Confusion in the Ranks 2012

It's time ONCE AGAIN to look in on the Presidential election campaign in the United States.
In my last couple of related posts, we considered how the call from God – that many of the candidates claimed – affected their performance in the primaries and caucuses.
Clearly with the leader-board changing so often, we have to realize that the process is much more complex than can be explained by calls from God or Mormon underwear.
My favorite candidate, Donald Trump (what's not to like about him, eh?!), whom I endorsed many months ago, has not only dropped out of the race but has come out in favor of another candidate, Mitt Romney.
The Donald... how could you DO this to me!
THAT blindsided me!
I was sure he would endorse Newt, or Ron Paul (why does he have two first names?), or even Goofy, but no ... it's Mitt.
Now as we all know, Mitt is a Mormon and is alleged to wear the religious underwear of the devout. Of course, it's possible to make too much of this and be accused of religious bias (heaven forbid). After all, Jews wear the yarmulke, Sikh men wear the turban, and the Pope wears a large, stylized mussel on his head. Why Mormons didn't stick to some sort of headgear is difficult to say, but the underwear goes a long way towards making them special.
Special as it may be, Jon Huntsman is also a Mormon, but his underwear did not protect him from the disdain of the Tea Partiers and the Evangelicals in Republican ranks – the ones who set the bottom lines for the campaign. Uncommonly brave, Huntsman actually came out and said, “I believe in evolution and trust scientists on global warming. Call me crazy.” Which in a way proved that he was, since only a crazy person would say something like that to Republicans this year. Speaking a foreign language didn't help.
The Republican race is a roller coaster ride though, full of ups and downs. Newt Gingrich (Slogan: Let me show the Mormons how to do polygamy!) claimed as late as December that he couldn't see how he wouldn't be the nominee. Alas, his vision was a little undernourished and the Michelin Man candidate has been on a serious delegate diet since South Carolina.
Then Mitt took off in Florida only to crater out in Missouri, Minnesota and Colorado where Santorum soared!
Santorum has serious cred with the conservative "Christians*" of the Republican right, coming out as he does for teaching creation science in the schools. Also boosting his appeal, he equates being gay with bestiality and opposes unregulated consensual sex. Clearly, unlike with Jon Huntsman, the Bottom Liners of the Republican party are not going to call HIM crazy! No way!
Next up is the excitement of the Michigan primary and – down the line – Super Tuesday.
It's called that because you get an extra order of fries AND a jumbo serving of whatever is on the Republican menu on Tuesday! How can that be bad? As we all know, the Republicans like a good meal (no socialist health insurance to cover that health issue, of course)!
Because of the Tea Partiers and the Evangelicals, each candidate is forced to prove how conservative he is, so we have been witness to a kind of one-upmanship among the contenders.

On science?
"You believe in intelligent design? Oh yeah? Well! I believe in creationism!
"Creationism? Ha! I believe that the world is flat!"
"Flat?! What a liberal! I believe the sun orbits around the earth! So there!"

On women?
"I think women should not be getting birth control pills; it encourages a deviant lifestyle!"
"Ha! Is THAT all?! I also think a woman should stay at home, submitting to a man as her leader!"
"Pathetic! You guys are left of Castro! I believe a woman should stay at home and wear a burka AND hold an aspirin between her knees for birth control!"

One of them will be the nominee! Stay tuned.

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*They are Old Testamentarians, not Christians. It's similar to the Reagan phenomenon; they hearken back to his "glory days" but heaven forbid he were actually here! No way could Reagan be a candidate today (he raised taxes) and no way would Jesus tolerate right-wing Republicans.