Japanese research whalers have been chased from the Antarctic by the radical whale-protection group Sea Shepherd. They did not make their planned quota of whales and return with a bare 172 of the planned 900 whales aboard. Giving up on whaling this year has been big news in Japan, so – of course – a Hard Hitting News Hound like me needed to go out and get some "on the scene" material to report to you.
I was able to get an interview with a former captain of one of the whaling ships, a person who keeps in close contact with his crew and their new captain and who remains in a position of influence in the Japanese whaling community.
HHNH (Hard Hitting News Hound): Thank you for meeting with me Capt. Chinbotsu.
Capt. Chinbotsu: My pleasure. I am always happy to explain the importance of Japanese whaling to the foreign media.
HHNH: Well... to start, what do you think about these recent developments that are bringing the Japanese whaling fleet home early.
CC: I think it's a travesty. We were planning to harvest 900 whales and now they are on their way home with only 172. What are the restaurants around here to do?!
HHNH: I thought the whaling was for research purposes not to serve in restaurants.
CC: Yes... yes, of course. Research is the main goal.
HHNH: Just out of curiosity, what are some of the results of this research?
CC: It has been very productive! We now know, for example, that whales eat krill and fish!
HHNH: No way! Now that is news that I think everyone will be interested to hear. Who would have guessed that whales would be eating fish? I mean... in the sea? Truly an amazing finding!
CC: (beaming) Yes, we have definitely pushed back the frontiers of knowledge when it comes to whales.
HHNH: What about the harvested whales? Can you tell me a little about what happens to them?
CC: Of course we eat them.
HHNH: You personally?
CC: Oh no... not me. I grew up on beef, and I have to say that whale meat tastes a little fishy on account of their diet. But we try to serve it in specialty restaurants and to school children for lunches.
HHNH: And how was that received?
CC: Well... unfortunately the restaurants are not doing so well, and the kids didn't really care for it. We have a large frozen stockpile and the price has fallen. My dog loves it, though!
HHNH: Then why is the whaling necessary?
CC: It is a part of traditional Japanese culture! We Japanese have always been whalers and losing this important aspect of our culture would be just another step down the slippery slope of cultural decline.
HHNH: But... er... the traditional whaling was done to feed the people, but now it seems the people don't want to eat whales anymore. And aren't there really only four small communities that are involved in whaling?
CC: That's exactly my point! If we do not catch whales and feed them to the Japanese people, we will lose touch with this important part of Japanese culture! It is absolutely vital that we continue whaling! The four whaling communities are all that is left of this wonderful tradition. It's critical that we persist in whaling to keep this valuable cultural asset alive.
HHNH: So now that the whaling fleet is coming back to Japan with a greatly reduced catch, what will Japanese whalers do to keep up this important tradition?
CC: Yes, as it turns out, we have found that the southern Gulf coast of the United States may have a large number of whales. We will be sending our whaling fleet there next summer to continue our important research.
HHNH: That is exciting news! Well... all the best in your next hunt!
CC: It was a pleasure talking to you.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
The Police Count Their Blessings
The National Police Agency has just released its latest data on the number of motorcycle gang members in Japan. We should all be relieved to hear that the number has fallen below 10,000 for the first time since the NPA started collecting data in 1975. The new low is 9,064 members!
So you can imagine how a Hard Hitting News Hound like me would take that. I needed to get to the bottom of this dramatic change in the number of motorcycle gang members.
There just happens to be a place near here where motorcycle gang members race around a large parking lot. They buzz and up and down local streets on their unmuffled motorcycles and make the whole neighborhood's property values go down. So I went out just the other night to find out what the police were doing to cause this dramatic decline in gang membership. As I arrived at the parking lot, the gang members were racing around in small circles, revving their engines and screeching tire tracks all over the pavement. Other people in the parking lot were clearly intimidated and as cars pulled away, the gang members would weave around them threateningly.
I saw two police officers standing between two orange traffic cones in the corner of the parking lot, so I ambled over (trying to make myself inconspicuous to the motorcycle gangs) and talked with them.
HHNH (Hard Hitting News Hound): Good evening officers.
Officer Senpai: Good evening. Could you stand behind the yellow line please? You are very large and I can't see over you.
HHNH: (noticing the yellow line of tape between the two cones on the pavement for the first time) Oh! Of course, sorry... um... what exactly are you doing, may I ask?
Office Senpai: We are counting the gang members. Officer Yarisugi! Did you get those three? Three of them riding with no helmets on that one bike. Do you see them?
Officer Yarisugi: (clicking his people-counter furiously) Yes, Officer Senpai, I got them!
Officer Senpai: How about that one over there, racing his bike around that elderly couple coming out of the store?
Officer Yarisugi: You mean the one with the orange hair, drinking beer and the girl riding backwards on his bike?
Officer Senpai: No, the other guy over there, riding no hands and doing wheelies.
Officer Yarisugi: Oh! I missed him! Thanks!
