The Spring of Sparrow Feuding

(Today's muse is a perky Sauvignon Blanc from New Zealand (ask if you want to know the vintner). Tart fruit with overtones of lemongrass, minty cool and leaving my breath fresh and clean... no wait... that was the toothpaste this morning... never mind. Anyway, the wine is super!)
In our region these days, the hatching in the wild of Japanese Crested Ibis – the first time in 36 years – is dominating the news, but, keeping to the birdie theme, I want to talk about a more down-to-earth bird and its habits, the sparrow.
Sparrows come and build nests under the eaves of our house every spring (see Exhibit A).

Exhibit A

This vernal squatting behavior means that I get a chance to observe sparrow activity up-close and personal on a routine basis.
It is not as boring as you might think.
First of all, the deck below the eaves gets littered with nest building materials. (See Exhibit B). Naturally, one wonders why so much of the nest building material ends up on the deck and not in the niches under the eaves.
We nature observers, full of patience and wonder for Nature's eternal cycle of birth, life and death, are especially keen to answer these burning questions about the natural events that transpire around us.
So, let's inspect the happenings under the eaves.

Jethro is the first to return from wintering in the trailer parks down south somewhere and moves in with a flourish, building a splendid nest in the choicest location at the top of the stack on the north side out of the wind but facing the sun (Exhibit A). He and his mate, Bobbie Mae, begin their joyful nest building and stuff their convenient spot with hay, miscellaneous cat fur and whatever else they find around.
Unfortunately, latecomer Bubba sees what they are up to and remembers that HE was almost first up from the trailer parks last year, so he flies in and begins to build his nest with his mate, Savannah Lee (a serious hottie). The two of them stuff the eaves – only one spot over in an almost equally prime location. (I am not making this up.) Some of their nest materials are actually TOUCHING the nest of Jethro and Bobbie Mae!
Naturally, Jethro is not keen on this.

"Honeypie?" He says, "That braggart Bubba has done gone and horned in with a nest next to our'n."
"Wail... whatcha gonna do about it, Jethro? Ah never liked that Bubba much... Ah don' think ah want him moovin in nex door."
"You were WITH him just lass year, Bobbie Mae! Whatchuu mean you NEVER liked him?"
"Wail... let me tail you somethin' Jethro... ah wuz with him... yes, that's true, but ah never loved him lahk ah doo you."
"Oh, Bobbie Mae, you made a poem fer me! Ah am so touched. Ah luv you too, sweetie. So we need to do somethin' about Bubba!"

So Jethro goes over when Bubba is away and rips his nest apart and throws it down onto the deck (see Exhibit B).

Exhibit B

Then he and Bobbie Mae fly off to get more nest building materials to really fix up their prime spot with good stuff.
It is best not to skimp on the hay.
It's also best not to leave your nest alone.
Naturally, Bubba (who thinks he should have the prime location) comes back from a simple outing to visit the relatives (on the other side of the house) and is not keen to find his nest on our deck.

"Oh muh gawd!" Bubba spits out over his cud (or whatever it is that birds eat). "Sweets, come an' look at THIS!"
Savannah Lee flies over from the telephone wire.
"Oh Bubba!" She bursts into tears.... "What has happened to our nest? Our home!"
"It's that dayum Jethro. Ah juss know it. Ah betcha he come over here with his slut of a wahf and trashed our nest!"
"Wasn't you an' Bobbie Mae together lass year?"
"Hmm... coulda been... but ah tail you, sweets, she ain't nothin' compared to you!"
"Oh Bubba! You juss make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!" She bats her eyelashes (or something... hey! I am not a bird... live with it!) at him. But, snookums, what're we gonna do about this? We ain't got no nest no more!"
"Yeah? Wail ah will show him!"

And Bubba hops over to tear out Jethro's nest and throws IT all down onto the deck (see Exhibit B)

And this goes on and on until Uncle Clem (on the other side of the house) tells them that they are brothers and that they need to get along. Eventually, cousin Elvis with his partner Sally Lou moves in too.

"Hey Jethro!" Savannah Lee tweets, "How y'all doin' over there?"
"Ahm doin' OK, Savannah? You lookin' purty good yersef!"
"Ahm not only LOOKIN' good, hon, ah AM good too..."
At which point Bobbie Mae chirps in, "You leave Jethro alone Savannah Lee! You done caused enough troubles round here with your flirtin' and sassy ways!"
"Me?! I saw you in cousin Buford's nest last week! Don' talk to ME about flirty ways!"
"You did not!"
And Jethro tweets furiously, "You was WHAT? In cousin Buford's nest?!"
"No, honey, it weren't me! She's juss makin' that all up. Mean bitch!"

And so it goes from five in the morning until late in the day. Nothing settles down until the first eggs are laid: the blessing of nature's life-cycle, right here on the deck.