Monday, March 7, 2011

Let's English the Diet!

Once again another Japanese Prime Minister hangs by a thread. Prime Minister Kan is the 5th Prime Minister to grace the national political summit in the last 4 and a half years. His party does not have an outright majority and thus depends on the participation of small but irritatingly picky, lesser parties for its survival.
Critical issues of national importance, such as the US bases in Okinawa, the huge national debt, declining birthrates, and whether the pandas brought from China will mate, have tied his brief administration in knots. He flounders, looking for salvation from the heated questioning and challenges to the smooth and decisive leadership he wishes to portray.
What can he do?
The answer is so obvious, one can only wonder why he hasn't implemented it already.
He should change the language of the Japanese Parliament (the Diet) to English!
There is ample precedent for such a move. Starting with Nissan Motors under Carlos Ghosn who insisted that management meetings be conducted in English as early as 2001, other firms such as online sales company Rakuten and the major clothing retailer, Uniqlo, have followed suit, requiring all their meetings to be conducted in English. Tough love; but those who cannot learn the language adequately can simply pack their bags and leave.
Switching to English in the Diet would be a win-win situation! As anyone who has taught English in Japan can tell you, there is no faster way to reduce the buzz of conversation and the asking of questions than to require that it be done in English. Debate in the Diet would be reduced to a trickle and all the background shouting would fade to a Zen-like calm.
In addition, the Prime Minister's commitment to the use of English would demonstrate real support for the English language programs his Ministry of Education (and a bunch of other departments, so that it's acronym is MEXT) is foisting off on the nation's elementary schools. The relatively new layer of entrance exam testing it has imposed on the nation's high school grads would also assume a novel luster.
Of course there would be the naysayers, those simpletons who would stand up and make the specious argument that Japanese politics should be discussed in Japanese. But the Prime Minister could demonstrate his charisma by walking to the mike and saying, "Sit down and shut up!" Now that would put those pesky upstarts from the other parties in their places! Let's weaponize the English!
The Prime Minister IS in dire need of some image burnishing, unfortunately. Video of his visit with President Obama last September made him look like he needed a new diaper, what with all the nervous out-of-sync smiling and wiggle-butting in the chair. A dramatic, new endeavor such as this would drag his approval ratings out of the cellar where they are now and into living rooms across the nation where everyone could watch the debates on NHK (Japanese public broadcasting). At least with the discussions in English, the public would have an excuse not to understand what is going on.

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