HHNH: Um... they seem a little dangerous. Shouldn't you be arresting them for traffic and other violations?
Officer Senpai: Of course not! (he looks at me like I am insane) We need to get a sense of the problem first. Did you know that there are 9,064 motorcycle gang members in the country today? What if there were 9,067 or 9,062?! Arresting them would be out of the question. We wouldn't know things like how many beds to make up or box lunches to buy when they are being held before trial. It's important to find out just how many there are first, and THEN we can consider measures to solve the problems they present.
Officer Yarisugi! Did you see those two? The woman is sitting backwards on the bike and holding the whiskey bottle?
Officer Yarisugi: Over there? Yes, I got them. (he continued clicking)
HHNH: But... look at how they are disturbing the peace and harassing those poor elderly people. Look! They snatched the old woman's purse!
Officer Senpai: You just don't understand, do you!
Foreigners!
Like I said, we need to know how many of them there are in each and every district. This is around the WHOLE country, you know! Of course – as you can see (waving his hand in the direction of several bikes, racing each other in a tight circle around a family car) – they are mobile. Do you realize how HARD that makes it for US?! We spend HOURS each day going out and COUNTING, WRITING up reports, CALLING other districts in this prefecture, TABULATING the results and POSTING them to National Police Headquarters. (sighing) It's a lot of work!
Officer Yarisugi: (sighing heavily too) Officer Senpai? Do you see those three on the motorcycle over there? Is that the same three as before?
Office Senpai: No, none of the first three was wearing a helmet, but you can see that the woman riding on the very back has a helmet looped around her neck.
Officer Yarisugi: I will count them. (click, click, click)
HHNH: So when will you get around to cracking down on them?
Officer Senpai: As soon as we get a clear picture of their numbers. You think this is EASY?! We have been doing this without letup since 1975! I mean, this year there are 9,064 members, but since they drive dangerously and get into accidents, that number could be different even as early as tomorrow!
Officer Yarisugi: (click click)
Officer Senpai: Keeping track of them is a full-time responsibility (he squared his shoulders to assume the grave responsibility).
HHNH: So basically what you are saying is the reason the numbers have declined is because they kill themselves in accidents?
Officer Senpai: Absolutely! This could be a self-solving social problem.
HHNH: But what about the damage they do in the meantime and others who they involve in their accidents?
Officer Senpai: You laymen don't understand police work. As the numbers go down – and they ARE going down EVERY year! – the number of accidents and other problems they cause will also go down!
Officer Yarisugi: (click click click)
HHNH: I see... clearly I am not up on how these social ills progress. Do you think the fewer numbers might have something to do with the reduced numbers of young people in general?
Officer Senpai: What ARE you talking about?! It's due to diligent police work!
Officer Yarisugi: Oh DAMN!
Did you see that?!
Officer Senpai: What?!
That guy doing the wheelie ran at full speed into the retaining wall and flew 20 meters, impaling himself on that lamp post!
Now what do we do?!
Officer Senpai: I will make a note on my pad here to subtract one point from tonight's tally.
HHNH: Thank you for the information.
Officer Senpai: Glad to be of help. Please be careful when walking back to your car and don't forget to use your seatbelt. Safety is a number one priority!
Officer Yarisugi: (click click)
So you can imagine how a Hard Hitting News Hound like me would take that. I needed to get to the bottom of this dramatic change in the number of motorcycle gang members.
There just happens to be a place near here where motorcycle gang members race around a large parking lot. They buzz and up and down local streets on their unmuffled motorcycles and make the whole neighborhood's property values go down. So I went out just the other night to find out what the police were doing to cause this dramatic decline in gang membership. As I arrived at the parking lot, the gang members were racing around in small circles, revving their engines and screeching tire tracks all over the pavement. Other people in the parking lot were clearly intimidated and as cars pulled away, the gang members would weave around them threateningly.
I saw two police officers standing between two orange traffic cones in the corner of the parking lot, so I ambled over (trying to make myself inconspicuous to the motorcycle gangs) and talked with them.
HHNH (Hard Hitting News Hound): Good evening officers.
Officer Senpai: Good evening. Could you stand behind the yellow line please? You are very large and I can't see over you.
HHNH: (noticing the yellow line of tape between the two cones on the pavement for the first time) Oh! Of course, sorry... um... what exactly are you doing, may I ask?
Office Senpai: We are counting the gang members. Officer Yarisugi! Did you get those three? Three of them riding with no helmets on that one bike. Do you see them?
Officer Yarisugi: (clicking his people-counter furiously) Yes, Officer Senpai, I got them!
Officer Senpai: How about that one over there, racing his bike around that elderly couple coming out of the store?
Officer Yarisugi: You mean the one with the orange hair, drinking beer and the girl riding backwards on his bike?
Officer Senpai: No, the other guy over there, riding no hands and doing wheelies.
Officer Yarisugi: Oh! I missed him! Thanks!
