You can tell my muses are not working as I am reduced to picking on the religious right again. How pathetic can I get; it's too easy.
I need another martini to drown my feelings of inadequacy.
US religious figure Billy Graham (93 – in human terms, 256) has recently rousted himself from the rigor mortis of his fossildom. Why? He wants to support the anti-gay-marriage amendment, recently proposed for the North Carolina constitution.
His view is that there is a terrible "moral decline" in the United States and that allowing loving gay people to get married like everyone else is somehow contributing to this decline.
There are two important questions to be asked here. Why does Billy Graham oppose gay marriage, and is his name related to the cracker of the same name (because wouldn't it be cool if it was)?
To answer the first question, Reverend Graham draws on the Bible for inspiration. He believes that the scriptures clearly state that homosexual relations are morally wrong and an "abomination" in the eyes of his god. Leviticus in the Bible is pretty clear about this. In verse 18:22, it specifically states, "You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination".
How bad is that?
It seems pretty clear to me that male homosexuality was an abomination to the writers of Leviticus.
Leviticus fails to mention anything about lesbianism, so presumably they would not be abominable. You North Carolinians might want to codify this exception in your amendment: guys nix, gals OK.
Many evangelical right-wingers use this scripture to justify their gay-bashing behavior and attitudes. What other possible reason could they have to prevent someone from marrying the person they love? They wave their Bibles in people's faces and claim that the Bible cannot be wrong because it is the word of god!
In a subsequent verse (20:13), Leviticus goes on to say, "If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall be put to death, their blood is upon them." So presumably these rabid evangelicals also believe that male homosexuals should be put to death as well! North Carolina has the death penalty, so I am guessing that this will be next on their list of bills to pass. One does want to be consistent, right?
Lesbians can relax, the Bible doesn't single them out as abominable†.
The scriptures, however, do not stop there, and evangelical Christians should be aware of other abominations out there, rather than relying only on the ones featured on Fox News or in Billy Graham's fetid imagination.
Deuteronomy is pretty explicit. In verse 22:5, it proclaims, "A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman's garment; for whoever does these things is an abomination to the LORD your God."
While it does not call for the death penalty for women wearing pants or other things "pertaining to a man" (FORGET women in uniform!*), it is very clear that their god would not be happy with this, and so evangelicals should not be either. Men should steer away from skirts and bras and probably earrings too, just to be safe.
Nor does it stop there! Leviticus also states that everything in the waters that has not fins and scales is an abomination to you. This explicitly rules out those yummy popcorn shrimp, the popular, beach-side clam bakes, and lobster thermidor. Oysters on the half-shell? No way! Scallop sushi? It is an abomination right up there with gay sex.
Leviticus also declares, "But all other winged insects which have four feet are an abomination to you," proving that in addition to being anti-gay, whoever wrote Leviticus also could not count. Still, the evangelicals should probably lay off any insects just in case. Japanese, however, are abominable! But wait... grasshoppers have 6 feet, so maybe they are OK.
But let's face it, the evangelicals like Billy Graham are Christians, right? So, they should not focus so much on the fuddy-duddy Old Testament but rather on the words of Jesus.
Did Jesus say anything about abominations?
Yes. Once.
In Luke 15, Jesus calls the love of money an abomination. Clearly he could not be a Republican these days.
And to answer question number two about Billy Graham, there does not seem to be any link between Billy Graham and the graham cracker, though it was invented by a minister named Sylvester Graham whose life was dedicated to the eradication of lust.
Those reverends! Whatever gets into them?
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* Some evangelical "scholars" interpret that the prohibition against women wearing men's clothing refers specifically to military garb. These "scholars" don't discuss men wearing women's wear, so you guys with earrings are on your own. I don't even want to THINK about colognes.
†Yes, all you Biblical "scholars", I am aware of Paul's antipathy to lesbianism. He wants the death penalty for them too. What a guy, eh? Fits right in with the mullahs in Iran!
For more about abominations in the Bible read this.
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