A Christmas Story

Christmas.
Doesn't it just conjure up a whole flood of memories and feelings for you?
Me too.
I want you to envision those nativity scenes, the creches, that you have seen throughout your life. Can you picture them?
Mary, the center of the scene, the baby Jesus lying in a manger, the wise men with their gifts, the sheep and their shepherds, Joseph benignly looking on from behind... can you see it?
Hold that thought and then sing along with me... no... really... sing along with feeling for the Christmas season (unless your religion forbids it, in which case just sit there and scroll down).
Sigh-a-lent night
Hoe-a-lee night
All is calm
All is bright
Round yon vir-er-gin, mother, and child
hoe-a-lee infant so tender and mild...
OK, you can stop there.
Quick question. Which one is the virgin?
I am guessing Joseph.
So, there he is, looking down on his betrothed who has given birth to a baby that is not his!
And (yes, I have contacts and spies everywhere) in the spirit of Wikileaks, I bring you the actual recorded (by hand) conversation between Mary and Joseph about the baby Jesus thing. And – no – I will not reveal my sources.
. . . . . . . . . .
Mary: Joseph?
Um...
I have something I need to talk with you about.
Joseph: Oh yeah? What?
I've been changing my loincloth everyday now, you know, and I took out the garbage already....
Mary: No no... it's not that... um... it's hard to explain really... but... an angel of the lord appeared to me the other night, and said that I would become pregnant. (nervous laughter....)
Joseph: But we are not married yet and have made the purity pledge. How could you get pregnant?
Mary: (nervous titter) Well... um... I am not sure... the angel didn't say. He only said I was pregnant.
Joseph: He? You ARE pregnant? Like, right NOW?!
Wait.... wait... I don't understand. What's going on here?
Mary: Well... this angel appeared to me in a dream the other night, and ...um... he said that I would become pregnant by the Holy Spirit.
Joseph: By the Holy Spirit.... right...
Tell me a little more about this angel... what did he look like exactly? He didn't look like Benjamin, that stone worker next door, did he?
Mary: No... he was bathed in light... He said that the Holy Spirit would make me with child.
Joseph: The Holy Spirit.... uh huh...
I heard from Esther that Benjamin was coming around here a lot when I was away on that kitchen-cabinet project in Tiberias for a couple of weeks last month.
Mary: Oh! That? (nervous laughter)
Um... he came over because the drains were plugged up, and I couldn't get them to flow properly...
Joseph: And that took how many times to fix?
Esther said he was hanging around almost all the time.
Mary: No! Not ALL the time.... He was...
Joseph: And now you're pregnant.
Mary: Yes...
Joseph: By a Holy Spirit...
Mary: Yes...
Joseph: As told to you by an angel...
Mary: Yes...
Joseph: ... who appeared to you in a dream.
Mary: Yes...
Joseph: ... bathed in light.
Mary: Yes...?
Joseph: Makes sense to me. What's for dinner?
Mary: It does?
I mean...
Oh! We're having roast mutton for dinner... your favorite.
Joseph: Cool! I'm starved!

Merry Christmas to all my readers and best wishes for a brilliant New Year!
(no post this Monday)