HHNH: Um... they seem a little dangerous. Shouldn't you be arresting them for traffic and other violations?
Officer Senpai: Of course not! (he looks at me like I am insane) We need to get a sense of the problem first. Did you know that there are 9,064 motorcycle gang members in the country today? What if there were 9,067 or 9,062?! Arresting them would be out of the question. We wouldn't know things like how many beds to make up or box lunches to buy when they are being held before trial. It's important to find out just how many there are first, and THEN we can consider measures to solve the problems they present.
Officer Yarisugi! Did you see those two? The woman is sitting backwards on the bike and holding the whiskey bottle?
Officer Yarisugi: Over there? Yes, I got them. (he continued clicking)
HHNH: But... look at how they are disturbing the peace and harassing those poor elderly people. Look! They snatched the old woman's purse!
Officer Senpai: You just don't understand, do you!
Foreigners!
Like I said, we need to know how many of them there are in each and every district. This is around the WHOLE country, you know! Of course – as you can see (waving his hand in the direction of several bikes, racing each other in a tight circle around a family car) – they are mobile. Do you realize how HARD that makes it for US?! We spend HOURS each day going out and COUNTING, WRITING up reports, CALLING other districts in this prefecture, TABULATING the results and POSTING them to National Police Headquarters. (sighing) It's a lot of work!
Officer Yarisugi: (sighing heavily too) Officer Senpai? Do you see those three on the motorcycle over there? Is that the same three as before?
Office Senpai: No, none of the first three was wearing a helmet, but you can see that the woman riding on the very back has a helmet looped around her neck.
Officer Yarisugi: I will count them. (click, click, click)
HHNH: So when will you get around to cracking down on them?
Officer Senpai: As soon as we get a clear picture of their numbers. You think this is EASY?! We have been doing this without letup since 1975! I mean, this year there are 9,064 members, but since they drive dangerously and get into accidents, that number could be different even as early as tomorrow!
Officer Yarisugi: (click click)
Officer Senpai: Keeping track of them is a full-time responsibility (he squared his shoulders to assume the grave responsibility).
HHNH: So basically what you are saying is the reason the numbers have declined is because they kill themselves in accidents?
Officer Senpai: Absolutely! This could be a self-solving social problem.
HHNH: But what about the damage they do in the meantime and others who they involve in their accidents?
Officer Senpai: You laymen don't understand police work. As the numbers go down – and they ARE going down EVERY year! – the number of accidents and other problems they cause will also go down!
Officer Yarisugi: (click click click)
HHNH: I see... clearly I am not up on how these social ills progress. Do you think the fewer numbers might have something to do with the reduced numbers of young people in general?
Officer Senpai: What ARE you talking about?! It's due to diligent police work!
Officer Yarisugi: Oh DAMN!
Did you see that?!
Officer Senpai: What?!
That guy doing the wheelie ran at full speed into the retaining wall and flew 20 meters, impaling himself on that lamp post!
Now what do we do?!
Officer Senpai: I will make a note on my pad here to subtract one point from tonight's tally.
HHNH: Thank you for the information.
Officer Senpai: Glad to be of help. Please be careful when walking back to your car and don't forget to use your seatbelt. Safety is a number one priority!
Officer Yarisugi: (click click)
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Love and the Japanese Post Office
With e-mails, text messages and tweets, the day of sitting with pen in hand to write a letter on paper, put it into an envelope, stick on a stamp and post it at the corner may be long gone. In Japan, however, the Post Office has not given up hope for the good old days. On their web site, they maintain a section called “Letter Navigation” which offers point-and-click access to letters of every sort. No simple list, the web site opens with a selection from among 4 categories: “Official”, “Private”, “Ceremonial Occasions”, and “Seasonal Greetings”. Within each of these are subcategories. The category “Private” has no fewer than 19 subcategories with a total of 140 letters, including (under the subcategory “Admonishment / Advice”) a letter to a derelict husband who is ignoring his familial duties by staying out late and drinking too much: helpful support for nosey busybodies. In all, the site provides an incredible 296 letters.
Do you find it hard to ask that special person out on a date? The Japanese Post Office will make it easy for you.
Let’s use Hiroshi Tanaka as an example. Poor Hiroshi is low on personal skills, but there is someone at the office who attracts him, cute Keiko Yamada. He wants to ask her out, but how? What could he say? He goes to the Letter Navigation web site, and under “Private”, subcategory “Engagement / Love”, finds the perfect message. He nervously clicks on “Date Invitation” and begins reading the message.
"Please excuse my rudeness in sending you this letter out of the blue. Actually I have gotten two tickets to a (fill in performer’s name) concert on (fill in month and day) at (fill in time) at (fill in concert hall name). It is a Bach organ recital. I remembered that the other day during our lunch break, you talked about how much you loved music, so ….
At work it is hard to find the private moment to talk directly to you, so I am sending you this letter. If we could go together, it would really make me happy. What is your schedule like? I look forward to your answer."
