We all have bad habits.
Let's face it. And we often don't even know that we are doing them. Some bad habits might creep in under the radar. I certainly don't know what my bad habits are, do you?
Don't be snarky, I am asking you if you know what YOUR bad habits are.
Of course not.
It's part of the human experience that we are unaware of what our own bad habits might be and how they drive the people around us crazy, so that they want to beat us to death with the fireplace poker.
We have no fireplace pokers in our house.
On purpose.
The first step in dealing with this problem is identifying what horrid habits you have and how they are making those close to you start looking for the poker. I did some research about this (saving you the trouble, since I know you are busy and have a life etc. etc.) and found these pressing behaviors that drive others crazy. The list is long, so I have selected 3 of the prominent ones to provide advice about.
Popular Bad Habits (find the complete list here):
1. Picking your nose or some other body part.
This one is hard to be attentive to. Your hand just creeps up there and goes for that little thing in that one nostril and the next thing you know you have three fingers in there doing a boogerotomy.
Nobody likes to see this.
The psychiatric advice is to replace this repulsive activity with some other actions that are more socially admissible. If you are a dog, this is where you hump the couch leg rather than the leg of your mother-in-law who happens to come over for dinner. It's called "displacement" in the psychological world.
Since handcuffing your offending hand to the chair is impractical, you need to find another way to "displace" the disgusting pastime. This requires a conscious commitment to engaging the offending fingers in some other activity.
What other things could you ask your hand to do?
a) Straighten your tie. This requires you actually wear a tie, so it might not work for some people (like me), but for the average professional it might be a good solution.
b) Hold your chin thoughtfully. This can work for anyone, and makes you look pensive and intelligent. Don't go too far with this and do a "face palm" as that could convey the wrong message.
2. Passing gas
It's simply too facile to say you should stop eating beans or not swallow your food whole as a way of solving this problem. The gas just seems to want to squeak out on its on—usually during an important meeting with your boss or when you are trying to impress a date.
Unfortunately there is no "displacement" activity that your ... er... posterior can do to take the place of the unfortunate "fracking" going on down there, so other steps need to be considered.
a) Sit near someone older than you. This way when you release your fumes, others in the room will probably blame the "old fart" next to you. You can encourage this by side-glancing at him quickly and sort of edging your chair away slightly.
b) Comment on it, so that it is clear you didn't "deal it". Don't be too obvious with "fart comments" but say something general like "What IS that smell? Are they emptying the dumpsters or something out there?"
3. Taking forever to get to the point in a conversation
We all have met those with this unfortunate condition, people who blather on and on. He usually catches you with some "hook" of an opening line like "Oh, Fred! I wanted to say something about your vacation plans to Maui." And then he will talk about his trip to Oahu and how the towels in the hotel were really fluffy and nice and how they managed to "sneak" towels out for their snorkeling trip to Hanauma Bay where they got sunburned and his wife had to go to the hospital and get treated for it and then she had to stay in the room for the next couple of days, so he went out on his own and met this really cool "chick" and how they just "hit it off" and how they had lunch together in a really cute place right off Waikiki beach... blah, blah, blah." And meanwhile if they took an EEG of your brain at the moment, you would be a perfect candidate for organ donation.
The problem with this bad habit is that people who have it are congenitally incapable of KNOWING they have it. "Who me? What do you mean 'get to the point'? I was just giving Fred here some advice about his trip to Maui! Sheesh!"
So the only thing you can do is to develop strategies to deal with this sort of individual. Conventional tactics such as looking ostentatiously at your watch will not make the slightest impression, so you need to take drastic action.
a) Change the subject. Look intently at his face and say something like, "Hey, Ralph... I don't mean to interrupt, but have you had a doctor look at that unusual growth... that dark spot there on your cheek recently?" This is guaranteed to stop him dead in his tracks and give you the opportunity to escape.
b) Invoke "stand your ground" laws and shoot him in self-defense. Ha ha. Just kidding about this one, OK?
The list of bad habits is long, but the best professional advice is that you should not try to rectify more than one at a time. Try to outline your worst habits and start slowly to eliminate them and become a better you. Perhaps by the time you are on your deathbed, people will say "What a guy! He has absolutely no bad habits at all!" Of course being on your deathbed is a bad habit in itself, but maybe there are some tactics you can use to deal with that one too.
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