The Sherpas Miss Out on Christmas

To many of us, the Christmas story is nostalgic, bringing back memories of Christmases past. For some, however, the story may be new. In keeping with my Christmas messages of past years where we peeked in on Mary and Joseph and last year when we witnessed the miracle of the Wisemen, this year too, I would like to bring part of the Christmas story to life.
What does the Bible say happened after the birth of Jesus?
It says that shepherds were in their fields watching over their flocks by night when an angel appeared to them and scared them with his brilliance. The angel said, "Don't be afraid, guys! I bring good news to you and all the people, for this day in Bethlehem, Christ the Lord is born. If you go there you will find him wrapped in a humble wrap and lying in a manger." And then suddenly the sky was full of angels all singing heavenly praises (forgive my loose rendition*)!
Didn't you ever wonder about this story?
I did.
Why would an angel go out in the dark to a bunch of mangy shepherds, dragging along a whole choir of other angels, and put on this performance for them?
There is an explanation.
It was a mistake.
The angel – let's choose an angelic name for him, how about Ralph – was sent out on a mission from God. Unfortunately he spent the afternoon before the mission with some of the other angels who were to accompany him. They were drinking at a "get ready to go to Earth" party where they consumed large amounts of heavenly elixir – let's call it "vodka". When they finally set off on the mission, they were pretty well tanked.
Let's pick up the scenario upon their return.
The video I have opens with Ralph and the other angels in the locker room, getting ready to shower and taking off their wings and uniforms.
(You didn't think they dress like that ALL the time did you? You DID, didn't you! LOL!)
Ralph: Wow! That went way better than I thought! Hey! High fives all around, guys! That was super!
Other Angels: Yeah! (high fiving all around, and some of the angels snap towels at Ralph's butt.)
Assistant Angel-Coach (poking his head into the locker room): Hey... uh... Ralph? The Boss wants to see you.
Ralph (winking at the other angels): Don't worry guys, if I get promoted or am awarded a better spot by the pool, you can count on me to put in a good word for you too! (he snaps his towel at another angel's butt on his way out the door)
(he struts out into the hall and makes the trek to God's office)
Ralph (knocking): Sir? It's Ralph... you wanted to see me?
God (sitting at his desk, looking down, his left hand holding his glasses loosely and his right index finger and thumb pressing the bridge of his nose; he speaks quietly) Come in and sit down, Ralph.
(Ralph starts feeling a little nervous but sits down)
God (looking up with a painful look): Ralph? How did your mission go on Earth... announcing the birth of Christ the Lord. my son?
Ralph (brightening): It went great! I made the first appearance all by myself so as not to scare them too much. I kept the dimmers on the whole time. And later right on cue, the rest of the team came on to sing a lot of heavenly praises to you! We really lit up the sky! Some kind of major fireworks, I tell you! Those dimmers are cool; we turned them up big time. Quite a performance I would say.
God (shaking his head pathetically): And Ralph... who exactly did you put on this spectacular, once in a millennium performance for?
Ralph: The shepherds, of course...
God: And why, Ralph.... WHY did you feel it was important to go out into a remote field and put on this fantastic show for... (flipping the pages on his clipboard and checking) five shepherds?
Ralph: Um... that's what we were told to do? ... The Assistant Coach came to us yesterday morning and told us to put on this show for the shepherds and announce the birth of the newborn King.
God (shouting): NOT SHEPHERDS YOU MORON!!! SHERIFFS!!
(quickly calming and speaking very quietly) Ralph?
Ralph (suddenly much paler, all the blood having drained to his feet): Yes, sir?
God (quietly again): What we wanted was publicity. The whole idea was to get the message out to people who count, people who had the authority to spread the word and be trusted or at least believed. They were to spread the word. Do shepherds sound like such a group to you?
Ralph: Well... um... I guess not.
God (speaking as if to someone with serious intellectual limitations): That's right, Ralph.
Shepherds are completely useless in that effort.
They spend their days tending sheep, usually alone. They have no authority over anyone. They don't even congregate amongst themselves in large numbers....
Ralph: I see...
God: Now, Ralph? Can you think of anyone who might be better at spreading the word? People with authority given to them by their ruler? People with power and local connections in their communities? The name begins with "sh...."
Ralph: Um... sheriffs?
God: That's right, Ralph. Very good. You mucked things up, you know. So I am demoting you. You no longer have bar privileges pool-side, and you have to share an apartment from now on. (checking the roster) I am assigning Bubba as your roommate.
Ralph: Bubba?!! Oh my God!
God: Yes?
Ralph: Nothing...
God: That will be all, Ralph. (Ralph leaves)
At least he didn't go to the Sherpas.... Who knows that they would have done. What a moron. Why do I get all these dumb angels...
I need a vacation... badly....

I wish all of you a lovely holiday season and a happy and healthy New Year in 2017. I will be back after the New Year when I recover from the parties.

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* (the actual story)
Luke 2
8 And there were shepherds in the same country abiding in the field, and keeping watch by night over their flock. 9 And an angel of the Lord stood by them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. 10 And the angel said unto them, Be not afraid; for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which shall be to all the people: 11 for there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. 12 And this is the sign unto you: Ye shall find a babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, and lying in a manger. 13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
14 Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace among men in whom he is well pleased.
15 And it came to pass, when the angels went away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing that is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us. 16 And they came with haste, and found both Mary and Joseph, and the babe lying in the manger. 17 And when they saw it, they made known concerning the saying which was spoken to them about this child. 18 And all that heard it wondered at the things which were spoken unto them by the shepherds. 19 But Mary kept all these sayings, pondering them in her heart. 20 And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, even as it was spoken unto them.