He copies and pastes it, adds the dates, and names, prints it out and mails it the very next day on his way to work. Who could refuse a date tendered with such obvious sincerity?
Alas, the Japanese Post Office also provides the rejection letter. Keiko likes Hiroshi but has other plans for that day. Shy, she is not sure how to phrase a refusal without hurting poor Hiroshi’s feelings; she knows how awkward he is at the office. She goes to the Japanese Post Office web site and clicks on this response, “Date Invitation (Decline)”.
"Thank you for your letter. It is a wonderful invitation, but I am afraid I cannot accept on account of a previous engagement. I am really sorry. Actually I have already made an appointment to have dinner with old friends from my college days. It has been (fill in number) years since all of us friends have gotten together, so refusing now would be ….
The concert does sound great though; I especially like that kind of music. I really do want to get together with you, but please allow me to refuse this time. If you have another splendid plan in the future, you will invite me again, won’t you? Anyway, I am writing my answer in haste."
She slips it into an envelope and takes it to the Post Office to mail.
In Japan on Valentine’s Day, contrary to usual American practice, women send messages and give chocolates to men. As February 14th approaches, Keiko recalls the sweet invitation she got from Hiroshi to go to the concert. She decides to encourage him with a special Valentine’s Day message, so it’s back to Letter Navigation where she opens this very suitable one, “Valentine’s Day Confession”.
"All year, this is the one day I have been waiting for. It’s Valentine’s Day. So I will be brave and make a confession. I really like (fill in name*). You may be surprised to receive this suddenly from me, but I thought that since today might be my only chance, I would be daring and write to you. The chocolates that I am giving with this letter are not the usual “obligation chocolates”. I am waiting for (fill in name)’s response on White Day, one month from now. A happy response would be great, but to tell the truth, I am a little uncertain about your feelings for me."
Keiko types Hiroshi’s name in the blanks, prints it and includes it along with the Valentine’s Day chocolates which she had bought at her local supermarket. She secretly slips it under some papers on Hiroshi’s desk on Valentine’s Day, and pretends not to notice when he discovers it. When Keiko sees Hiroshi’s delighted smile out of the corner of her eye, she can feel her face starting to blush.
Hiroshi is overjoyed to find Keiko’s Valentine. She really does like him! Better send her a thank-you note. He finds the perfect message right there at the Post Office web site, “Valentine’s Day Gratitude”, and mails it off as soon as he can.
"I really want to thank you for those warm expressions from your heart that I received from you on Valentine’s Day the other day. Not only do you help me out at work all the time, but you have given me some really high-class chocolates as well. I am really thankful for the whisky too; it’s my favorite type. I intend to enjoy the delicious chocolate and whisky immediately! I hope for even more help from you at work in the future! With hasty gratitude…."
White Day is March 14th , one month after Valentine’s Day, when men are supposed to respond to women who have given them Valentine’s Day chocolates. Hiroshi is eager to show his growing feelings for Keiko. A few days before White Day, Hiroshi carefully picks out a box of chocolates at the supermarket and rushes home to his computer. He goes to the Post Office web site and finds just the right message, “White Day”.
"Thank you for the delicious chocolates you gave me on Valentine’s Day. I was also very happy to read your letter. I just can’t thank you enough. Today is White Day, and with these chocolates, I can really show you how I feel. I have always noticed you too. Would it be better to write, “I like you”? It has seemed longer than a month since Valentine’s Day. Just like you, I too have been waiting for this day. Since it seems we share the same feelings towards each other, let’s go on a date one of these days. Do you like musicals? If so, since I can get tickets, won’t you come with me? I am awaiting your response."
He prints the letter, and it is ready to put on Keiko’s desk with the chocolates when she’s not looking!
Keiko had been a little worried after Valentine’s Day when Hiroshi had thanked her for whisky, as she couldn’t remember giving him any. But she had also passed out so many “obligation chocolates” that day —to the office manager, the computer guy, even to that jerk, Sato, who is always coming on to her — she couldn’t really remember which ones she had given Hiroshi. Maybe she had given him the whisky bon-bons. But Hiroshi’s thoughtful White Day note and the lovely chocolates put her mind at ease. Back in her apartment, Keiko flicks on her computer and finds the Post Office’s ideal response to receiving White Day chocolates, “White Day Gratitude”, but instead, on the spur of the moment and her blossoming feelings, decides to accept Hiroshi’s date! Almost bursting with anticipation, Keiko clicks the “Date Invitation (Acceptance)” link, and reads the touching note.
"Thank you so much for your letter. The unexpected invitation made my heart jump with joy. Of course, please let me accompany you. To tell the truth, I love listening to music, but to be frank this will be the first time I have gone to a classical concert since I started working. Not only that, but for me… what can I say about the deeply provocative nature of a Bach organ recital? It can be wonderful, can’t it? Although it is still several days away, already I am in front of my mirror, having fun trying on different outfits I might wear. I am counting the days!"
