Kitty Collector

Years ago when in graduate school, we lived in a log cabin in the woods. An idyllic place it was – surrounded by forest and plenty of wildlife: deer, pheasant, rabbits and the occasional possum or raccoon. We heated our house with a Franklin stove. Since the cabin was only one large room, the wood-fired Franklin was enough to get us through the cold Pennsylvania winters. Our cats, Sumi and Ollie, liked it too.
Both of them were black cats, and they would recline in front of the stove, basking in the warmth. Ollie in particular would lie on the ottoman directly facing the fire and get so hot we would need potholders to move him.
That inspired this fantastic invention which I would like to share with you today. In our rapidly warming world, anything we can do as individuals to reduce our carbon footprint will make a big difference to our children and grandchildren, or other people's children and grandchildren (if you don't have any of your own, or are gay), or to future generations in general (if you don't like to think about these global issues in personal terms), or to my child and potential grandchildren (if you don't really care about this issue at all).
Anyway. The fact that cats soak up radiation makes them passive heat collectors. I noticed it today. We had a rare bit of sunshine streaming into our windows this afternoon, and both of our cats found the spots which received the most solar energy and stretched out for a nap. When they got too warm, they moved to a cooler part of the house.
Can you see what I am getting at? Cats are effective heat absorbers AND provide their own thermostatic control and circulation system.
So here's the plan. Build a solarium onto the side of your house. If you do not have room for a full-sized solarium, even a bank of south-facing windows will do the trick. Next, get some cats. I think somewhere between 30 and 50 would probably do the trick, depending on the size of your house. That would guarantee that while some of them were in the cooler parts of the house, radiating their heat, others would be in the sun, absorbing more. This would be the perfect system for those areas that get plenty of sun but that are still very cold in winter, the high desert, for example.
"But what if there is no sun," You ask?
An excellent question! (In fact I have been impressed by the quality of your questions right along!) Since cats can absorb heat from any radiant source, you could use a wood stove, an oil heater, a heat lamp or any other source that provides radiant heat that cats like to be near. They will – of their own volition – carry this heat to the corners of your house, keeping you toasty throughout the winter.
What better way to make an energy efficient, low carbon-footprint contribution to the future of our planet. Getting the cats off the streets and keeping them away from delinquency would be a positive thing too.