Wailing Whalers

Japanese research whalers have been chased from the Antarctic by the radical whale-protection group Sea Shepherd. They did not make their planned quota of whales and return with a bare 172 of the planned 900 whales aboard. Giving up on whaling this year has been big news in Japan, so – of course – a Hard Hitting News Hound like me needed to go out and get some "on the scene" material to report to you.
I was able to get an interview with a former captain of one of the whaling ships, a person who keeps in close contact with his crew and their new captain and who remains in a position of influence in the Japanese whaling community.
HHNH (Hard Hitting News Hound): Thank you for meeting with me Capt. Chinbotsu.
Capt. Chinbotsu: My pleasure. I am always happy to explain the importance of Japanese whaling to the foreign media.
HHNH: Well... to start, what do you think about these recent developments that are bringing the Japanese whaling fleet home early.
CC: I think it's a travesty. We were planning to harvest 900 whales and now they are on their way home with only 172. What are the restaurants around here to do?!
HHNH: I thought the whaling was for research purposes not to serve in restaurants.
CC: Yes... yes, of course. Research is the main goal.
HHNH: Just out of curiosity, what are some of the results of this research?
CC: It has been very productive! We now know, for example, that whales eat krill and fish!
HHNH: No way! Now that is news that I think everyone will be interested to hear. Who would have guessed that whales would be eating fish? I mean... in the sea? Truly an amazing finding!
CC: (beaming) Yes, we have definitely pushed back the frontiers of knowledge when it comes to whales.
HHNH: What about the harvested whales? Can you tell me a little about what happens to them?
CC: Of course we eat them.
HHNH: You personally?
CC: Oh no... not me. I grew up on beef, and I have to say that whale meat tastes a little fishy on account of their diet. But we try to serve it in specialty restaurants and to school children for lunches.
HHNH: And how was that received?
CC: Well... unfortunately the restaurants are not doing so well, and the kids didn't really care for it. We have a large frozen stockpile and the price has fallen. My dog loves it, though!
HHNH: Then why is the whaling necessary?
CC: It is a part of traditional Japanese culture! We Japanese have always been whalers and losing this important aspect of our culture would be just another step down the slippery slope of cultural decline.
HHNH: But... er... the traditional whaling was done to feed the people, but now it seems the people don't want to eat whales anymore. And aren't there really only four small communities that are involved in whaling?
CC: That's exactly my point! If we do not catch whales and feed them to the Japanese people, we will lose touch with this important part of Japanese culture! It is absolutely vital that we continue whaling! The four whaling communities are all that is left of this wonderful tradition. It's critical that we persist in whaling to keep this valuable cultural asset alive.
HHNH: So now that the whaling fleet is coming back to Japan with a greatly reduced catch, what will Japanese whalers do to keep up this important tradition?
CC: Yes, as it turns out, we have found that the southern Gulf coast of the United States may have a large number of whales. We will be sending our whaling fleet there next summer to continue our important research.
HHNH: That is exciting news! Well... all the best in your next hunt!
CC: It was a pleasure talking to you.