Her heart throbbing with excitement, Keiko prints it out and rushes it to the Post Office!
At first Hiroshi is surprised that Keiko doesn’t mention anything about the musical, but then he remembers his first date invitation. “Of course!” He smiles to himself, “She really wanted to go with me that day!” The first Bach organ recital date has come and gone, but somehow Hiroshi manages to find another one in a different part of town. “We can go by taxi!” His pulse quickens as he imagines sitting next to Keiko in the back seat of the cab.
Well, one thing leads to another, and before long Hiroshi considers how wonderful it would be to spend the rest of his life with Keiko. But as always, he is at a loss for words. What could he say? Yes! He remembers the Post Office and finds just the right thing, “Marriage Proposal (Application for Marriage)”. He does worry a little about her reaction as he reads the letter.
"It may seem like “just too much” to be writing another letter, but some things are so important, I felt I had to put them down on paper. If you think about it, we have been together now for (fill in number) year. All the moments we spend together seem to go in a flash, but these (fill in number) year have been very fulfilling for me. I am always thinking of how I would like these moments to last my whole life. In other words, I want you to marry me.
How do you feel about this? Since I have not properly confirmed your feelings before in words, it would be wrong to say that I don’t have some anxiety about your response, but I believe that through our time together, I have more than adequately expressed my feelings towards you. I promise in good faith that I will take care of you in every way.
Well, I am sure that thinking of marriage makes your head spin, but please be in no hurry to respond. Take your time and think about it before you make your decision. I await good news from you."
Full of anxiety about how Keiko might react, Hiroshi walks slowly and takes a round-about-route to the Post Office, thinking, “Shall I mail it or not?” Suddenly he is standing in front of the post box and on the impulse of love, slides his letter into the slot.
Keiko comes home from work and finds Hiroshi’s letter in her mailbox. What could he be writing? She carefully cuts the envelope open. As she reads Hiroshi’s proposal, Keiko bursts with happiness. Blinking away her tears and with trembling fingers, she types in the fateful URL of the Letter Navigation page. She clicks on the “Marriage Proposal (Consent)” link and reads the happy letter of acceptance.
"(fill in name), thank you for your heartfelt letter. I gladly accept (fill in name)’s offer of marriage. I have long been waiting for (fill in name) to say the words of proposal, “Let’s get married”. I believe in (fill in name)’s character. Therefore I have no anxiety about a new life together with (fill in name). Let’s cooperate together to make an enjoyable family life!
Well, what sort of dress should I wear at the reception? (fill in name) will help in the dress selection, right? I am so thrilled by your proposal. Even though I cannot express myself well, because (fill in name) sent me such a bold letter, I have to say one more time, 'Thank you!'"
She rushes to the Post Office just in time to post the letter before they close. Hiroshi should get it as early as the next day!
A few days later in Hiroshi’s small apartment, the two lovers sit in the warm glow of the computer screen and choose the best announcement for their engagement. Blushing, Keiko points out that they can find birth announcements there too.
And, as the story goes — with the help of Japan Post— they should live happily ever after…, but if not, Japan Post offers a letter to ask a friend for counsel, Category: “Private”; Subcategory: “Advice”; Letter: “Divorce”. Nothing should be left to chance.
*Translation note: Japanese can refer to each other in the third person by name. For example, “How does Hiroshi feel about that?” = “How do you feel about that?”
Acknowledgement:
With thanks to Japan Post for the permission to translate their letters
http://www.post.japanpost.jp/navi/private/i-priv-m.html
Do you find it hard to ask that special person out on a date? The Japanese Post Office will make it easy for you.
Let’s use Hiroshi Tanaka as an example. Poor Hiroshi is low on personal skills, but there is someone at the office who attracts him, cute Keiko Yamada. He wants to ask her out, but how? What could he say? He goes to the Letter Navigation web site, and under “Private”, subcategory “Engagement / Love”, finds the perfect message. He nervously clicks on “Date Invitation” and begins reading the message.
"Please excuse my rudeness in sending you this letter out of the blue. Actually I have gotten two tickets to a (fill in performer’s name) concert on (fill in month and day) at (fill in time) at (fill in concert hall name). It is a Bach organ recital. I remembered that the other day during our lunch break, you talked about how much you loved music, so ….
At work it is hard to find the private moment to talk directly to you, so I am sending you this letter. If we could go together, it would really make me happy. What is your schedule like? I look forward to your answer."
He copies and pastes it, adds the dates, and names, prints it out and mails it the very next day on his way to work. Who could refuse a date tendered with such obvious sincerity?
Alas, the Japanese Post Office also provides the rejection letter. Keiko likes Hiroshi but has other plans for that day. Shy, she is not sure how to phrase a refusal without hurting poor Hiroshi’s feelings; she knows how awkward he is at the office. She goes to the Japanese Post Office web site and clicks on this response, “Date Invitation (Decline)”.
