I have written about English education here before, introducing my new and innovative techniques based on long, professional experience.
Of course, many of you know that English has been a compulsory subject for Japanese pupils from junior through senior high school since the War. Students often continue their English training in college, and starting in 2011, English has even been required in the higher grades of elementary school. Many people also have also attended language schools to learn the language, and this remains a major industry in Japan. Despite these valiant efforts, however, actual English usage remains undeveloped in the general population. In TOEFL (Test of English as a Foreign Language used for admission to US universities), Japan ranked 135th out of 163 countries. Cambodia, Lao, Tajikistan and other less developed countries anchor the bottom of the rankings, but Japan is trying hard to crowd them out. In fact even though Japanese take the TOEIC (Test of English for International Communication) almost three times as often as the rest of the world combined, their scores are solidly in the cellar. Gold medal Japan!
Since all of us know Japanese who speak English really well, the problem is clearly not a genetic one.
Education is the issue.
One can paraphrase Winston Churchill here and say, "Never has so much been done by so many for so little."
Important change is afoot, however!
On TV these days we can see an ad for an English language school which starts out with the main character sitting in a sidewalk café, talking in English to his dog. The dog looks up at him expectantly. He bends over and says pithy lines to the dog.
"Your master is feeling down. It was a problem with the boss at work. It hurts, because there is a lot of trust involved. Your master might even resign. But, it's important to believe in yourself. The future depends on what we do now. You believe in your master, right?"
The dog barks once, reassuring his master that he does indeed believe in him. The man turns to a woman who has been sitting there all the while and says, "I believe in you too." She replies, "Thank you, Yusuke. Thank you." and smiles gratefully, perhaps delighted that he was able to master an inter-human action in English at last, or that he might call her a cab so she can escape a date gone badly wrong.
Clearly this school has developed a new language teaching technique, employing animals in the intermediate stages of training. Despite the somewhat off-the-wall aspect of his words, and the fact that he is sharing them with a dog, the man's English actually comes off OK. Clearly if you can learn to talk to your dog in lengthy and fluent sentences, talking to a human – if even only briefly – becomes that much easier.
She did say "thank you" after all!
It's a technique that might hold some promise in the compulsory levels of English education in Japan. It's a well-known fact that many elementary school teachers resent the burden of having to teach English to their charges, since most of them did not themselves specialize in English. How much easier it would be to bring some docile animals to class – small dogs or even lazy cats – and let the children practice on them! A recording by a native speaker could provide the model which the children would then repeat in unison to the animals. It would provide a non-judgemental and non-threatening environment in which the kids could learn practical, everyday English without pressure.
Recording: Your master is feeling down.
Pupils (to the animals): Your master is feeling down.
Recording: It was a problem with the teacher at school.
Pupils: It was a problem with the teacher at school.
Recording: Your master might even have to report him to the authorities.
Pupils: Your master might even have to report him to the authorities.
And so on. Then like the man in the commercial, they could apply simple substitution-drill-type adjustments to transfer these skills to the real world of talking to humans.
Pupil (to strange foreigner on the street): I might even have to report you to the authorities.
Foreigner: Cosa? Non parlo inglese.
Advancements are being made not only in using animals to help out with the language-learning paralysis of Japanese education, but "speed learning" is also being promoted on TV as the way to get that much longed-for, casual English, language skill. A young golfer appears in the commercials talking about how great speed learning has been for his English skills. At the end of the commercial they show him – deer-in-the-headlights – talking with an actual foreigner and saying "yes" several times in a dramatic demonstration of how he has improved.
In another episode, an elderly lady describes how she has gotten a lot better at English through this method, and she too, shows off her linguistic abilities by telling a small group of foreigners that "something... something... (not clear) was founded during the Edo Period." The foreigners nod approvingly much in the same way the dog barked in the other commercial. You can order the complete set of 48 speed learning materials for only a little more than ¥160,000 (about $1600). They list 2 sets as a one-month lesson, so the whole package should keep you busy for 2 years if you are diligent. Speedy speedy!
But, English has come a long way since the old days when ruthless audio-lingual drills and touchy feelie Total Physical Response activities failed to bring practical English skills to the Japanese public at large. Now they can fail in a modern way with animals or through the miracle of speed learning! Maybe the animals can take the speed learning classes and become kind of "hearing-ear" critters to help handicapped Japanese negotiate the world of English?
Which reminds me of another joke (sorry about this).
The Japanese professor is giving a presentation at an international conference, diligently reading the lecture notes he has written in English.
An American in the audience turns to one of his colleagues and says, "What really amazes me is how much Japanese actually sounds like English at times!"
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