? Now back in MY day, the musicians really had a way with words!
Who could forget the Beach Boys and their big hit release in 1964, Papa Oom Mow Mow (listen from 1:30)? Sample lyrics:
"Papa-papa-hoooo
(A papa-oom-mow-mow a papa-oom-mow-mow)
Papa-papa-papa-hoooo
(A papa-oom-mow-mow a papa-oom-mow-mow)
Doot doot doot"
I am telling you, they just do not write lyrics like that anymore.
Even as late as 1975, musicians like KC & The Sunshine Band were writing moving songs with compelling poetry, such as, "That's the Way I Like It" (you can sing along!).
Lyrics that have a way of staying with you over the ages:
"That's the way
uh huh uh huh
I like it
uh huh uh huh.
That's the way
uh huh uh huh
I like it
uh huh uh huh."
Let's be honest here, even Shakespeare could not have come up with lyrics like those!
But I digress; what we want to talk about is evolution, right? The evolution of romantic lyrics is what I specifically had in mind.
In 1963, The Beatles released their big hit, "I Want to Hold Your Hand". How touching! A whole song about wanting to hold his girlfriend's hand!
It wasn't long, however, until Tommy James and the Shondells pushed the romantic envelope with "Hanky Panky" in 1966.
"My baby does the hanky panky
My baby does the hanky panky
My baby does the hanky panky
My baby does the hanky panky"
It leaves a little less to the imagination than what might happen after holding hands with the Beatles. But still, "hanky panky" could be something like serious flirting or even petting; there is some room for interpretation. Naturally the lyricists evolved until by 2006, Akon and Snoop Dogg laid it ALL on the table with their big hit, "I wanna f**k you". Absolutely no question there about the romantic intent! Holding hands is for wusses.
A lot of deeply disturbed people don't believe in evolution and complain that there is no evidence to support the view that evolution exists, but clearly they will have to admit that in popular culture at least, things is moving along!
No, not evolution of the species, evolution in pop culture.
It may be my imagination, but doesn't it seem like modern "music" lyrics have really gone downhill over the past 50 years or so?
Take hip hop music with its rap sounds. I am sure you have heard them, blasting from cars that slowly cruise down the streets with their windows puffing in and out with the base tones.
Drake and Lil Wayne released their popular hit "Gonorrhea" in 2010. You can tell by the title that the lyrics are going to be a major contribution to world culture.
Drake raps,
"Big Mo, Big Red, two cups made of styrofoam
big cheese big bread call that sh-t a calzone
I will break your f-cking collar bone"
To which Lil Wayne responds in part,
"uh, you keep talkin’ that sh-t I’mma see ya
kill ya senorita and and f-ck ya mama mia!"
Call me old fashioned, but what ARE they talking about? Now back in MY day, the musicians really had a way with words!
Who could forget the Beach Boys and their big hit release in 1964, Papa Oom Mow Mow (listen from 1:30)? Sample lyrics:
"Papa-papa-hoooo
(A papa-oom-mow-mow a papa-oom-mow-mow)
Papa-papa-papa-hoooo
(A papa-oom-mow-mow a papa-oom-mow-mow)
Doot doot doot"
I am telling you, they just do not write lyrics like that anymore.
Even as late as 1975, musicians like KC & The Sunshine Band were writing moving songs with compelling poetry, such as, "That's the Way I Like It" (you can sing along!).
Lyrics that have a way of staying with you over the ages:
"That's the way
uh huh uh huh
I like it
uh huh uh huh.
That's the way
uh huh uh huh
I like it
uh huh uh huh."
Let's be honest here, even Shakespeare could not have come up with lyrics like those!
But I digress; what we want to talk about is evolution, right? The evolution of romantic lyrics is what I specifically had in mind.
In 1963, The Beatles released their big hit, "I Want to Hold Your Hand". How touching! A whole song about wanting to hold his girlfriend's hand!
It wasn't long, however, until Tommy James and the Shondells pushed the romantic envelope with "Hanky Panky" in 1966.
"My baby does the hanky panky
My baby does the hanky panky
My baby does the hanky panky
My baby does the hanky panky"
It leaves a little less to the imagination than what might happen after holding hands with the Beatles. But still, "hanky panky" could be something like serious flirting or even petting; there is some room for interpretation. Naturally the lyricists evolved until by 2006, Akon and Snoop Dogg laid it ALL on the table with their big hit, "I wanna f**k you". Absolutely no question there about the romantic intent! Holding hands is for wusses.
A lot of deeply disturbed people don't believe in evolution and complain that there is no evidence to support the view that evolution exists, but clearly they will have to admit that in popular culture at least, things is moving along!
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