"Thank you for your letter. It is a wonderful invitation, but I am afraid I cannot accept on account of a previous engagement. I am really sorry. Actually I have already made an appointment to have dinner with old friends from my college days. It has been (fill in number) years since all of us friends have gotten together, so refusing now would be ….
The concert does sound great though; I especially like that kind of music. I really do want to get together with you, but please allow me to refuse this time. If you have another splendid plan in the future, you will invite me again, won’t you? Anyway, I am writing my answer in haste."
She slips it into an envelope and takes it to the Post Office to mail.
In Japan on Valentine’s Day, contrary to usual American practice, women send messages and give chocolates to men. As February 14th approaches, Keiko recalls the sweet invitation she got from Hiroshi to go to the concert. She decides to encourage him with a special Valentine’s Day message, so it’s back to Letter Navigation where she opens this very suitable one, “Valentine’s Day Confession”.
"All year, this is the one day I have been waiting for. It’s Valentine’s Day. So I will be brave and make a confession. I really like (fill in name*). You may be surprised to receive this suddenly from me, but I thought that since today might be my only chance, I would be daring and write to you. The chocolates that I am giving with this letter are not the usual “obligation chocolates”. I am waiting for (fill in name)’s response on White Day, one month from now. A happy response would be great, but to tell the truth, I am a little uncertain about your feelings for me."
Keiko types Hiroshi’s name in the blanks, prints it and includes it along with the Valentine’s Day chocolates which she had bought at her local supermarket. She secretly slips it under some papers on Hiroshi’s desk on Valentine’s Day, and pretends not to notice when he discovers it. When Keiko sees Hiroshi’s delighted smile out of the corner of her eye, she can feel her face starting to blush.
Hiroshi is overjoyed to find Keiko’s Valentine. She really does like him! Better send her a thank-you note. He finds the perfect message right there at the Post Office web site, “Valentine’s Day Gratitude”, and mails it off as soon as he can.
"I really want to thank you for those warm expressions from your heart that I received from you on Valentine’s Day the other day. Not only do you help me out at work all the time, but you have given me some really high-class chocolates as well. I am really thankful for the whisky too; it’s my favorite type. I intend to enjoy the delicious chocolate and whisky immediately! I hope for even more help from you at work in the future! With hasty gratitude…."
White Day is March 14th , one month after Valentine’s Day, when men are supposed to respond to women who have given them Valentine’s Day chocolates. Hiroshi is eager to show his growing feelings for Keiko. A few days before White Day, Hiroshi carefully picks out a box of chocolates at the supermarket and rushes home to his computer. He goes to the Post Office web site and finds just the right message, “White Day”.
"Thank you for the delicious chocolates you gave me on Valentine’s Day. I was also very happy to read your letter. I just can’t thank you enough. Today is White Day, and with these chocolates, I can really show you how I feel. I have always noticed you too. Would it be better to write, “I like you”? It has seemed longer than a month since Valentine’s Day. Just like you, I too have been waiting for this day. Since it seems we share the same feelings towards each other, let’s go on a date one of these days. Do you like musicals? If so, since I can get tickets, won’t you come with me? I am awaiting your response."
He prints the letter, and it is ready to put on Keiko’s desk with the chocolates when she’s not looking!
Keiko had been a little worried after Valentine’s Day when Hiroshi had thanked her for whisky, as she couldn’t remember giving him any. But she had also passed out so many “obligation chocolates” that day —to the office manager, the computer guy, even to that jerk, Sato, who is always coming on to her — she couldn’t really remember which ones she had given Hiroshi. Maybe she had given him the whisky bon-bons. But Hiroshi’s thoughtful White Day note and the lovely chocolates put her mind at ease. Back in her apartment, Keiko flicks on her computer and finds the Post Office’s ideal response to receiving White Day chocolates, “White Day Gratitude”, but instead, on the spur of the moment and her blossoming feelings, decides to accept Hiroshi’s date! Almost bursting with anticipation, Keiko clicks the “Date Invitation (Acceptance)” link, and reads the touching note.
"Thank you so much for your letter. The unexpected invitation made my heart jump with joy. Of course, please let me accompany you. To tell the truth, I love listening to music, but to be frank this will be the first time I have gone to a classical concert since I started working. Not only that, but for me… what can I say about the deeply provocative nature of a Bach organ recital? It can be wonderful, can’t it? Although it is still several days away, already I am in front of my mirror, having fun trying on different outfits I might wear. I am counting the days!"
Her heart throbbing with excitement, Keiko prints it out and rushes it to the Post Office!
At first Hiroshi is surprised that Keiko doesn’t mention anything about the musical, but then he remembers his first date invitation. “Of course!” He smiles to himself, “She really wanted to go with me that day!” The first Bach organ recital date has come and gone, but somehow Hiroshi manages to find another one in a different part of town. “We can go by taxi!” His pulse quickens as he imagines sitting next to Keiko in the back seat of the cab.
Well, one thing leads to another, and before long Hiroshi considers how wonderful it would be to spend the rest of his life with Keiko. But as always, he is at a loss for words. What could he say? Yes! He remembers the Post Office and finds just the right thing, “Marriage Proposal (Application for Marriage)”. He does worry a little about her reaction as he reads the letter.
"It may seem like “just too much” to be writing another letter, but some things are so important, I felt I had to put them down on paper. If you think about it, we have been together now for (fill in number) year. All the moments we spend together seem to go in a flash, but these (fill in number) year have been very fulfilling for me. I am always thinking of how I would like these moments to last my whole life. In other words, I want you to marry me.
How do you feel about this? Since I have not properly confirmed your feelings before in words, it would be wrong to say that I don’t have some anxiety about your response, but I believe that through our time together, I have more than adequately expressed my feelings towards you. I promise in good faith that I will take care of you in every way.
Well, I am sure that thinking of marriage makes your head spin, but please be in no hurry to respond. Take your time and think about it before you make your decision. I await good news from you."
Full of anxiety about how Keiko might react, Hiroshi walks slowly and takes a round-about-route to the Post Office, thinking, “Shall I mail it or not?” Suddenly he is standing in front of the post box and on the impulse of love, slides his letter into the slot.
Keiko comes home from work and finds Hiroshi’s letter in her mailbox. What could he be writing? She carefully cuts the envelope open. As she reads Hiroshi’s proposal, Keiko bursts with happiness. Blinking away her tears and with trembling fingers, she types in the fateful URL of the Letter Navigation page. She clicks on the “Marriage Proposal (Consent)” link and reads the happy letter of acceptance.
"(fill in name), thank you for your heartfelt letter. I gladly accept (fill in name)’s offer of marriage. I have long been waiting for (fill in name) to say the words of proposal, “Let’s get married”. I believe in (fill in name)’s character. Therefore I have no anxiety about a new life together with (fill in name). Let’s cooperate together to make an enjoyable family life!
Well, what sort of dress should I wear at the reception? (fill in name) will help in the dress selection, right? I am so thrilled by your proposal. Even though I cannot express myself well, because (fill in name) sent me such a bold letter, I have to say one more time, 'Thank you!'"
She rushes to the Post Office just in time to post the letter before they close. Hiroshi should get it as early as the next day!
A few days later in Hiroshi’s small apartment, the two lovers sit in the warm glow of the computer screen and choose the best announcement for their engagement. Blushing, Keiko points out that they can find birth announcements there too.
And, as the story goes — with the help of Japan Post— they should live happily ever after…, but if not, Japan Post offers a letter to ask a friend for counsel, Category: “Private”; Subcategory: “Advice”; Letter: “Divorce”. Nothing should be left to chance.
*Translation note: Japanese can refer to each other in the third person by name. For example, “How does Hiroshi feel about that?” = “How do you feel about that?”
Acknowledgement:
With thanks to Japan Post for the permission to translate their letters
http://www.post.japanpost.jp/navi/private/i-priv-m.html
Monday, February 7, 2011
Let's Happy the Debt too!
Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
Hamlet Act 1, scene 3, 75–77
As I am sure you all know, Standard & Poor's (Slogan: Meet our standard or we make you poor) has downgraded Japanese debt from AA (double-A) to double-A minus. Now, when I was in school, even a single-A minus would have been reason for delirious celebration, but apparently in the high flying world of international finance, this is not considered a "good grade".
Prime Minister Kan demonstrated his concern by saying that he "doesn't know much about" credit rating systems. Hats off to the PM; would that every national leader could be so bluntly honest: "I'm an idiot; live with it."
As everyone knows, the United States is a huge borrower of money, a great deal of it from foreign countries like China and Japan.
But I was curious. Who is holding Japanese debt? Who would buy Japanese Government Bonds (JGB) when they are only AA minus rated (US is AAA rated), especially when you see that Japan is ranked right behind hyperinflating Zimbabwe in percent of total debt against GDP?
It turns out, the Japanese are borrowing from themselves! A full 95% of Japanese national debt is held by Japan.
How do they manage this?
They pay themselves a very low interest rate on their holdings. For example, the consumer interest rate for a Post Office, 3-year deposit is – wait for it – a WHOPPING 0.362% (after taxes) per year! This means that for every $100,000 of your nest egg you invest, you will get the substantial sum of $362 per year in interest income. Forget about more eggs in your nest; it's more like a little salt on the one you have. Americans, on the other hand, pay on average 3.29% or roughly 10 times as much.
What will the government do when the people decide that they want their money back?
Let's look at an example case.
Here are Mr. and Mrs. Futsuu a couple who have just taken retirement and are looking to spend their golden years, enjoying the fruit of their savings. They have been very frugal indeed, and in addition to Mr. Futsuu's pension of about $20,000 per year, they have the interest on the $500,000 they have saved. They have put all of their money into "high-yield" Post Office savings accounts and now their $500,000 is paying out (omg... this means I have to do some math... one sec...)$1810 per year in interest.
Mrs. Futsuu: (looking at their savings statement) Hey, look at this! We only got $1810 last year on our savings! We can't live on that! That barely covers your beer bill for each month!
Mr: And my pension only pays us a little more than $1600 per month...
Mrs: (looking sadly at Mr) We can't afford to live here any more.
Mr: (brightening) Let's move to the US where we can get 3.29% or better yet, New Zealand where we can get over 5% on our savings!
Mrs: (cheering up) Yes! I have been reading that many Japanese are moving abroad to retire.
So the Futsuus take out all their money and move to New Zealand.
This scenario, clearly, is unsustainable. If all the retirees remove their assets from savings in Japan, the government won't have the money to pay them back!
What should the government do?
It's simple! The government should take active steps to move them NOW, before they feel the pressure to withdraw their savings. Programs to encourage resettlement should be set up, offering housing in mostly Japanese compounds (for cultural comfort) in less expensive countries such as New Zealand (Slogan: Sheep ᴙ us) or Thailand. Only in this way will they be able to afford the retirement and aging of such a large portion of their population. This is also a win-win situation for everyone. The government moves people to cheaper places, thus saving on retirement and late-life health care costs for its aging population. The retirees themselves enjoy an upgrade in their lifestyles while spending far less of their life's savings. Young people will benefit from the increase in new job openings and reduced costs of supporting their elders. And finally, the lands they vacate in moving abroad can be turned over to relocated agricultural workers (see last week's post). Only by taking this dramatic and farsighted action can Japan create a more dynamic country – free from debt and disappearing seniors.
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
Hamlet Act 1, scene 3, 75–77
As I am sure you all know, Standard & Poor's (Slogan: Meet our standard or we make you poor) has downgraded Japanese debt from AA (double-A) to double-A minus. Now, when I was in school, even a single-A minus would have been reason for delirious celebration, but apparently in the high flying world of international finance, this is not considered a "good grade".
Prime Minister Kan demonstrated his concern by saying that he "doesn't know much about" credit rating systems. Hats off to the PM; would that every national leader could be so bluntly honest: "I'm an idiot; live with it."
As everyone knows, the United States is a huge borrower of money, a great deal of it from foreign countries like China and Japan.
But I was curious. Who is holding Japanese debt? Who would buy Japanese Government Bonds (JGB) when they are
It turns out, the Japanese are borrowing from themselves! A full 95% of Japanese national debt is held by Japan.
How do they manage this?
They pay themselves a very low interest rate on their holdings. For example, the consumer interest rate for a Post Office, 3-year deposit is – wait for it – a WHOPPING 0.362% (after taxes) per year! This means that for every $100,000 of your nest egg you invest, you will get the substantial sum of $362 per year in interest income. Forget about more eggs in your nest; it's more like a little salt on the one you have. Americans, on the other hand, pay on average 3.29% or roughly 10 times as much.
What will the government do when the people decide that they want their money back?
Let's look at an example case.
Here are Mr. and Mrs. Futsuu a couple who have just taken retirement and are looking to spend their golden years, enjoying the fruit of their savings. They have been very frugal indeed, and in addition to Mr. Futsuu's pension of about $20,000 per year, they have the interest on the $500,000 they have saved. They have put all of their money into "high-yield" Post Office savings accounts and now their $500,000 is paying out (omg... this means I have to do some math... one sec...)$1810 per year in interest.
Mrs. Futsuu: (looking at their savings statement) Hey, look at this! We only got $1810 last year on our savings! We can't live on that! That barely covers your beer bill for each month!
Mr: And my pension only pays us a little more than $1600 per month...
Mrs: (looking sadly at Mr) We can't afford to live here any more.
Mr: (brightening) Let's move to the US where we can get 3.29% or better yet, New Zealand where we can get over 5% on our savings!
Mrs: (cheering up) Yes! I have been reading that many Japanese are moving abroad to retire.
So the Futsuus take out all their money and move to New Zealand.
This scenario, clearly, is unsustainable. If all the retirees remove their assets from savings in Japan, the government won't have the money to pay them back!
What should the government do?
It's simple! The government should take active steps to move them NOW, before they feel the pressure to withdraw their savings. Programs to encourage resettlement should be set up, offering housing in mostly Japanese compounds (for cultural comfort) in less expensive countries such as New Zealand (Slogan: Sheep ᴙ us) or Thailand. Only in this way will they be able to afford the retirement and aging of such a large portion of their population. This is also a win-win situation for everyone. The government moves people to cheaper places, thus saving on retirement and late-life health care costs for its aging population. The retirees themselves enjoy an upgrade in their lifestyles while spending far less of their life's savings. Young people will benefit from the increase in new job openings and reduced costs of supporting their elders. And finally, the lands they vacate in moving abroad can be turned over to relocated agricultural workers (see last week's post). Only by taking this dramatic and farsighted action can Japan create a more dynamic country – free from debt and disappearing seniors.
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